Dear Hanh Niem,
I often have INTENSE crushes on guys. Sometimes I pick up on a "christ/buddha" type of energy that is terribly attractive. I decided to work on my own energy, will myself to emanate love to the point that others can notice it. Cool, right? Well, I have a new crush. I don't feel the buddha/christ energy in him, but I can tell that he senses it in me. He's terribly attractive (like, SICKENINGLY gorgeous) but I don't want to like someone based on him just being hot. He's not a bad guy, I'm just concerned that for me it's just a physical attraction. Two questions I need advice on: 1. How do I stop desire? It's really difficult to have control of my mind when it's in a CONSTANT state of desire. 2. How do I attract someone with the buddha/christ energy that I'm trying to attain myself?
Overwhelmed by Desire
Dear Overwhelmed by Desire,
Before I answer your questions, remember that the Buddha taught that one of the most powerful sources of our suffering is the craving caused by our lust, our sensual desire. Freeing yourself from that craving is a real challenge.
Regarding your first question, how do I stop desire, basically, you need to get to a point where you accept yourself and the world around you as it is. Not an easy thing, but there is a clear path. As for freeing yourself from the constant pressure of your thinking mind, it's a question of becoming aware and understanding that everything in your mind is empty of anything real, it's all learned experience … a reaction to reality not a picture of reality. I would advise reading my blog posts that deal with desire and the constant pressure from our thinking mind as well as one of my books, which go into much greater detail about the problem and the process.
As to how you attract someone, all you should do is be yourself. All this talk about buddha/christ energy is misplaced and a long, long way off. If you’re serious about wanting to end the pull of desire and your thinking mind, you have to start with the basics and build a very disciplined practice. The Buddhist path is not something that one traverses overnight.
Peace is something which can come earlier in one’s practice, and that’s certainly something that will emanate. But it will be a long time till you emanate the “buddha/christ energy” and I doubt that any of the men you've been attracted to emanate that energy either. Until you or others reach a point in your practice close to the first stage of enlightenment, that energy will be buried beneath your ego’s learned experience and thus cannot emanate.
I often have INTENSE crushes on guys. Sometimes I pick up on a "christ/buddha" type of energy that is terribly attractive. I decided to work on my own energy, will myself to emanate love to the point that others can notice it. Cool, right? Well, I have a new crush. I don't feel the buddha/christ energy in him, but I can tell that he senses it in me. He's terribly attractive (like, SICKENINGLY gorgeous) but I don't want to like someone based on him just being hot. He's not a bad guy, I'm just concerned that for me it's just a physical attraction. Two questions I need advice on: 1. How do I stop desire? It's really difficult to have control of my mind when it's in a CONSTANT state of desire. 2. How do I attract someone with the buddha/christ energy that I'm trying to attain myself?
Overwhelmed by Desire
Dear Overwhelmed by Desire,
Before I answer your questions, remember that the Buddha taught that one of the most powerful sources of our suffering is the craving caused by our lust, our sensual desire. Freeing yourself from that craving is a real challenge.
Regarding your first question, how do I stop desire, basically, you need to get to a point where you accept yourself and the world around you as it is. Not an easy thing, but there is a clear path. As for freeing yourself from the constant pressure of your thinking mind, it's a question of becoming aware and understanding that everything in your mind is empty of anything real, it's all learned experience … a reaction to reality not a picture of reality. I would advise reading my blog posts that deal with desire and the constant pressure from our thinking mind as well as one of my books, which go into much greater detail about the problem and the process.
As to how you attract someone, all you should do is be yourself. All this talk about buddha/christ energy is misplaced and a long, long way off. If you’re serious about wanting to end the pull of desire and your thinking mind, you have to start with the basics and build a very disciplined practice. The Buddhist path is not something that one traverses overnight.
Peace is something which can come earlier in one’s practice, and that’s certainly something that will emanate. But it will be a long time till you emanate the “buddha/christ energy” and I doubt that any of the men you've been attracted to emanate that energy either. Until you or others reach a point in your practice close to the first stage of enlightenment, that energy will be buried beneath your ego’s learned experience and thus cannot emanate.
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