Many of the posts on this site are about freeing yourself from the control of your ego-mind, from the destructive thoughts that overwhelm you and cause you suffering. Why do these thoughts have such power?
I often say how deeply rooted these thoughts are in your psyche, but that still leaves the question. Even when we are aware of how destructive, debilitating, these thoughts are and have the intent to say "no" to them and choose a different response, they overwhelm whatever defenses we have erected to change our modus operandi.
I should make clear that even forming the intent to say "no" to these thoughts is a huge challenge. Our ego-mind does not like us to question its authority and it will fight you with everything at its disposal.
The first thing to realize is that these destructive thoughts, these attitudes, this self-image, have been a part of us for basically our whole lives. From the time we were born, feelings of insecurity have developed in us because of our interaction with others—whether it was our often well-meaning and loving parents, our siblings, or the world around us—and from those feelings of insecurity, all the other negative thoughts about ourselves and our relation with those around us formed.
Our ego-mind has told us that the way we think about ourselves and the world around us protects us, keeps us from being hurt, whereas in fact they do just the opposite. "How," you may ask, "could the ego-mind feel that having negative thoughts about yourself—like being stupid or ugly or bad—protect you?"
A good question. We feel such thoughts protect us because 1) we believe the labels, and 2) by being aware of our shortcomings, we do not venture into areas, projects. relations that would hurt us.
But in fact, by not venturing into areas—with strength—that would show us a different aspect of ourselves, we are hurting ourselves, because we are not growing. What the ego does do is throw us a double-whammy, because while it causes us to feel inferior, it causes us to reach out to things that would prove the falseness of our self-perception, and when we inevitably fail, we feel even more defeated.
The ego-mind is teaching us a lesson. But we fail not because of something inherent in us, but because we do not undertake these efforts from strength, we venture forth out of weakness and that is what causes us to fail.
Another reason why these thoughts are so powerful is that in some sense many of the thoughts make us feel self-righteous or powerful. For example when we get angry—which is often a very debilitating emotion—we like being angry because we feel self-righteous. And so it is very hard to stop anger, even when we are aware that it tears us apart.
The final reason why these thoughts are so powerful is that we do not have within ourselves a sufficiently grounded and powerful counterforce to allow us to have the ability to say "no" to the ego-mind with consistency. Many of you go to temple, meditate occasionally, or read spiritual books, but most people supposedly walking the path have not really made a commitment to follow the path, the teachings of the Buddha.
I wrote a post once called, "Do You Really Want to Be At Peace and Content?" Before you say, "Of course" read the post. The point is that achieving incorporating the Buddha dharma in your life with faith and discipline is something that most people—including those that are walking the path and going to temple—do not want to do. They like the idea of peace and contentment, but they are not willing to follow the clear path that Buddhism lays out for achieving that end. Because it is inconvenient, requiring us to change almost all of our habit-energies.
And so the Buddha nature within them, the child of the Universe within them, never has a chance to grow, let alone grow strong. The seeds do not receive the necessary watering, resulting in there being no internal force to stand up against the howling winds of the ego-mind. And so we continue to suffer.
I often say how deeply rooted these thoughts are in your psyche, but that still leaves the question. Even when we are aware of how destructive, debilitating, these thoughts are and have the intent to say "no" to them and choose a different response, they overwhelm whatever defenses we have erected to change our modus operandi.
I should make clear that even forming the intent to say "no" to these thoughts is a huge challenge. Our ego-mind does not like us to question its authority and it will fight you with everything at its disposal.
The first thing to realize is that these destructive thoughts, these attitudes, this self-image, have been a part of us for basically our whole lives. From the time we were born, feelings of insecurity have developed in us because of our interaction with others—whether it was our often well-meaning and loving parents, our siblings, or the world around us—and from those feelings of insecurity, all the other negative thoughts about ourselves and our relation with those around us formed.
Our ego-mind has told us that the way we think about ourselves and the world around us protects us, keeps us from being hurt, whereas in fact they do just the opposite. "How," you may ask, "could the ego-mind feel that having negative thoughts about yourself—like being stupid or ugly or bad—protect you?"
A good question. We feel such thoughts protect us because 1) we believe the labels, and 2) by being aware of our shortcomings, we do not venture into areas, projects. relations that would hurt us.
But in fact, by not venturing into areas—with strength—that would show us a different aspect of ourselves, we are hurting ourselves, because we are not growing. What the ego does do is throw us a double-whammy, because while it causes us to feel inferior, it causes us to reach out to things that would prove the falseness of our self-perception, and when we inevitably fail, we feel even more defeated.
The ego-mind is teaching us a lesson. But we fail not because of something inherent in us, but because we do not undertake these efforts from strength, we venture forth out of weakness and that is what causes us to fail.
Another reason why these thoughts are so powerful is that in some sense many of the thoughts make us feel self-righteous or powerful. For example when we get angry—which is often a very debilitating emotion—we like being angry because we feel self-righteous. And so it is very hard to stop anger, even when we are aware that it tears us apart.
The final reason why these thoughts are so powerful is that we do not have within ourselves a sufficiently grounded and powerful counterforce to allow us to have the ability to say "no" to the ego-mind with consistency. Many of you go to temple, meditate occasionally, or read spiritual books, but most people supposedly walking the path have not really made a commitment to follow the path, the teachings of the Buddha.
I wrote a post once called, "Do You Really Want to Be At Peace and Content?" Before you say, "Of course" read the post. The point is that achieving incorporating the Buddha dharma in your life with faith and discipline is something that most people—including those that are walking the path and going to temple—do not want to do. They like the idea of peace and contentment, but they are not willing to follow the clear path that Buddhism lays out for achieving that end. Because it is inconvenient, requiring us to change almost all of our habit-energies.
And so the Buddha nature within them, the child of the Universe within them, never has a chance to grow, let alone grow strong. The seeds do not receive the necessary watering, resulting in there being no internal force to stand up against the howling winds of the ego-mind. And so we continue to suffer.
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