Truly listening to others is a most challenging task. It's relatively easy to hear what they're saying, to focus on their words.
But to accurately understand what they are saying, what they're trying to express is another matter. Why? Because everything we hear is filtered by our ego-mind before it passes on to our brain to process and respond.
Which is saying that what we hear is interpreted first by our perspectives and feelings; this is not a neutral analysis. Thus we do not hear what the speaker is trying to say; rather we hear how our ego-mind interprets those words. The two may sometimes be the same, but most often that is not the case.
The result? Often frustration and suffering. The person speaking feels like he or she is not being heard. And especially among loved ones or friends, that is very painful. Whether the speaker expresses this or just is silent, the result is a separation of the two people.
If this happens in a professional setting, the result is not necessarily painful, but it does result in miscommunication, which can have a negative impact both on the relationships involved and the project they are working on.
If you are often accused of not listening, or if you feel without it being said that that is the reaction to your response to what was said, you need to accept that this is a failure, a weakness, on your part. The question is, how can you improve your listening.
The answer is that you hear accurately if you have freed yourself from the control of your ego-mind. Unless you can listen with your heart, your true self, your ego-mind will continue to distort the meaning of what someone says to you.
And since that—freeing yourself from the control of your ego-mind—is the focus of this blog because that is how you end your suffering. you'll understand when I say that this is a major challenge. If this is your first exposure to this blog, I would suggest that you read the post, "How to Free Yourself from the Control of your Ego-Mind," which briefly states the steps in the process and refers you to other posts that go into particular matters more deeply.
But to accurately understand what they are saying, what they're trying to express is another matter. Why? Because everything we hear is filtered by our ego-mind before it passes on to our brain to process and respond.
Which is saying that what we hear is interpreted first by our perspectives and feelings; this is not a neutral analysis. Thus we do not hear what the speaker is trying to say; rather we hear how our ego-mind interprets those words. The two may sometimes be the same, but most often that is not the case.
The result? Often frustration and suffering. The person speaking feels like he or she is not being heard. And especially among loved ones or friends, that is very painful. Whether the speaker expresses this or just is silent, the result is a separation of the two people.
If this happens in a professional setting, the result is not necessarily painful, but it does result in miscommunication, which can have a negative impact both on the relationships involved and the project they are working on.
If you are often accused of not listening, or if you feel without it being said that that is the reaction to your response to what was said, you need to accept that this is a failure, a weakness, on your part. The question is, how can you improve your listening.
The answer is that you hear accurately if you have freed yourself from the control of your ego-mind. Unless you can listen with your heart, your true self, your ego-mind will continue to distort the meaning of what someone says to you.
And since that—freeing yourself from the control of your ego-mind—is the focus of this blog because that is how you end your suffering. you'll understand when I say that this is a major challenge. If this is your first exposure to this blog, I would suggest that you read the post, "How to Free Yourself from the Control of your Ego-Mind," which briefly states the steps in the process and refers you to other posts that go into particular matters more deeply.
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