At the core of all our suffering is our refusal to accept our life as being the way it is right now at this moment, as well as in the past. This adamant refusal to accept our life at this moment and as it has been is the source of our cravings which, as the Buddha said as he began turning the wheel of the dharma, is the cause of our suffering.
Reflecting this truth, the well-known Acceptance Prayer states that, “Acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. When I am disturbed it is because I find some person, place, thing, or situation - some fact of my life - unacceptable to me. And I will find no peace until I accept that my life is exactly the way it is supposed to be right now at this moment.”
Most people, including many who are walking the Buddhist path, would push back against this guidance of acceptance. Besides the fact that the ego-mind rebels at the idea of acceptance, the individual typically has several rational reasons for rejecting acceptance, all based on a misunderstanding of acceptance and its implications.
First, acceptance does not mean resignation. Resignation is a negative concept and feeling. It means that something is undesirable but there’s nothing you can do about it, not just now but for the foreseeable future.
Acceptance on the contrary is a neutral concept and feeling that enables you to have a positive outlook. That is because it is non-emotional; you are not making a value judgment of the situation being bad or good, it just is the way it is. And so you can have a positive outlook.
Further, acceptance is definitely not inconsistent with trying to change the situation in the future, even starting tomorrow. The key is that because you have accepted something at this moment, you are able to approach your efforts at changing the situation with equanimity—to honestly say that, “If it happens, great; if it doesn’t happen, that’s ok too.” And so your desire to change does not become a craving. And so your desire does not cause suffering. Acceptance is thus a key component of experiencing peace.
Because of the connection in many people’s mind between acceptance and resignation, it is important to also note that acceptance is not a sign of weakness. Rather it is a sign of strength because you have made a decision to control your ego-mind rather than allow it to control you as it has for your entire life—not allowing its habit-energy to cause you suffering but rather choosing a different perspective that will lead to a sense of freedom and peace.
Given the centrality of acceptance to anyone’s efforts to walk the path and find peace—as it is in the Serenity Prayer—I urge everyone to sit with yourself and explore whether you practice acceptance. And, if not, how you can incorporate that practice into your meditation and your daily life.
As an aid to your practicing acceptance, see my post, ”The Heart’s Embrace”—the practice that I consider key to my being able to free myself from fear and anxiety caused by what happened in the past, what's happening in the present, and what might happen in the future, and thus accept my life as it is and was and will be..
Reflecting this truth, the well-known Acceptance Prayer states that, “Acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. When I am disturbed it is because I find some person, place, thing, or situation - some fact of my life - unacceptable to me. And I will find no peace until I accept that my life is exactly the way it is supposed to be right now at this moment.”
Most people, including many who are walking the Buddhist path, would push back against this guidance of acceptance. Besides the fact that the ego-mind rebels at the idea of acceptance, the individual typically has several rational reasons for rejecting acceptance, all based on a misunderstanding of acceptance and its implications.
First, acceptance does not mean resignation. Resignation is a negative concept and feeling. It means that something is undesirable but there’s nothing you can do about it, not just now but for the foreseeable future.
Acceptance on the contrary is a neutral concept and feeling that enables you to have a positive outlook. That is because it is non-emotional; you are not making a value judgment of the situation being bad or good, it just is the way it is. And so you can have a positive outlook.
Further, acceptance is definitely not inconsistent with trying to change the situation in the future, even starting tomorrow. The key is that because you have accepted something at this moment, you are able to approach your efforts at changing the situation with equanimity—to honestly say that, “If it happens, great; if it doesn’t happen, that’s ok too.” And so your desire to change does not become a craving. And so your desire does not cause suffering. Acceptance is thus a key component of experiencing peace.
Because of the connection in many people’s mind between acceptance and resignation, it is important to also note that acceptance is not a sign of weakness. Rather it is a sign of strength because you have made a decision to control your ego-mind rather than allow it to control you as it has for your entire life—not allowing its habit-energy to cause you suffering but rather choosing a different perspective that will lead to a sense of freedom and peace.
Given the centrality of acceptance to anyone’s efforts to walk the path and find peace—as it is in the Serenity Prayer—I urge everyone to sit with yourself and explore whether you practice acceptance. And, if not, how you can incorporate that practice into your meditation and your daily life.
As an aid to your practicing acceptance, see my post, ”The Heart’s Embrace”—the practice that I consider key to my being able to free myself from fear and anxiety caused by what happened in the past, what's happening in the present, and what might happen in the future, and thus accept my life as it is and was and will be..
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