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Receiving the Love of Your Buddha Nature

6/15/2021

Central to my practice is returning home to my true Buddha nature and turning my will and my life over to its care, thus seeing myself and the world around me through the eyes of my true Buddha self, my unwounded, pre-trauma heart. This is what enables me to be and know I will always be at peace and happy regardless what life throws my way.

I recently learned of another practice, a realization, that adds considerable power to what I've been doing. And that practice is to say, "I am sustained by the love of Buddha nature within me." I should note this practice comes from a lesson in the Course in Miracles which I learned of while watching a spiritual video. Of course in that lesson, the statement refers to God, not Buddha nature.

Why are these words so powerful? Because it is one thing to say that you turn your will and your life over to your Buddha nature, or that you see things through the eyes of your Buddha self. Something quite different to say that you are sustained by the love of Buddha nature. In the one case you are "letting God." In the other you are deriving nourishment from God.

The two go hand in hand, but they are different. And as I've said so often in my writing, the words we use to express our spiritual thoughts make a big difference in their impact.

Because I have returned home to my true Buddha nature and am sustained by its love, I now experience abundance regardless what is happening to me, what my situation is, and therefore am at peace and happy.

And because I experienced its love, I experience no fear. This goes beyond the practice of saying, "Not me!" and seeing all things through the eyes of my true Buddha self which has no fear. This is having no fear because my basic need of nourishment (see "The Four Basic Needs") is constantly met by being sustained by the love of my Buddha nature.

I encourage everyone to adopt the following mantra as part of your practice: "I am sustained by the love of Buddha nature within me." Say it not once a day, not twice, but many times as you go through your day.

Don't Just Say No to Your Mind

6/5/2021

There is a line from an ancient Chinese poem that says, "Seek rest and no rest comes instead." Meaning that if you seek something, you will experience the opposite and frustration. So it is with saying "no" to your mind's guidance. It just strengthen's that guidance, whether it is fear or anger or whatever the emotion or judgment. It is an often stated maxim in Buddhist teaching that you can't conquer something by white-knuckling it. This is why.

So what do you do when the mind gives you guidance that you know is not in your best interest? The problem is that when you say "no" to your mind, even if you go to your heart for guidance using the various practices I have laid out in other posts (for a summary see "How to Free Yourself from the Control of Your Ego-Mind"), the mind is left hanging. As the saying goes, nature abhors a vacuum, and so the mind will go back to what it knows. You have to replace the negative in your mind with something positive.

What you have to do is embrace your mind, say that this isn't how you are going to proceed, and provide your mind with the guidance you've received from your heart. In so doing, you are turning the tables on the relationship with your mind. Instead of the mind being in control of you and providing you guidance, you are taking control of yourself and providing your mind guidance.

I have always viewed my mind, or my ego-mind, as my adversary in all things Buddhist. And it is. You must be very firm with your mind. Brook no intervention. Its guidance is the cause of your suffering, not the events in your life or aspects of your being. But if you just fight the mind, you will lose.

Nor is it enough, as fundamental as it is, to reconnect with your true self, your heart. To free yourself from the mind's control it is important to have compassion for your mind, knowing how it came to be the way it is . . . which I've written previously. But you must also embrace it while saying "no" and provide it with constructive guidance.

Let Go - Let God

5/28/2021

There's a saying that is fundamental to 12-step programs, 'Let go and let God." This is the same idea as turning your will and your life over to the care of your true Buddha nature.

But there is something about that phrase that makes it very effective, even if your higher power is not God. It states your intention to stop trying to control things which you cannot control, and instead, do the things you do, play your part, but trust in the universe, your higher power, to either make it happen or not.

We want things to happen a certain way, both regarding the thing and how it comes about. By "letting God," we are not only giving up our desire for control but we are giving up the nature of the actual end result. The universe may feel that what we want is not in our best interests, at least not now, and so it doesn't happen despite all our efforts.

The point is by "letting God" we acknowledge that, as the saying goes, "the Lord acts in mysterious ways." The universe will know what is best for us and that is what will transpire. If may be, and mostly likely will be, very different from what we have in mind, what we desire, but we have faith that our higher power is here to protect us.

By letting go and letting God, we find peace because we have let go of the craving and attachment associated with our desire and so that weight is lifted from our shoulders and we feel free.

Crying - An Understanding

5/15/2021

It is often said that crying is cathartic. To what extent is that true? I wrote a post last year that took the position that crying was not the release of pain but an expression of pain. And as such, as an expression of emotion, it only strengthened the emotion and thus increased the pain.

After listening to a friend of mine's deep, soul-based, crying recently, I retract that simplistic view of crying. When someone is crying as an expression of rage, throwing a tantrum, screaming really more than crying, that is indeed an expression of emotion and is not productive. It is not cathartic. It does not lead to healing the pain.

But when someone's crying is the soul's expression of pain long pent up and creating terrible tension and depression within, that crying is a release and it is cathartic. For it breaks the mind's self-righteous, grasping hold on anger and feeling of victimization, and instead allows the soul to cry out for peace. One can hear the difference; the one is gentle, the other angry. This is crying not because of the things that have happened, but because the person has been robbed of his peace and sense of self by his mind.

I have written about how trauma is not just psychological but is held deep in the body and therefore one must undertake action, exercises, to release the trauma from the body. (See my posts, "Trauma" and "Trauma - Its Release.") Part of that release is allowing the pain to rise up and express itself at long last through deep crying or primal screaming. So much of our trauma exists because at the time of the original experience, usually as children, we did not have the capacity to express ourselves. And so the trauma was buried deep within.

Crying of the type I witnessed recently has the same effect. After the crying, and a good night's sleep, the person is present, centered, and can meditate with clarity on the issues that have bedeviled him. He will see light. This is not thinking with the mind; in this exercise everything is self-revealing and clear without involving the mind.

Keeping that clarity is a challenge, for the mind will without question reassert itself and attempt to divert the person back to a position of fear. For the mind thinks that therein lies the only protection. The mind doesn't trust anyone or anything, least of all the ability of the person to be at peace regardless what life throws at him.

Whether one engages in the crying of the soul or the crying of the rage of the mind is not an act of volition; we do not make a choice. It just happens.

So what can one do to encourage the crying of the soul rather than the rage of the mind? You encourage that by, on a daily basis, connecting with your heart, with your true Buddha nature, with your higher power be it your angels, your divinity, God - whatever you call it.

Without that connection, when the fear and anger that is in your mind takes hold of you and won't let go, you have no other place to go and you will be ridden by these emotions until you are totally spent and exhausted, Totally devastated and bereft of energy and hope.

But if you have nurtured a relationship with your heart, your higher power, when the mind does grab hold of you, at some point, when you have reached a breaking point, something will happen that brings you out of the trance and your soul will cry, expressing its pain and its desire for peace.

That is the beginning of a positive path forward; feeling at peace and secure. But have no illusions. The mind will almost certainly take control of you again when you have a weak moment, repeatedly, until you finally free yourself from its control. (See my post, "How To Free Yourself from the Control of Your Mind.")

The key is to never lose faith that you have everything you need inside yourself to be at peace and happy. And that you will always return to that place, return home to your heart regardless what life throws your way and regardless how your mind initially reacts.

The Origins of Fear

5/8/2021

It is commonly thought that fear is a natural human condition. One points to the "flight or fight" reaction of primitive man or moving your hand from flame, and finds in those reactions the evidence of fear being present in humans from the beginning.

I disagree. Flight and moving one's hand from a flame is not evidence of fear. It is evidence of a rational calculation of risk and taking action on that risk. Indeed, we find the very same reaction in animals, although in animals we call it instinct rather than reason. But that is not the subject of this post.

Fear is an emotion. It is defined as a distressing agitation of feelings brought on by impending danger or pain, real or imagined.

Why do I think that primitive man did not experience fear? In studies and accounts I've read over the years, the norm observation is that aboriginal people* exhibit no fear, regardless what is confronting them. Moreover, they are gracious. And they smile and laugh easily. I recently watched the classic documentary Nanook of the North. I know this documentary was staged, but it nevertheless graphically depicts the life of these aboriginal people. There is an innocence and spirit to them which cannot be found today.

It is normally thought that fear and the other negative emotions are a natural consequence of man being able to think, having a more developed brain than animals. Yet although aboriginal people have the same brain as modern man, they do not seem to experience fear.

Why is that? One often hears the phrase "noble" or "innocent" savage to describe the fact that aboriginal people tend to be as a rule happy and exhibit no fear or any of the other negative emotions that are so common to modern man.

But while they may be innocent of the modern world and therefore are able to be noble, they certainly were well aware of the dangers in their world which they faced daily. So why did they not experience the emotion of fear when faced with these dangers?

I believe it is in their similarity to animals in the way they raised their young that we can find the reason why they have no fear, and discover thus the origin of fear. I have often used the following description of the difference between animal birthing and modern human birthing.

"Birth, being thrust out of the womb, has to be a scary experience. When an animal is born, it is typically licked all over by the mother and is always next to the mother’s warmth until weaned. But when a baby is born, at least since it is slapped on the behind, washed by a stranger, rolled up in a blanket and given to its mother to be held and fed before being put in a basinet by itself. Not a nurturing environment.

"When a child is born, he has four basic needs: food, freedom from pain, warmth/nurturing, and physical security. These are the four irreducible needs of all human beings. In particular, a baby’s need for nurturing, for unconditional love, is almost without limit. So from the moment of its birth, a baby finds that its needs are not met, and the first seeds of insecurity are sown.

Beyond early childhood, aboriginal children were raised much as young animals are raised . . . communally. Thus they played together with other children from an early age, they were watched over by all adults, not just their mother, and they practiced through their games basic, necessary, functions of life. From the very start, the "I" of the child was more an "i," and all thoughts were in the context of "we."

There is security in "we." That is why the tribe mentality, us v them, that Trump fostered has proven so powerful.

And so aboriginal people, both in the way they were cared for after birth and the manner in which they were raised, grow up feeling secure and strong, knowing their place and value in their communal society. Fear was not part of their psychic vocabulary.

We, on the other hand, have created a competitive life-system where insecure people raise insecure children who become insecure adults who . . . It is a destructive cycle that breeds fear and anxiety. And that in turn causes people to act violently and inflict cruelties large and small. As Pogo said, "We have met the enemy and he is us."

For the sake of our children, for the sake of the world, we need to return to a more natural relationship between mother and child, especially until the child is weaned. Because adults give voice to the wounded child within them, one can safely say that our country and the world is the dysfunctional place it is because of our experiences as babies and young children.
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*I use the word aboriginal not as a synonym for indigenous, but in an anthropological sense, denoting a simple, often hunting-and-gathering, village-oriented communal society. Many such societies may make up a tribe or a people, but the societal unit is the village commune. This is in contrast to indigenous people such as the Inca and Aztec who developed complex civilizations that were not communal.

Joyful Dispassion - Update

5/1/2021

Well, things are never as simple as they should be. There's a truth that if you use an affirmation that at least part of you can't say "yes" to, you end up confirming the very thing you are working against.

And I found that when I affirmed that others will value my work and that books will sell and I will do life coaching, that even after being aware that I used to have that belief in the value of my work and in others finding it of value, and experience of that, the statement of that agent and my experience ever since has created a wall, a barrier, to rediscovering that faith.

So I asked myself, how do I reclaim that faith. One answer I thought of was to surround myself with the past evidence of people finding value in my work. The other was the "Nothing" song from Chorus Line where she sings that her teacher, the one saying negative things about her, was nothing.

And so I did that. One piece of evidence was especially moving and I sobbed uncontrollably for a few minutes.

But as cathartic as that was, and a reaffirmation, it didn't really work. Also, I thought, what do people do who have not had such evidence of other people valuing their work?

I decided that I needed to give it more time. It will take repeated acts of imagining my books selling, and people contacting me for life coaching, to breach the barrier that has been erected.

Several weeks have passed now and I find that I feel 100% comfortable now with my manifestations. It just needed time and perseverance to replace the negative beliefs that had become so powerful with my positive faith in the value of my work and that it will be valued by others.

Manifesting in the Moment

4/25/2021

Manifesting is about creating a different life, a different reality for yourself in the future. This process does also have value in the moment because by giving you positive energy now towards whatever the project or issue is, it improves the quality of your time now, in the moment.

But when I meditated the other morning and said my mantra, "There is only the present moment, all else is thought," I realized that one should also manifest the moment.

How so, the reader might ask. The moment is what it is; how can you manifest it? Yes, things are the way they are because it's just the way it is, but how you relate to the present moment is not a given. That is under your control.

Just like manifesting in the traditional sense is changing how you approach your desires, the kind of energy you bring to them, realizing the things within you that hinder the realization of these desires, manifesting in the moment is changing how you view the moment.

Typically, when we talk about changing how we relate to the present moment, it's all about acceptance, having faith that it's all ok, that it will work itself out. This is a critical aspect of our practice to end our suffering.

But what if you took your present circumstance, whatever it is, and were able to find in it the very things that you are trying to manifest in the future, not the specifics but the same type of value. For example, let's say you are manifesting abundance, specifically enough money so that you have no wants, that you can do what you want

At the moment, that specific is definitely not the case. But if you look at the moment, you will find abundance in other forms and you will see that you, your true self as opposed to your mind, is free of wants.

Even if you are in the most destitute of situations, if you look at your life with dispassion, you will be able to find many things, whether in your present or past, which provide you with the same feelings you are trying to manifest. And if you find that feeling in the present, you will be at peace.

If you learn to relate to the present in this fashion, what you will attain is far more than acceptance, it is gratefulness and joy. And that in turn will lessen the danger of your becoming attached to the things you are manifesting for the future. You will have achieved a sound basis for saying, "If it happens, great; if it doesn't happen, that's ok too."

Joyful Dispassion - Excited Non-attachment

4/11/2021

These two oxymoron's may seem to make no sense, to be internally inconsistent. And yet they are at the heart of living a fully human, spiritual life.

For much of my practice, the emphasis has been, had to be, to learn to see things as being just the way they are, that it's all ok, that I will be ok regardless what life throws my way because I have returned home and will always return home to my true Buddha nature. To view myself and the world around me directly, with dispassion, free of labels, free of the intervention of my ego-mind. It has been about gaining the wisdom of acceptance. For there is no ending of suffering without acceptance.

I have achieved that state and it has been a source of peace to me and great comfort. I have also learned to take joy in each passing moment regardless what is happening, by being aware of the light, nature, all that I am grateful for, the gift of being alive.

But I have been aware that although I feel very strongly about the work that I do, I do not experience joy in it. And last night when I was reading a book titled The Map about manifesting, I realized why. Because something inside me said that my work was not going to amount to anything in that my books wouldn't sell, my life coaching business would to take off, etc,; I would not make any money because I was no one, I had no name recognition.

I also realized that I feared that if I did put emotional energy into my work that I would become attached to it and I would once again be subject to the disappointment and frustration that is part of our samsara. I would no longer to able to view my work with dispassion; to say, "If it happens, great; if it doesn't, that's ok too." I believed those oxymorons were inherently inconsistent.

These two things worked in combination to hold me back and deprive me of taking joy in what I do, in what is important to me, each day. In meditating one recent morning, I was aware that there was a time when I took great joy in what I did, that I believed not only that it had value but that people would find value in it. And so I pursued and achieved goals that most people said were unrealistic.

But one day I sent my first book to an agent, who was the agent of a well-respected NPR personality with whom I had a mutual friend. That agent told me, after reading my book, that no one would be interested in what I had to say because I was no one, I had no name.

I was devastated, but I persevered. I sent the book to a well-respected journalist, a cold call, who gave me a strong endorsement. And so I continued to pursue my dream, but nothing came of it.

And so it has been with everything I've done since then. What that agent said to me turned out to be my experience. Why this difference from my former life and efforts? According to The Map the reason is that I absorbed that negativity and it became one of my false core beliefs. Somehow this pronouncement by a total stranger, but someone with authority, was enough to change how I viewed myself and my prospects. I did all the right things to have success, I went through all the motions, but the inner conviction, the faith, was no longer there. That was the energy I was sending out to the universe, and that was what I received in return.

And so today I have started a new day, fresh. I have started affirmations regarding my belief in my projects succeeding, being valued by others. I am endowing my efforts with excitement; I can feel the books selling, the requests for life coaching coming in, and my financial situation being restored.

But back to the title of this post. While I am investing this kind of energy in my work again, I remain not attached; I can honestly say, if it works, great; if it doesn't, that's ok too. I have faith in my work, but I also view it's success with dispassion.

But beware: it would be very easy to slip into being attached. Your non-attachment and acceptance must be firmly rooted.

We'll see how things progress. But I feel like I've turned another spiritual corner. How can I truly offer myself joy if I don't take joy in the work that I do, just in what surrounds me and the things I am grateful for. This is so important, as my purpose in life is to offer myself, as well as others, joy. I intend to reclaim the joy and positive energy that was in me, despite all my turmoil, for most of my life until those words of dismissal were spoken to me.

The Serenity Prayer

4/3/2021

In the simple serenity prayer, composed most likely by Reinhold Niebuhr in the late 30s - early 40s, we find the essence to a spiritual approach to life: "Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."

To insure that there is no misunderstanding of what falls in each category, I have expanded on the prayer: Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change - which is the way my life is right now at this moment; the courage to change the things I can - which is how I relate to myself and others, the thoughts I think, the words I speak, and the actions I take; and the wisdom to know the difference.

As the Buddha taught when he first turned the wheel of the dharma, the cause of our suffering is our cravings. And cravings are a result of our not accepting things as they are. They seek to change our life, whether regarding personal maters, finance, status, whatever.

Now there is nothing wrong or unspiritual about wanting to change your life in ways that do no harm to others. But when that desire is based on a lack of acceptance, which is often quite adamant, for the way things are now, that desire becomes a craving. We become attached to it. We certainly do not approach it with equanimity. And thus we suffer.

Whereas if we work to change things in our life while accepting things are the way they are because it's just the way it is, we approach that work with equanimity, with non-attachment. If it happens, great; if it doesn't happen, that's ok too.

The other aspect of the serenity prayer gets to the point that for the most part we have no control whatsoever over whether what we strive for will happen; it usually depends on the actions of others or it may just be an impossible fantasy. We don't understand the distinction between what we have control over and what we don't. And so we suffer.

What we do have control over is how we approach life, how we live life. We thus have the power to create our own reality, which is a reality free of emotion in which we know we will be ok, safe spiritually, regardless what life throws our way because we have returned home, and will always return home, to our true Buddha self and so be at peace and happy. We have the power to create nirvana for ourselves (see my posts, "Nirvana - It's Right Before Your Eyes," and "You Can Be in Control").

The reality which we typically experience, however, has been created unconsciously by our ego-mind and its emotions, judgments, cravings, and attachments. And so we live in a state of endless frustration and samsara.

The "trick" with the serenity prayer, or indeed with any efforts to make real progress on the spiritual path - like following the Noble Eightfold Path, is that until one frees oneself, or at least begins to free oneself, from the control of your ego-mind, it will not allow you to do Right anything or accept anything.

Thus, if you want to end your suffering, the focus of your spiritual work should be on freeing yourself from the control of your ego-mind. That is what will open up dharma gates for you. While freeing yourself from the control of the ego-mind is no easy matter, the path to do that is clear (see my post, "How to Free Yourself from the Control of Your Ego-Mind").

May you experience peace and happiness.

What If the Present is Bad?

3/28/2021

In Buddhism, one of the intents is to be present in the moment, because the present is the only reality. All else is thought. All else is memory or conjecture.

Being present is absolutely central to experiencing peace and happiness. Because then we are free of the endless "what ifs" that our ego-mind throws at us. Free of our cravings and attachments. Releasing all desire for our life to be different in any way from the way it is right now at this moment. Just being and experiencing the fullness of the moment.

But what if the present moment is a bad experience, even let's say, really bad. If that is your reality in the moment, how do you get past that experience, especially when the bad moment is likely to last for several moments, if not hours or days?

There are several levels of answer to this question. The first is that an experience usually happens in an instant. If the bad moment lasts for hours or days, it is because we hold on to the bad experience, we play it over and over again in our mind. We cannot let it go. This is self-torture.

We do this because we react to the experience with our emotions, especially with our core emotion of insecurity. To get out of this trap, your intent should therefore be to experience life with dispassion, free of emotion. If you experience something that is bad with dispassion, you will register what happened and then move on.

Of course, most people do not view life or their experiences with dispassion. This is not how we are raised.

To experience things with dispassion, you must practice The Heart's Embrace (see my post of that title). When you open your heart to embrace all aspects of your being and experience - past, present, and future - nothing offends. And so all internal and external struggle ceases, you know you have everything you need inside yourself to be at peace and happy, and you will allow nothing to disturb that peace and happiness.

When you are in that psychic space, you will be free of mental obstructions, which will give you the ability to experience things directly, with dispassion, free of labels, free of the intervention of the ego-mind, knowing that things are they way they are because it's just the way it is. It's all ok. And so your mind will rest undisturbed.

OK, you say. Let's say I'm able to view this bad experience with dispassion, but what do I do with that in the moment? You'll be amazed to discover that if you are really able to be present, view the experience with dispassion, and not project it's continuation or impact on the future, everything becomes manageable.

But beyond the moment being manageable, life, certainly life as a Buddhist, is not about experiencing manageability. It is about experiencing peace and happiness every moment. How do we do that in this situation?

We do that by being aware of and following through with our purpose in life, which is to offer ourselves and others joy. Yes, offering yourself joy is your purpose in life. I'm not joking. (See my post, "Offer Myself Joy!")

And you offer yourself joy by taking joy in each passing moment, regardless what is happening. Being in touch with the positive energy in your heart. Releasing all desire that your life be different in any way from the way it is at the moment. Being aware of all you are grateful for. Having compassion for yourself and loving yourself unconditionally.

These are all things that you do, actions you take, for yourself. It is not something you receive; it is proactive behavior.

Granted, this state is only possible if you have freed yourself, or are on the path to freeing yourself, from the control of your ego mind. Clearly, not an easy matter, but one of the main intents of Buddhist practice. (See my post, "How to Free Yourself from the Control of Your Ego-Mind. ")

The other thing central to taking joy in each moment, regardless what is going on, is to remember that all things are impermanent. Usually we tend to think of good things, things we like, as being impermanent and we fear the loss. But things that are difficult for us or harmful are also impermanent. One never knows what the future will bring in that sense.

As a result of having done The Heart's Embrace and so nothing offends, and you know you have everything you need inside yourself to be at peace and happy, you find faith that regardless what life throws at you, you will always be ok, safe spiritually, because you have returned home and will always return home to your true Buddha nature. And just as you are safe spiritually now in the face of whatever problem you are facing, you have faith that you will always be ok, you will always be at peace regardless.

With that faith, you've reached the final aspect of offering yourself joy, of taking joy in each moment: manifesting a state where you are at peace and happy regardless what is going one around you or to you. A state where you are free, spiritually, regardless what your physical or material status is.

This is the top of the pyramid of manifesting, the holy grail, in that it is the most basic, the most fundamental aspect to everything else you might manifest or that you have desired. For it's always at its core about being at peace and happy. It's just that our ego-mind has a very different picture of what we need to be in that state. Once you are free of its control, you view yourself and the world differently and know that you need nothing external to be at peace and happy. It all comes from within, from you heart, from your true Buddha nature.