As I stated in my earlier post on this topic, loving yourself unconditionally is critical to your maintaining peace and happiness. And the suggestions made in that post regarding how you go from not loving yourself unconditionally to loving yourself remain valid.
However, I recently became aware through an incident that occurred that there was a weak link in my chain of self-love. I was having a conversation with a friend and reacted to something important he presented in a very unfeeling way, which was very upsetting to him, Why?
When I sat with myself, I realized that I was still getting emotional juice when I created something, whether writing or music. I didn't just react that the work was good; I was hungry for acknowledgment of its worth. Why? Because I was still caught in the web of needing validation from others, feeling that I was smarter or wiser, in order to feel loved. And if I needed that to feel loved, I needed that to in turn love myself. This is not conducive to humility, which is why I reacted to my friend in such an unfeeling way.
As I went through my mantras during the next morning's prayer/meditation, I became aware that while I asked the Lord to grant me the courage to love myself unconditionally, that did not go deep enough. I did have a mantra that asked that I be given the courage to know that I am somebody without the validation of others, without being smarter or wiser. But knowing I am somebody is not being loved or loving myself. So I changed the mantra to having the courage to know that I am loved (whether by myself or others) and be filled with love without being validated, etc.
That may not sound like much of a difference, but its impact was significant. And when I listed the things that inviting my Buddha nature to be my subconscious filled me with, I added "love." I also asked the Lord to remove my feelings of fear and anxiety of not being smarter or wiser, of not being loved by others. The combination of these changes in my prayer/meditation resulted in my feeling during that day that a huge burden had been lifted from me; I felt lighter.
The other thing I realized is that I can radiate joy (one of my mantras) only if I love myself and am filled with love. This is essential to changing the direction off your energy flow, which is another essential element of experiencing peace and happiness. (See my post, "Change Your Life by Changing the Direction of It's Energy Flow.")
I have continued with my amended practice every day, and periodically throughout the days. For this change to become the new default way I relate to myself will require much repetition over a period of time. New synapses need to be built in the brain. As with other areas where I have changed how I relate to myself and others, I am aware that I am changing a paradigm of a lifetime.
If you want to live your life in peace and happiness, loving yourself unconditionally is critical. That together with the Serenity Prayer: "Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, which is the way things are right at this moment, and the serenity to just be. And the courage to change the things I can, which is how I relate to myself and others—the thoughts I think, the words I speak, the actions I take." The words in italics are my exposition of the prayer.
May you live your life in peace and happiness.
However, I recently became aware through an incident that occurred that there was a weak link in my chain of self-love. I was having a conversation with a friend and reacted to something important he presented in a very unfeeling way, which was very upsetting to him, Why?
When I sat with myself, I realized that I was still getting emotional juice when I created something, whether writing or music. I didn't just react that the work was good; I was hungry for acknowledgment of its worth. Why? Because I was still caught in the web of needing validation from others, feeling that I was smarter or wiser, in order to feel loved. And if I needed that to feel loved, I needed that to in turn love myself. This is not conducive to humility, which is why I reacted to my friend in such an unfeeling way.
As I went through my mantras during the next morning's prayer/meditation, I became aware that while I asked the Lord to grant me the courage to love myself unconditionally, that did not go deep enough. I did have a mantra that asked that I be given the courage to know that I am somebody without the validation of others, without being smarter or wiser. But knowing I am somebody is not being loved or loving myself. So I changed the mantra to having the courage to know that I am loved (whether by myself or others) and be filled with love without being validated, etc.
That may not sound like much of a difference, but its impact was significant. And when I listed the things that inviting my Buddha nature to be my subconscious filled me with, I added "love." I also asked the Lord to remove my feelings of fear and anxiety of not being smarter or wiser, of not being loved by others. The combination of these changes in my prayer/meditation resulted in my feeling during that day that a huge burden had been lifted from me; I felt lighter.
The other thing I realized is that I can radiate joy (one of my mantras) only if I love myself and am filled with love. This is essential to changing the direction off your energy flow, which is another essential element of experiencing peace and happiness. (See my post, "Change Your Life by Changing the Direction of It's Energy Flow.")
I have continued with my amended practice every day, and periodically throughout the days. For this change to become the new default way I relate to myself will require much repetition over a period of time. New synapses need to be built in the brain. As with other areas where I have changed how I relate to myself and others, I am aware that I am changing a paradigm of a lifetime.
If you want to live your life in peace and happiness, loving yourself unconditionally is critical. That together with the Serenity Prayer: "Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, which is the way things are right at this moment, and the serenity to just be. And the courage to change the things I can, which is how I relate to myself and others—the thoughts I think, the words I speak, the actions I take." The words in italics are my exposition of the prayer.
May you live your life in peace and happiness.
RSS Feed
