Blog Archives

Deflating the Ego

3/28/2013

Since most of us practicing Buddhists are not enlightened, we must struggle with the fact that despite having a disciplined practice and meditating every day, most of each day ends up being spent on auto-pilot regardless how determined we are in the morning after meditation that this day we will be more aware. If we are indeed aware for 20% of the day, we’re doing well.

I catch myself constantly, whether it’s noticing that I’m walking faster, rushing, when it’s not at all necessary rather than savoring each moment and experiencing the touch of my foot on the ground or whether it’s not interacting with strangers in a positive rather than neutral manner. The major issues of my ego and my samsara are safely in the hands of my true Buddha nature; my ego no longer arises regarding these matters. But as regards the small, everyday aspects of life, I am often not aware, I am on auto-pilot, and so my ego takes advantage of my being asleep.

The other morning while meditating, I realized that since I cannot realistically expect to be aware 24/7. or even all waking hours, what I needed to do is deflate the ego if I want to be at one with all people and things at all times ... not just when I’m aware, at one with my true Buddha nature. This is different from surrendering the ego and turning my will and my life over to the care of my true Buddha nature, which I’ve done; this is changing the nature of the ego for all those moments in the day when I am not aware, not one with my true Buddha nature.

When I was growing up, to counter/cope with the terrible feelings of insecurity and abnormality from which I suffered, I strove to excel in those areas where I could and erected an internal image of myself as being superior to or better than others. While this was a somewhat successful coping mechanism and brought me a successful professional life, it was a terribly counter-productive isolating self-image that just reinforced my negative feelings of being apart from and not being liked or desired by others.

What I realized the last few months, when on many occasions I observed, either while still in the moment or later when meditating, that the protective shell I had erected was still in place, separating me from the people who I came into contact with each day and creating a negative space between us, was that it was not enough to be aware of this issue and to strive to always be in conscious contact with my true Buddha nature. For all those moments when I was not aware, I needed to deflate my ego.

I know that I am not better than others. I am not superior to others. Each of us is who we are because of our own learned experience. We all have our strengths and our weaknesses. We all suffer, although the exact nature of our samsara varies. We all are impacted in countless negative ways by the culture in which we live. And yet underneath all this detritus, the true Buddha nature exists within each of us.

What I did, at first purposefully, was when I was out and about, I would look at the people who were in the same space and feel my oneness with them. Not because I saw them through the eyes of my true Buddha nature, but because my ego knew that I was not better or superior to them. I saw them as human beings and applied none of the labels to them that my ego-mind would normally have automatically applied. I of course had no way of knowing who these people were, what their life was. But I knew that they suffered ... sometimes it was very visible ... and that buried under all the layers of their learned experience was their own true Buddha nature. Sadly unknown to them.

One day I on purpose went someplace where I knew that I would come across lots of people who my ego-mind would feel disdain towards. Again I retrained my ego and had a pleasant time observing and interacting with these strangers. I implemented the practice of, “offer joy, experience joy.”

Several days later I happened to be out and about, again in a place where my ego-mind would typically rebel, but this time, with no conscious effort or purpose, I felt myself observing my fellow mall shoppers without the intervention of thought. I felt at one with them; I felt “not two.” It was a very good feeling. There were no obstructions. And so nothing agitated me. I did not feel apart.

I may be fooling myself, but my experience that day and others that have occurred since say to me that I have altered my ego, even at this advanced stage of my life, so that even when I am not aware, not one with my true Buddha nature, I will act and feel more as if I were. (Or, perhaps I am aware, but not aware of it!) As with all things in one’s practice, time will tell. But I will continue retraining my ego each day as part of my meditation practice.

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Beyond Acceptance

3/24/2013

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While I was on vacation recently, there was an incident that really pushed my buttons. As you’ve heard me say many times, regardless how far along one is with one’s practice, even if you have turned your will and your life over to the care of your true Buddha nature, your ego is still a part of you, waiting for the opportunity ... a weak, unguarded moment ... to rise up and take control of the situation.

For the first time in years, I felt real anger if not rage. Thankfully, I was aware and felt this ego emotion rising within me. When I did, I said to myself, “It’s just the way it is.” And I returned to a state of calm. But it was a neutral kind of state ... I wasn’t agitated, but I felt no positive energy, I did not experience/savor the moment. (This was before my meditation and post on savoring each moment ... the “Boredom” post.)

The next morning when I meditated, this experience flashed through my mind and I let it sit there, observing it. And I realized that although I say a mantra every morning about sending the world love and compassion, I only do that abstractly or to people who do not face to face push my buttons.

I was reminded once again of the wisdom of the Buddha’s teaching. By holding on to these negative feelings, not being at one with such people, all I was doing was hurting myself by feeding my samsara and causing me to suffer. What I needed to do instead is be in conscious contact with my true Buddha nature and send such people love and compassion. I know that these people were a product of their own learned experience and like all of us were pretty much programmed by that experience to do what they do. Regardless their power or wealth, they suffer as do all of us.

As I sat and observed the incident, I let it play out but this time sending them love and compassion. What a difference I felt. Instead of just feeling calm, I felt the glowing warmth of positive energy. All traces of negativity vanished.

The challenge to implementing this practice in a real life situation is, as with all things spiritual, being aware. But if I am aware of the emotion as it arises, as I was that day on vacation and is often the case, then I will project love and compassion.

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Step #4: Came to believe that all our feelings and perceptions are learned, that they are just a product of our ego-mind. And that our ego-mind is not our true self. Instead we knew that our true self is our heart.

3/21/2013

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Knowing that all your feelings and perceptions are just a product of your ego-mind, that your ego-mind is not your true self, and that your true self is instead your heart are the central keys to freeing yourself. This knowledge and awareness is what takes away the power of your thoughts, perceptions, feelings ... your ego-habit energies and gives you the strength to say "no" to your ego-mind. Because this issue is so central to making real progress on the path, my Vietnamese Zen teachers pounded away on this theme every week.

Coming to understand that your feelings and perceptions are just a product of your mind, that they have no basis in reality, is difficult. Or better put, we don't want to believe that.

Let me clarify. Facts are real; things happen. It's how we react to those facts, those events, that are a product of our mind and not real. For example, if one is unemployed or not making much money, that is a fact. To label yourself a failure, however, is not reality. That is a dependent thought that comes from family, peers, or the larger culture. The fact that your environment supports that label makes it no less illusory; it makes it seem very real and makes it harder to free ourselves from that perception, but it is still just a creation of our mind based on our learned experience.

As difficult as that may be to grasp, to understand that our ego-mind is not our true self, and thus all the emotions, judgments, cravings and attachments that flow from our ego-mind are not our true self ... this is beyond difficult, it is unsettling. All our lives we have identified ourselves with our ego-mind, and now we learn that the ego-mind is not our true self.

Because of its critical nature, I have written on this subject in both The Self in No Self (the chapter, “Behind the Clouds the Sky is Blue”) and in Scratching the Itch (the chapter, “Discovering the Emptiness of Thought”).

The easiest way to see the truth in this maxim that our feelings and perceptions are a product of our ego-mind is a practical one … look at the experiences of your everyday life. For example, think of almost any element of weather … heat, cold, rain, snow. These are very objective, measurable facts. Yet one person will thrive in a particular weather condition while another can’t stand it. Our reactions to the weather are entirely subjective and change from person to person.

What causes these differing reactions? It’s our learned experience. Whether it’s the weather we grew up with, whether it’s how our parents or peers reacted to the weather ... a variety of learned inputs form our individual response to the weather.

And this subjective view in turn causes many of us suffering. How often have we been in a weather situation that we didn’t like … whether high heat and humidity or unrelenting rain or snow … which had the psychological impact of making us miserable and depressed?

What has happened is that our learned experience has caused us to put mental labels on everything that we experience … labels that something is good or bad … which interfere with our perception of the true quality of things. When a sensory image goes from the eyes, nose, or ears to the brain, it is these labels that impact how the images are received. Our conscious mind does not receive them neutrally.

The point here is that heat, rain, cold, snow, etc. are neither good nor bad … they just are. And they are all an essential part of our environment, of our ecological system. Our perception of the “lousy” weather may seem very real to us, but it’s all a function of our mind and thus illusory, not a reflection of reality. Take away the labels and we can perceive the value and wonder of all types of weather, with the possible understandable exception of natural disasters. But even in the case of a disaster, having no labels and understanding that it's just the way it is changes how we react to it.

And so it is with all things in life. We cannot know the true nature of things because the labels in our mind interfere with how we perceive all things, including ourselves.

Especially ourselves. Most of us have been stuck with an image of ourselves which in important aspects is negative and which we therefore deplore or even loath. We don’t respect ourselves. Even famous and successful people suffer because there is part of their self-image that is insecure and which they loath. That is what drives them, creates the craving, to be so successful.

How do we come to understand that these feelings and perceptions are not our true self? The Buddha said, "If it causes you suffering, it is not you, it is not yours, it is not your self." Remember your work on Step #1, remember how much suffering you acknowledged was caused by your feelings and perceptions. They are therefore not your true self.

Having worked this step we thus realize that this image, this person, that we sometimes loathe is not our true self. It is an amalgam of emotions and perceptions that we have been taught, that have been imprinted upon us. by our life experiences. The same is true for how we relate to the world around us.

Affirming that this “person” is not our true self is an essential part of the healing process of this step. A monk taught me one way of affirming that this "person" is not my true self. He would recite his cravings and emotions, and after each, he would snap his fingers with a flourish and say, "Not me!"

Knowing and understanding this truth intellectually can take one far along the path. But ultimately, in order to progress further, one needs to experience this truth directly, from within oneself through meditation. As related in my post, "Proof of the Nature of Mind - Fear, Ego, and Buddha Mind," only then are the creations of our ego-mind known for what they are and they lose their power.

But if our ego-mind is not our true self, what is? It is critical to fill that sudden void with something positive. The answer to that question is that our true self is our true Buddha nature. And our true Buddha nature is our heart. That is again hard for many people to wrap their hands around.

Your heart is nothing but purity and peace and harmony. There is no fear, no hatred, no anxiety, no judgment, no craving in your heart. Those are all product of the ego-mind which have impressed themselves on the heart and burdened it, that have wounded you. Touch your heart, hold it lovingly, and know you have found your true self, you have rediscovered your home.

While I mouthed these words for years, I did not really connect with my true self. Perhaps because it seemed foreign.  Then one day when I was meditating, I saw a photo of me as a smiling toddler in my mind’s eye. Happy, open, unwounded, smiling for no reason at all other than just being. I knew at that moment that was my true Buddha nature, and I wept, tears rolling down my cheeks.

Later I learned of an exercise which I encourage you to undertake to more completely connect with your true self.  Imagine yourself in a room. And imagine finding your true self in that room; for me it was my smiling toddler. Say to it, “I’m coming home.” See it reach it’s hand out to you. Take that hand and let your true self lead you out of the room into the world.

Every time I am in some negative situation, and I feel that smiling toddler beside me and my hand in his, I feel his positive radiance course through me and outward. I am filled with light regardless what is happening around me.

Finally, we also acknowledge that all things are impermanent. As the Buddha taught, all things rise and fall. It is an inescapable fact of life. Permanence is illusion. And so we realize the futility of attaching to whatever we are seeking to attain because even if we attain it, we will suffer knowing its impermanence.

Bringing our acknowledgment that our feelings and perceptions are just a product of our mind into our daily lives, connecting instead with our true self, our heart, throughout the day, and being aware of the impermanence of all things, we enable ourselves to be present each moment, free of the intervention of our thinking mind. And thus be able to receive all that the present moment has to offer, be grateful, and find happiness in the moment..

For a fuller discussion of this topic, see either of the books referenced earlier in this post as well as other posts on being present.

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Boredom - Taking Joy in Each Moment Revisited

3/18/2013

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In previous posts about the teaching of taking joy in each moment, I related what I had discovered through meditation was preventing me from doing so ... labeling activities as chores, my spirit being weighed down by the past, the pain and suffering that I am aware of around me ... and how meditation showed me the way past those barriers. These new practices have helped me be present and find nourishment in all situations, that is, when I am aware.

Recently, though, a friend related to me how Native Americans used to view each sun as a new sun. When I meditated the next morning, that thought came to me and as it sat there I had an epiphany. Beyond all our learned experience that has formed our ego and created our samsara, separating us from our true Buddha nature and all others, I realized that there is a further factor that causes our suffering ... the inevitable sameness of our lives and how we react to it.

I say this is beyond learned experience because you see it even in toddlers. When a toddler first manages to go to the toilet by himself, or tie his shoes, or any of the countless tasks that must be learned to take care of yourself, the child is so happy, excited, and proud. But after a relatively short time, he takes the learning of and accomplishing that activity for granted. It no longer brings him joy. He just does it, automatically. I see no way that that change is a learned experience, except possibly that his parents made such a fuss over the first few times he was able to do the task and then didn’t notice at all. Probably the parents’ actions just reinforced his natural reaction that the ability is no big deal once learned.

Regardless of ones walk of life, regardless whether rich or poor, our lives have an inevitable sameness to them, at least in the macro patterns of our lives. The one exception is possibly a research scientist who is constantly exploring something new, looking to discover what has not been discovered before. But there too, there are many stories of scientists who have made breakthrough discoveries early in their lives (there’s a saying that if you haven’t made a breakthrough discovery by the time your 30, you never will), and for the rest of their lives they either coast on that fame or just aren’t able to come up with something new. And so even their lives become stale in their minds-eye.

I and others have experienced the same thing in writing. When you are writing something new, say a book, it is endlessly interesting and engaging because it is new. But when you get to the editing process ... which can go on and on ... it gets to be deadening because you no longer feel like you’re doing something creative. It is no longer fresh.

You may think that some people’s lives are always exciting ... like entertainers ... but if you think about it or if they are honest, their lives are the same every day, regardless who they are performing for. It’s only the “fix” of applause and often the fix of drugs that prevents them from imploding from boredom.

As with most things, there is nothing inherently wrong with desiring to experience something new. The problem is that when that desire does not come from a place of equanimity it becomes an unskillful desire, a craving. That is what allowing ourselves to sink into a state of boredom does.

And so regardless what we are doing ... whether it is a chore, a repetitive task, something we love ... we have lost the ability to savor the moment and we need to rediscover that. You’ll note I changed the phrase from “to take joy” to “to savor.” That’s because I realized that even as I defined “joy” in an earlier posting and even though that is the teaching I received, that word is not really the appropriate one ... certainly not in many circumstances. “To savor,” in the sense of to experience something, however, is I think a more descriptive and applicable phrase for the practice we should aspire to.

Reflecting further on savoring the moment, I understood that you can’t do that when you are on auto-pilot, because obviously you are not aware. Instead, we must do things deliberately, consciously. Which means that we can’t follow our normal habit-energy of rushing everything we do ... whether it’s cleaning the dishes, or walking from one room to another, or doing something on the internet. All our activities need to be done more slowly and deliberately.

After my meditation, I consciously went about my activities slowly and deliberately. And when I caught myself walking at my normal pace in the house, I slowed down. The difference was nothing short of amazing. When I walked slowly and deliberately, I was aware of the sensation of walking, of my feet hitting the ground a certain way. And so it was with every task that morning ... I was aware of the sensation of the activity and I was aware of the miracle of nature and science that allowed the activity to take place.

The awareness of the miracle of nature and science is an important part of experiencing each moment fresh. I spoke of this when I wrote about taking joy in each moment in my book, The Self in No Self, but I didn’t understand at the time how to open myself up to that awareness.

The experiencing of sensation, of savoring the moment, makes sense. It’s like eating food. If you rush eating, no matter how wonderful the food is, you will not really experience the food. To savor your food, one must eat slowly.

But later in the day, when I finished doing some work on the internet, I said to myself, “I certainly didn’t savor those moments.” And so I went back on the internet to see how I could savor those moments, and I realized two things. Here too, and probably especially on the internet, we do things with a focus on speed. But the other key to savoring being on the internet is the scientific miracle of the whole thing ... how you type in a search and instantaneously results appear on your computer screen, at the same time as millions of people around the world are doing the same thing. How it all works is mind-boggling.

When I wrote in an earlier post that while I was present while doing some chores ... my mind wasn’t elsewhere ... I wasn’t PRESENT in the Buddhist sense in that I wasn’t engaged in what I was doing, I diagnosed the reason as being that I placed the label “chore” on these tasks. But as I went through my first day of savoring the moment, I saw clearly that the deeper reason was that I was bored with this activity, as I was with all my activities, not just chores, because of their daily sameness. I was not doing them deliberately, and I was not savoring each moment. Being present in the moment has a deeper meaning than being present at a point in time, one’s mind not being elsewhere. It means being open to the realness, the sensation, of what you are experiencing at the moment ... whether it be a nourishing sensation or pain and fear.

And so I feel like I have opened a door to experiencing life in a very different way, beyond the doors that I had already opened in my practice. I know that implementing this change, like awareness, will not happen 24/7 quickly. It is something that will develop incrementally; it will build upon itself and grow.

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The Coexistence of Ego and Buddha Nature

3/16/2013

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In my writings and in my posts, you may have been surprised at the frequency with which my ego arises and at times impacts what I do. You may feel that this is very strange for someone who puts himself out there as a teacher to others who are trying to walk the Buddhist path. If I have turned my will and my life over to the care of my true Buddha nature, why does this keep happening? If I have surrendered my ego to my true Buddha nature, why does this keep happening?

The answer is that the ego always remains a part of us; it never goes away. Even the Buddha was tempted frequently by his ego in the form of Mara, and he stated, speaking of himself, that “a Perfect One’s feelings of pleasure, pain or equanimity are known to him; his perceptions are known to him; his thoughts are known to him.” The difference is that he, as an fully enlightened one, was always aware of them as they arose, was aware of them presenting themselves, and watched as they subsided, not having engaged them.

When one begins to walk the path, one has no awareness of ones feelings, perceptions, or thoughts. That is to say that one does not observe them, one has no distance from them, they and you are one.

But as one walks the path, and one begins through meditation to understand the illusory nature of all things, the dependent origin of all things, and the impermanence of all things, and begins to train oneself to observe yourself and everything around you without the intervention of thought, one begins slowly to become aware of your feelings, perceptions, and thoughts in the sense of being able to observe them for what they are. Initially one isn’t sufficiently aware to see them as they arise and only after the fact, during meditation, is one aware what has happened and has a teachable moment. But as the years go by and your practice deepens, your awareness and your ability to observe increases.

Think of there being a sliding dial representing the balance between your ego habit-energies and your true Buddha nature. In the beginning, the dial is all the way to the left ... your true Buddha nature is completely obscured by your ego and learned experience and you are not aware of anything. Then as you walk the path the dial slowly moves to the right ... you begin to become more discerning of your feelings, perceptions, and thoughts and the difference between what your learned experience, your ego, is telling you and what your true Buddha nature is saying to you.

It is a very slow, incremental process for most of us. In the beginning, even on the occasions when we are aware, we often don’t have the strength to deny our ego habit-energies what they want. As your practice deepens, however, one becomes both more aware and one begins to have the strength provided by your true Buddha nature to say, “no,” to your ego just as the Buddha said, “no,” to Mara. To be aware of your ego habit-energies arising and just let them subside.

But until one becomes fully enlightened one is not completely free of one’s ego. Even individuals who have reached the initial stages of enlightenment, such as the stream-enterer, are still subject to aspects of their ego habit-energies. That is why even teachers as advanced as Pima Chodron freely admit to their being subject on occasion to feelings of aggression and other aspects of their ego. It’s not a failing, although as Pima says it feels embarrassing. Here all these people come to her for teaching and wisdom, and she feels, for example, aggression towards her granddaughter after spending the day with her!

We are all human. To live is to be subject to the pulls of our ego. To walk the path is to slowly free oneself from that pull and follow the voice of your true Buddha nature. Even if one never reaches full enlightenment, the awareness we obtain by practicing the wisdom of the Buddha dharma improves the quality of our lives immeasurably, incrementally freeing us from our suffering.

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Beyond Awareness

3/12/2013

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It is a universal experience for most who walk the Buddhist path that being aware throughout the day is a huge challenge. Whether you are a beginning practitioner or someone who’s been walking the path for years, almost every day one experiences after the fact, often while meditating, that one has had decidedly unmindful moments during the day, in addition to just not being aware, conscious of our breathing, for large parts of the day. (If you’ve been reading my blog posts, you’ll know that I include myself in this group.)

In the chapter, “Building a Platform of Serenity,“ in my book, The Self in No Self, I suggested increasing ones awareness during the day by stopping periodically and watching your breath, saying to yourself, “breathing in, I am aware I am breathing in; breathing out, I am aware I am breathing out.” Another suggested tactic is to use the Korean mantra “Ma-um,” which means “mind.” When you say “ma” you relax your body, when you say “um” you relax your mind, again on the in and out breath. This practice puts you in an instant meditative state, increasing your sense of peace and centering yourself.

While this is a good and useful practice, it has several weaknesses. First, you have to be aware enough to stop, which is a challenge not to be understated. Second, let’s say you do this two or three times a day; while this instant zazen is better than just being mindful while sitting on one’s cushion, I found that it really doesn’t result in a substantial increase in the amount of time that one is aware or mindful, so strong is the pull of our ego and the distracting nature of our daily activities.

Further, while this practice works well for the purpose intended ... helping to build a platform of serenity ... it does not take you to the next step necessary to change your reaction to people and events from being habit-energy driven to being driven by your true Buddha nature.

And so I thought of another tactic, which has proven to be more successful in all respects. Every hour on the hour, literally, I would stop and watch my breathing for a few (3-5) breaths. At the same time, I went deep within and renewed my conscious contact with my true Buddha nature. I felt it embrace me and I turned my will and my life over to it. (NOTE: For the second part of this suggested practice to work, one must have reached a point in one’s meditation practice where you have found the gate to going deep within yourself, past your ego and learned experiences, past your thoughts, to discover your true Buddha nature. See the post “The Path from Peace to Joy,” 1/12/2013 )

What I found is that this practice has substantially increased my periods of awareness during the day. Because not only was I aware every hour on the hour, I was conscious of the passage of time so as not to miss the next hour, and so I was mindful and present many times during the intervening 60 minutes as well.

The combination of being more mindful throughout the day and having more frequent conscious contact with my true Buddha nature throughout the day has resulted in a state beyond awareness ... a general increase in a feeling of well-being, of a lightness of spirit. Which enables me to offer joy to others more consistently and thus experience joy,

While this practice may strike one as overly mechanical in its nature, you will find that to be the case for only a period of time ... for me, the first few days. After that, I stopped looking at my watch and just automatically stopped and applied the practice numerous times throughout the day ... it became part of the rhythm of my day. This was especially useful during a recent trip which presented many potential stressors and which I was able to navigate without much frustration or agitation because of my increased awareness and my increased conscious contact with my true Buddha nature.

Another lesson in practical Buddhism.

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How to Desire Yet Not Crave?

3/1/2013

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The Buddha taught that craving is one of the afflictions that cause us suffering. To crave what one does not have can be the result of various things, including mass marketing, but first and foremost not accepting our lives as being the way they are now and were in the past. It has certainly been a major cause of my suffering. And the root of craving is desire.

I refer to desires that become cravings as “unskillful desires,” thereby implying that there is such a thing as a “skillful desire.” Yet the concept of a skillful desire, a Right desire is not found in traditional Buddhist teaching. Typically, the two words … desire and craving … are equated, even though in Pali as in English, they are two separate words with different meanings.

Several years ago, however, I happened to hear a series of dharma talks on tape given by a learned student of the Buddha dharma, Larry Yang of San Francisco, on this very topic. It made sense to me, it fit with the dharma, and I felt it was very helpful in making ones way along the path. And so, I want to share my understanding of that teaching with you.

As a Buddhist, the five Precepts … not killing, helping others, refraining from sexual misconduct, speaking and listening with loving kindness, and not consuming things which are harmful … are an essential element of ones meditation practice and form a core guidance on how to live a Right life. We know that vast numbers of people on this earth do not follow these precepts, and not only do they suffer for it, but those who they abuse suffer as well. Indeed, most of us can point to many moments in our own past and even occasions in the present when we did not act in accordance with the Precepts.

Can one, as a Buddhist, “desire” to address this source of suffering, both by directly helping those in need and by spreading the Buddha dharma and bringing the benefits of its teaching to more people? Can we desire, for ourselves and others, a life that is in keeping with the Precepts? What about work … can we not desire to help others through our work, in ways both large and small? In general, can we desire things that are consistent with the Five Precepts? Is this not what engaged Buddhism is about?

It was with much surprise that I recently discovered that the Buddha as well as Larry Yang would say, “yes.” Listen to what the Buddha said:

What is right effort? Here a bhikkhu awakens desire for the non-arising of … unwholesome states, the abandoning of arisen unwholesome states, the arising of wholesome states, and the perfecting of arisen wholesome states, for which he makes efforts, arouses energy, exerts his mind, and endeavors. Bhikkhu Nanamoli, The Life of the Buddha, BPS Pariyatti Editions, 1992, p.239

If that is not support for the concept of Right desire and engaged Buddhism, I don’t know what is.

But there is one major caveat to this teaching on skillful v unskillful desires. And that caveat is that if such a desire has an unskillful origination either because of intent or lack of equanimity, then the desire becomes unskillful and a craving (or to use the Buddha’s phrasing, an unwholesome state).

Let me give some examples. Desiring to help others is a skillful desire, but if that desire arises from the intent to create an image of oneself as being good, then the desire becomes unskillful. Indeed the unskillful intent in this case indicates that one is not really interested in helping others.

Desiring to have friends is a skillful desire, but if that desire arises from dissatisfaction with ones life as it is now, if one is running from what is … from loneliness … then the desire becomes unskillful; it arises from a lack of equanimity. Whereas, if one is content with ones life as it is now, accepts that it’s just the way it is, and desires to have friends, then the desire is skillful.

Desiring to have a sexual relationship in a physically and psychologically healthy way is a skillful desire. But if that desire becomes obsessive, then the desire becomes unskillful because it arises from a lack of equanimity.

So, desires that are in furtherance of, or in keeping with, the five Precepts and are not tainted by unskillful origination are Right desires. They can and indeed should be acted upon for they move us along the path, they increase our happiness; they are skillful.

But beware that your ego does not play tricks on you. It is critically important to be mindful of the arising of desire and to be aware of its origination. To ensure that one’s desires remain or become Right desires, it is essential that you truly accept your life as it is now. If your acceptance is self-deception, your desires will not be based in equanimity and will remain cravings.

In order to not fall into this trap of self-deception, we need to give our acceptance an opportunity to take root before we engage in any desires, even potentially skillful ones. This is after all a major shift for us after spending most of our lives not accepting. And as I wrote in an earlier post (“12 Steps on the Buddhist Path”), we need to recognize that our craving for things is basically an addiction … we feel we need them to be happy … and so we need to follow the practice of 12-step programs and commit to not entertaining any of our desires/cravings for a period of time … however long it takes until you can honestly say that you accept yourself and your life as it is right now.

Now someone might say that despite the fact that Bhikkhu Nanamoli translated Right Effort using the word “desire,” such “good” desires are not desires at all … a desire is something obsessive, it controls our life, it by definition causes suffering. Certainly most desires or wants fit that definition. But I would counter that a desire is simply wanting something that is not. So while the skillful desire I have defined is not harmful, it is nevertheless a desire. Indeed, if one is far along in ones practice and is free of ego, such a desire can result directly from ones true Buddha nature rather than be the result of a choice one makes.

Desire is not in and of itself a harmful thing. It is the nature of a specific desire or its origination that renders it a harmful craving rather than Right.

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