ThePracticalBuddhist.com - The Practical Buddhist Blog - Practical Advice on Integrating the Practice of Buddhism in Contemporary Life

Crying Is Not the Release of Pain

10/12/2020

It is often said that crying is cathartic. But is it really? Crying or uncontrolled screaming is not a release of pain, it is an expression of pain. It feeds the feeling of victimization, the poor me syndrome. It is an expression of emotion, not a release of pain. And an expression of emotion only strengthens the emotion. So its impact is actually quite the contrary to a release.

Whereas when you undertake the exercise I described in my post on trauma where you put yourself in a position where your legs shake and you open up your throat chakra and the pain rises up and expresses itself, that is a controlled action. The screams that emit from your threat are not the screams of emotion. These are screams of realization of the suffering that we experienced, It is an expression of the pain from outside, not from the middle of it. This is therapeutic and allows the pain, the trauma, to heal.

Bottom line, do not give in to crying or screaming. That just weakens you further and debilitates you. Instead stop. Be in touch with the positive energy in your heart. See things through your heart, not your ego-mind. Through the positive energy and joy of your unwounded, pre-trauma heart, the neutrality of your senses, the equanimity of your third eye, free of worries and concerns, full of faith. Yes, you suffered, but that trauma is past and it is not in your best interest to allow the ego-mind to relive that trauma.

“Ah, but,” you say, “this trauma has been repeated throughout my life and will continue. It never ends.” But we do not know the future. It is indeed unknowable. The only reality is the present moment, all else is thought, conjecture. So why go there except in a masochistic way to weaken oneself, to prove to oneself that one is not worthwhile? That is what our ego-mind tells us, this is one of our false core beliefs. Stop.

“Ah, but,” you respond, “it’s important to be realistic. To face the facts.” That is indeed true. But while what happened in the past is a fact. Conjecture about the future is never a fact. It's just a trap. Free yourself from your ego-mind’s trap.

Do not seek solace in crying. Seek strength in connecting with the positive energy in your heart.

The Mind - Suffering Connection

10/6/2020

We suffer because we assume our feelings and perceptions reflect reality, that they are truth. They thus determine how we relate to ourselves and the world around us. Yet it is these very feelings and perceptions that are the cause of our suffering, not the reality of our being nor the experience itself.

The purpose of Buddhist practice in a word is to change how we have habitually reacted to our life experiences, changing an emotional reaction to a dispassionate response, and thus not suffer. The key is to free yourself from the control of your ego-mind.

The first step in this process is being aware that our emotions are a just product of our mind, that they are not a reflection of reality. Let me explain this with some real-life examples.

Facts have a basis in reality. Labels don’t. For example, if one is unemployed or not making much money, that is a fact. To label yourself a failure, however, is your ego-mind’s take on that reality. That is a dependent thought that comes from family, peers, or the larger culture.

The fact that your environment supports that label makes it no less illusory; it makes it seem very real and makes it harder to free ourselves from that perception, but it is still just a creation of our mind. One could just as easily say, for example, things just didn’t work out; that would be a dispassionate response, very different from the pejorative phrase, “failure.” Same facts, different perception, strikingly different emotional outcome.

Another example is the weather. Heat, cold, rain, snow are objective, measurable facts. Yet one person will thrive in a particular weather condition while another can’t stand it. Our reactions to the weather are entirely subjective.

What causes these differing reactions? It’s again our learned experience.

And this subjective view in turn causes many of us suffering. How often have we experienced weather we didn’t like … whether high heat and humidity or unrelenting rain or snow … which had the psychological impact of making us miserable and depressed?

What has happened is that our ego-mind has put mental labels on everything that we experience … labels that something is good or bad … which interfere with our perception of the true quality of things.

The point is that heat, rain, cold, snow, etc. are neither good nor bad … they just are. Our perception of the “lousy” weather may seem very real to us, but it’s all a function of our mind and thus illusory. Take away the labels and we can perceive the value and wonder of all types of weather.

So it is with all things in life. We cannot know the true nature of things because the labels in our mind interfere with how we perceive them.

Especially and most poignantly ourselves. Our self-image develops from our interaction with family, especially during our formative years, and later with peers and culture,. Perversely, our self-image is formed by these external actions and valuations; our view of ourselves does not flow from within.

For most of us, the resulting self-image contains negative aspects that we often deplore or even loath. We don’t respect ourselves. We are insecure beings.

How does this hurtful state of affairs come about? It is the result of human nurture, not nature, and it begins almost from the moment of birth.

Birth, being thrust out of the womb, has to be a scary experience. When an animal is born, it is typically licked all over by its mother and is always next to the mother’s warmth until weaned. A baby in our culture is not so fortunate.

Babies need to feel secure and nourished, not just when it’s convenient for us, but 24/7. But when a baby cries, his parents are often busy, or they’ve often been told it’s good for the baby to cry … like it’s never too early to teach someone the hard fact of life that you can’t always get what you want. And so the baby feels unwanted. Every time this situation repeats itself, that feeling of not being wanted is strengthened. This is not good for the baby’s development.

When the ego develops around age 2 or 3, that feeling of being unwanted is given a label … insecurity. From that feeling of insecurity, which is the mother of all our neuroses, come feelings of fear and anxiety. This becomes our default emotional reaction, throughout our life, when we want or desire something badly. Surely you have experienced such fear or anxiety.

But it’s not only acs of the omission that impact us, the actions of those we depend on or look up to have a huge impact. When children are repeatedly called bad, stupid, lazy, fat, ugly, or similar names, something that many children experience, they come to believe it because they both value the source it’s coming from and are too insecure to fight back, too insecure to do anything other than meet those expectations in the hope of being loved. And so little Johnny comes to believe that he is bad or stupid and will carry that burden throughout his life.

Also from our learned insecurity comes the habit of labeling everything we experience in a way that judges it as either good or bad. We do this because it gives us a sense of power, the power to judge. “I think this is good; I think this is bad.” The power of self-righteousness. As an emotional bonus, if we feel something is bad, we feel superior to it. What an antidote to insecurity.

This is how your ego-mind develops. This is how our brain becomes wired. The ego-mind thinks it is protecting us with its emotions and perceptions, but instead they are the cause of our suffering.

It is often said that we are not in control of our emotions; that is because they are a product of our ego-mind and we are in its control.

Ah, but you say, what about the rich and famous, the powerful? My friends, don’t be fooled. Even famous and successful people suffer because there is a part of their self-image that is insecure. They may have been told their entire life how smart or talented they are, but they know how precarious their position is and how fast and far they could fall. That is in fact what drives them, creates the craving, the obsession, to be so successful.

Being aware of this truth, that all our emotions, judgments, and cravings are a product of our ego-mind and are the cause of our suffering, is an essential part of the healing process. Think about it carefully.

Dispassion - Obstacles and Options to Achieve It

9/21/2020

From a practical perspective, the key to ending suffering is to experience all things directly, with dispassion, free of labels, free of the intervention of the ego-mind. The key word is “dispassion.”

Why is that key? Because if we don’t view things with dispassion, with equanimity, that means that our emotions are engaged and that means suffering … whether it’s from frustration, anger, fear, whatever.

Most of us know, not just from the teachings but from our own awareness, that our emotions, our feelings and perceptions, cause us suffering. But we just cannot let them go. The usual reason stated for our inability to let go these harmful habit-energies is that our ego-mind is so strong, its roots so deep within us, it’s all we’ve ever known, that the ego-mind won’t let us experience free of its perspective.

And that’s true. But why does the ego-mind have such power, beyond the fact that it’s roots go deep within us?

The answer lies, I realized while meditating recently, in the famous statement by Descartes, “I think, therefore I am.” In our culture, it is our thoughts, our perspective on everything that has become the essence of who we are. Combine that with the fact that we are all insecure because of our early life experiences, and you end up with people having the need not just to think their thoughts, but to expound on them, whether to themselves or to others; and so to exert control. And it is that desire to control that leads to frustration and suffering.

We can’t just let things be if we find it disagreeable; we have to voice our feelings. We can’t just let things be if we find it provokes fear in us; we have to voice our feelings. We can’t just let things be if causes us anger; we have to voice our anger.

And we don’t just voice our feelings once. We tend to obsess about our feelings, the righteousness of our thoughts, and voice them over and over. The more we go on, the more agitated we get. The result? Only frustration, suffering.

The Buddha could not have spoken more succinctly when he said, “To be rid of the conceit ‘I am’ – That is the greatest happiness of all.” Because only then is one truly free. This does not mean that one has no sense of self, of who one is. It means that you don’t attach to it. That the capital “I” is missing; the ego has lost control.

How does one achieve that? My blog posts, books, and videos are full of suggestions. They boil down to understanding that our feelings and perceptions cause us suffering. But that they are all a product of the ego-mind, not our true self. And so say to them, “Not me!” While reconnecting with our true Buddha self, our heart.

Another, less radical, way regarding perceptions and judgments (not emotions such as fear) is to be aware of your sense of self, both feelings and perceptions and your true self, but say that you have no need for the world to conform to your feelings and perceptions. Remove the attachment, the capital “I.” Things are the way they are because it’s just the way it is, and that’s ok, recognizing that your past way of giving voice to your feelings and perceptions did nothing but make you miserable and weaken you. This isn’t about changing your ideals or thoughts; it’s about changing what you do with them. If you can do that, you will respond to the world around you with awareness and dispassion. And you will not suffer in this regard.

The other reason why we don’t react to things with dispassion is that there are things about ourselves that we don’t feel good about; things that typically go back to childhood trauma. And so when something touches that sensitive spot, we react with emotion, not dispassion.

Here there is no way out of suffering other than freeing yourself from control of your ego-mind, saying “Not I!” and connecting with your true self, your heart. And specifically freeing yourself from your childhood trauma through the exercises I have mentioned in my blog posts, including opening up your heart to embrace all aspects of your being and experience. Only then will you be able to love yourself unconditionally, to have compassion for yourself and so not respond to such experiences with emotion.

Finally, the experience of a friend reminded me that there is another way to be dispassionate: being present. First of all, let me define again what being present means … having no thought about the past, the future, or even today. One is just in the moment.
The techniques for being present allow one to, for the moment at least, be free of the control of the ego-mind by focusing on something.

While the other steps I’ve discussed here to achieve dispassion involve directly freeing oneself from the control of your ego-mind, or at least removing the attachment, the capital “I,” from what you do, being present does not involve a direct confrontation with the ego-mind. Think of it as a stealth attack.

When we meditate, we are present in the moment because we focus on our breath, on chanting, or on a point on the floor several feet in front of us. During the day, we are present by likewise focusing entirely on what we are doing at the moment. Whether it’s a menial task, whether we’re doing something creative, whether we’re reading, whether we’re taking a hot shower … whatever it is … it means being totally focused and aware of what we are doing and taking pleasure in it, without any thought of what the next moment, that day, or the future will bring. Focusing is key because the mind cannot be two places at the same time; when you are focused, your ego-mind has to wait in the wings.

When we are in that present space, faith and mind are not separate and not separate are mind and faith, nothing offends, and so free of mental obstructions we experience all things directly, with dispassion.

In all cases, remember, the key is dispassion.

Fearlessness

9/15/2020

Why it so important to be free of fear? Because fear immobilizes us. It prevents us from doing what we need to do. It alters our perception of reality. It weakens us emotionally. It can be devastating.

We know intellectually that fear, like all our feelings and perceptions, are just a product of the mind. There may in fact be some rational reason to fear something, but the fear we feel is not rational, it has grown exponentially into an out-of-control, irrational monster inside us.

There are many practices that are taught to free ourselves from fear. Some like Pema Chodron talk about embracing fear. I must say I find that difficult. Embracing your trauma is one thing: the things that happened to you, and that helped make you the person you are. But embracing fear is embracing a misplaced emotional reaction. I can embrace the fact that I am fearful and have compassion for myself, but embracing the fear itself, no.

Some talk about examining the fear, picking it apart. Sometimes when we do that we will find that the fear we experience is totally irrational. But frequently, as I’ve just stated, the are very rational grounds for us to be fearful. So that doesn’t work for me either.

I advocate another path … being aware that fear is just a product of the mind, that it is not part of your true self, and so say, “Not me!” Imagine experiencing something that you fear and reacting to it with dispassion, saying, “Yeah, that’s not good, but I’m going to be ok.” See the experience through your heart, not your mind. If you feel fear rising, never voice your fear and so give it force. Do what Anna does in The King and I; she whistles a happy tune. A great way of diverting the mind from fear, as it cannot be two places at the same time. Use that moment to connect with your heart.

Our thoughts have great power. It you read my post, “The Power of Giving Voice and Thought,” you will see how this power can be in our control. How we can keep from being led by our habit-energies. The key is to be aware and to stop when fear rises. Only we can choose to stop ourselves, rather than be carried away by the force of emotion.

When one is free of fear, then one is fearless. Which means not just being free of fear, but as a result being able to proceed in directions one chooses without worrying about the outcome, being brave, courageous. That is being fearless, and it opens the world to you.

Avatars - Their Usefulness

9/3/2020

There are many people who have a hard time with the concepts of your true Buddha nature, or your true Buddha self. These are abstract concepts; even though you can define their qualities, they don’t seem to have much relationship to ourselves as we know ourselves.

Since being able to connect with your true Buddha nature, your true self, is of critical importance in ending your suffering, this is a major barrier. There are two ways to make palpable this abstract concept.

The one is knowing that your true Buddha nature is your heart, your unwounded, pre-trauma heart. That is something that most people can wrap their heads around. In common discourse the heart is often referred to as the source of purity, of innocence, of joy.

Another way to make it palpable is through an avatar. For me, it was the photo of me as a toddler which came to me one day as I was meditating and I knew right then that that was my true Buddha self. Whenever I refer to my true Buddha self in my mantras, I visualize that toddler.

The reason why this avatar works so well is because it is me, at a very young age, and the photo projects the inner qualities that I associate with my true Buddha self, my unwounded heart … love, light, faith, trust, compassion, humility, gratefulness, joy, and contentment. As would be expected for a photo of a toddler, the qualities of strength, courage, and wisdom, which are also part of my true Buddha self, are snot apparent from that photo.

There is something about having a real photo of me as an innocent, unwounded being that makes connecting to my true Buddha self much easier. I would therefore encourage you to seek out such an avatar for yourself. If you don’t have any photos of you as a toddler, then try and call up from your memory images of you as a toddler.

Saying “No” to Negative Thought

8/27/2020

I listened to a spiritual video recently that was about the power of thought. One of the points made was that if you don’t want something in your life, don’t give it any thought. Which is to say, don’t focus your mind on that something.

That is good guidance. If we give thought to something we fear or something which makes us angry, often it’s obsessive thought, then we will suffer because of the thought we give it. Again it is our emotional reaction to the thing that makes us suffer, not the thing itself if viewed dispassionately.

The first thing to be said is that while one doesn’t want to give such things the focus of thought, it is important that one be aware of them. Awareness requires no thought, just knowledge.

Why is it important to be aware that something angers you or that you fear it? Because that awareness tells you that this thing should be given no thought, it is a psychic trap, but also that if possible it is to be avoided.

Why is it so difficult not to give such things thought if we want to end our suffering? Yes, these are products of the ego-mind and it’s a truism that the ego-mind is very powerful and its roots go very deep within us. But what can one say beyond that that would be helpful in resolving not to entertain thought about these things.

Let’s look first at anger. Anger, and its related emotions, are interesting because they always, or almost always, contain a feeling of self-righteousness, that one is better than whatever one is angry about. And so even though the expression of anger causes us suffering, especially when it comes in a tidal wave, in a perverse way it gooses us up because we are taking a stand on our self-righteousness. We like what its says about who we are relative to others. One could say that anger is the height of ego expression. It is thus ripe for our true self to say to it, “Not me!” (See my post, “Not Me - Peeling Off the Layers of Our Ego-Mind.”)

If we look at fear, it is an emotion based in insecurity, the very opposite of feelings of self-righteousness or self-worth. It may have a foundation in the evolutionary response to something dangerous, but in modern man it has morphed into a response to things which are dangerous mostly in our minds because of the impact something had in our life as a child and which we fear it may have now on our adult lives. It is based on a lack of acceptance that our lives and the world are the way they are because it’s just the way it is. And a lack of faith that we will be ok regardless what life throws our way because we have returned home and will always return home to our true Buddha nature.

One can examine fears, pick them apart, and find that many fears may be irrational, but many fears are very rational if one accepts the premises we typically live by. But if as an adult one gives one’s life and will over to the care of your true Buddha nature, then all fears are irrational because one will always be ok, safe, spiritually, regardless what happens. It is thus also ripe for our true self to say to it, “Not me!”

The point here, as in so many posts, is that one needs to be free of the control of your ego-mind and connected to your true self, your heart. As this state is difficult to achieve, however, it’s important always to remember that progress on the path is incremental. Even achieving some freedom from the ego-mind and some connection with your heart, will have real benefits to your experience of life.

When a Heart’s Desire Is Commandeered by the Ego

8/22/2020

In seeking to live a life free of suffering, we learn to say “no” to the guidance of our ego-mind and look instead to our heart, our true Buddha self, for guidance. Because any guidance coming from the heart will be pure, untainted by the ego-mind’s learned feelings and perceptions, we can count on it being in our best interest. As the Buddha said, our true self would never cause us suffering.

But the fact that you are following your heart’s desire doesn’t mean you’re home free. Beware. If you approach a heart’s desire with a lack of equanimity or with an intent that is not skillful, you will form an attachment to it, it will become a craving, and so it will become an unskillful desire and you will suffer.

Let me give some examples. You desire to help others, which certainly sounds like a heart’s desire. But if it arises from the intent to create an image of oneself as being good, or if that intent attaches itself to the desire, then the desire becomes unskillful. It is tainted and will cause you suffering.

Desiring to have friends is also a skillful desire. But again, if it either arises from dissatisfaction with ones life as it is now, if one is running from what is … from loneliness … or if that lack of equanimity attaches itself to it, then the desire is unskillful. Whereas, if one is content with ones life as it is now, accepts that it’s just the way it is, and desires to have friends, then the desire is skillful.

In short, desires that are in furtherance of, or in keeping with, the five Precepts and are not tainted by unskillful origination or lack of equanimity are Right desires. They can and indeed should be acted upon for they move us along the path, they increase our happiness; they are skillful.

But things are not always so clear; beware that your ego does not play tricks on you. For example, you may be having difficulty fulfilling guidance you’ve been given by your heart. As a result, you feel that you are not being there for yourself, you are letting yourself down. And it makes you feel a failure.

The original guidance may have been pure, there was no unskillful origination or lack of equanimity in the desire. But you have received that guidance against a background of a lack of acceptance of your life as it is now. And that lack of equanimity has attached itself to your heart’s desire. Your ego-mind has commandeered it.

To ensure that one’s desires remain or become Right desires, it is essential that you truly accept your life as it is now. If your acceptance is self-deception, your desires will not be based in equanimity and will become cravings. Since this is a major change in attitude for most of us, ideally one would hold off on acting on any desires until one was assured that one had embraced acceptance and had nothing but equanimity within one. But since holding off till that point is not very realistic, one must be very mindful and at the first red flag of frustration or any other sign of attachment, stop and meditate on what is happening.

Emptiness - What Does It Mean?

8/16/2020

It is an oft expressed maxim in Buddhism that all things … objects, feelings, perceptions … are empty. The concept of emptiness causes confusion for many who are trying to walk the path and so causes a barrier to their progress. Yet there is no cause for confusion if there is no misunderstanding.

The confusion comes because people think the concept of emptiness means that the object doesn’t exist. But that is an incorrect understanding of emptiness.

Buddhism definitely credits the palpable world as being real. All the things and the people you see exist; they are real.

The concept of emptiness does not refer to the reality of the objects themselves, but on one level to the way in which we perceive those objects … namely through the five skandhas: appearance of form, feelings, perceptions, mental formations, consciousness-ego. And how we perceive things are empty of intrinsic (or inherent) existence. NOTE: This wording of the five skandhas is my wording, based on my translation of the Heart Sutra (see the article on the Heart Sutra on this website).

This is the most meaningful aspect of emptiness to us because it has the potential to impact us in a very practical way. If the way we think about things and ourselves, our thoughts, are the cause our suffering, and yet are empty of intrinsic existence, what does that tell us?

All the emotions and perceptions we have of things are all a product of our mind; they are in our head. Thus we suffer not because of the actual things we experience, but the way in which our ego-mind reacts to those experiences. Whether it’s someone treating us poorly, whether it’s a government policy we think is wrong, the facts are the facts, but we suffer because of the way we react to them. There is a different way of responding to the facts, dispassionately, that will not cause suffering.

“OK,” the reader may say, “but why do we say that our emotions and perceptions are empty of intrinsic existence?” Because those feelings and perceptions are dependent on our learned experience. They don’t exist in the object or on their own. Different people with different experiences thus have different feelings and perceptions about the same thing. They are certainly real in the sense that they without question exist, but they are nevertheless empty of intrinsic existence. The awareness of their just being a product of our mind is what empowers us to say, “Not me!” and end our suffering. (See my post, “Not Me - Peeling Off the Layers of Our Ego Mind.”)

So when Buddhist teaching says that our thoughts and feelings are empty of intrinsic existence, it means that our perception is dependent on our life experience, how we have been taught, how our science defines colors, etc. And because our power of perception is thus limited, we cannot perceive the real world as it is through the faculty of our mind.

The reason why we have the goal of freeing ourselves from the control of our ego-mind may be to end our suffering, but that happens because we are then able to see ourselves and all things as they “really” are. For when we are able to see things directly, with dispassion, free of labels, free of the intervention of our mind, things are the way they are because it’s just the way it is.

And so our mind rests undisturbed. And when our mind rests undisturbed, nothing in the world offends, and when no thing can give offense, all obstructions (to seeing reality), all objects of thought cease to be. At this point true faith pervades the mind, we know we have everything insides ourselves to be at peace and happy, all’s self-revealing and clear without exerting power of mind.

The concept of emptiness, of dependent origination, however, goes beyond how we feel about ourselves or things, which is why I put the word “really” above in quotes. It affects the status of all things. To take a classic example, the cup you hold in your hand definitely exists. We experience the cup as a solid, firm article; that is the appearance of form. That is the limit of our unaided senses. We know, however, through modern science and technology that the cup is actually a combination of molecules that are constantly in motion. The cup’s form is dependent on the interaction of these molecules as a result of the kiln process. The cup as we perceive it has no intrinsic existence. Reality is not what it seems.

On a deeper level, truly all things on this earth and in the universe are of dependent origination. All things are dependent on something else. And nothing remains constant. This can most easily be seen when looking at the weather. We may experience a heat wave because a distant ocean current has warmed up and that has warmed up because … the connections go on and on reaching into the universe. Likewise, the rock you sit on is the product of many actions across the geologic ages. It may look permanent, but not only has it changed over the ages, it will continue to change because of the things that will impact it. Again, it has no intrinsic existence.

In this sense, truly nothing has inherent existence. Again, that does not mean that these things are not real, that they don’t exist. It just means that they don’t have any inherent existence; everything is dependent on something else. And all things change.

Feeling Off? - Adjust Your Attitude

8/8/2020

The other day I spent most of the day feeling off. I didn’t feel good. Nothing specific was bothering me. I just felt off.

At some point in the afternoon, however, I became aware again that I have the ability to offer myself joy regardless what is going on. And so I immediately looked at the sky, the clouds, and the nature around me, and took pleasure in my experience of those things. I reconnected with the positive energy in my heart. my faith. I released all desire that my life be different in any way from the way it was at that moment. And I was aware of all I was grateful for.

What I did was simply change my focus, change my attitude. And with that the rest of my day changed and I was happy and content. This is living proof of the maxim, nirvana is right here, right now; it’s right before your very eyes.

Nirvana does not mean that everything is wonderful … that would be looking at the world through rose-colored glasses, not seeing the world as it is, which is the Buddhist objective. Rather nirvana means the end of suffering, of being able to experience peace and happiness.

Because so many have a mistaken idea of what nirvana is, I am copying here my post, “Nirvana - It’s Right Before Your Eyes.”

For many people, nirvana is mistakenly thought of as a Buddhist heaven. A place somewhere in the spiritual cosmos where there is no more pain or suffering.

But just as Buddhism is all about being present in the moment, nirvana is also in the here and now. It is, actually, nothing more than a state of mind. Let me quote from several Buddhist sources.

First, a verse from the Heart Sutra:

“Bodhisatvas, abiding always in perfected wisdom,
Their minds have no fears or obstructions,
Therefore they have no fears or obstructions;
Free of confused illusions,
They reach nirvana.”

The "only" door that needs to be opened to reach nirvana is to have no fears or obstructions, to be free of confused illusions. And one achieves that by abiding in perfected wisdom, which is principally to be aware of the emptiness of all five skandhas ... appearance of form, feelings, perceptions, mental formations, and consciousness-ego, and experiencing things directly without the intervention of those ego-driven thoughts.

Next, two verses from an ancient Chinese poem, “Affirming Faith in Mind.”

“Do not reject the sense domain.
For as it is, whole and complete,
this sense world is enlightenment.”

“Not only here, not only there,
truth’s right before your very eyes.”

The point being made here is that when you see the sense world “whole and complete,” meaning as it truly is, with dispassion, free of the intervention of your thinking mind, free of labels, because you are aware of the emptiness of all five skandhas, that is enlightenment. Nirvana is being able to see things as they really are.

Finally, verses from a poem by the 18th century Japanese Zen master Hakuin, “In Praise of Zazen.”

“The cause of our sorrow is ego delusion.
From dark path to dark path
we’ve wandered in darkness-
... The gateway to freedom is zazen samadhi-”

“What is there outside us,
what is there we lack?
Nirvana is openly shown to our eyes.
This earth where we stand
is the pure lotus land,
and this body the very body of Buddha.”

The point here needs no further explication. Nirvana is right here, right now, if we are only able to see things clearly, just as they are, free of the intervention of our ego-mind, free of labels.

In all three poems, nirvana is clearly in the here and now, with the pre-condition to experiencing it being an awareness of the emptiness of all five skandhas and being free of the intervention of our ego-mind. (As noted in many of my posts, we can never be free of our ego-mind; it is a part of us. But with awareness, we can be free of it’s intervention; when it arises we can choose not to engage it but just watch it subside.)

This is by no means easy to achieve - an understatement if ever there was one - but it is something which is possible and indeed only possible in the here and now. Remember that this is not a flash of light thing for most of us. It is an incremental process as we walk the path, with our slowly gaining more moments in more days in which we are aware of the emptiness of all five skandhas and experience things directly as they really are, with dispassion, free of all obstructions ... all labels, all fear and anxiety, doubt and confusion, anger, negativity, and lust. Thus we experience nirvana bit by bit, and for this we are grateful.

The Limits of Rational Thought

8/1/2020

I am a great believer in the power of rational thought, which is to say thought that is free of the ego-mind’s intervention. But I have learned that when addressing another’s feelings and perceptions, cravings and attachments, fear and anxiety, rational thought is virtually useless. Worse, it’s actually counterproductive because the person’s ego-mind reacts with such vehemence to rational thought, that it makes the situation even more volatile, increasing the person’s suffering.

There a time and a place for rational discussion; when someone is in a rational, quieted space. It is not when you are faced with someone who is having an emotional reaction to something, or is even just expressing these emotions and so you come across as questioning their judgment or feelings, let alone if they are experiencing a meltdown or psychic attack.

So how do you help someone who is suffering in this way. You simply be there for that person, be a calm, steady, reassuring force. That will not be acknowledged, you may even be attacked for not “helping,” but your presence nevertheless will make a difference while the person is in the maelstrom.

This is not easy. It is very difficult to witness someone you care about suffering so acutely and knowing that there is almost nothing you can do to help the person at that moment. Especially since you know exactly what you think the person needs to hear … the real facts, rational thinking. That may be true, but not at that moment.

Also, be aware that in most cases, the person is well aware of the real facts and the rational thought to be applied. It’s just that when they are subjected to the ego-mind’s attack, they are lost and carried away by the force of those emotions. But when they are through with the attack and are back to their rational self, they will know. And if not, that is when you can share with them your thinking about the matter.

But beware. Make sure that your rational thought is indeed rational, free of your ego-mind’s intervention. And make sure that when you think your words will help, you are looking at it from the person’s perspective, understanding his needs. It is not unusual for us to think we know what someone needs or what would be in their best interest and be totally wrong, because we are thinking of what we would need if that person were us, not what that person needs given his background, who he is

Proceed with humility.