We all are in the habit of making goals for ourselves on all sorts of things. Goals make us feel good because we want to know what we’re trying to achieve and that motivates us.
Goals, however, often cause us frustration and suffering because we get attached to the end point and either the goals themselves or the time frame or way we saw reaching the goals were unrealistic. This is a common human experience.
The other day while talking to someone about this issue, I had a different thought of how to approach the tasks we set ourselves. Instead of making goals, focusing on the end point, or even interim end points. talk about the direction that you wish to go.
What difference will that make? The only way you can see yourself as a failure or being frustrated would be if you don’t undertake any effort at all. If you work on the project, then you are going in your intended direction. How long it will take or whether you face challenges or what is the end point is not in the equation or expectation. Your mind will nevertheless ask the child’s classic question, “When are we getting there?” Your responsibility is to respond, “That’s not the point,” and not take the bait.
It seems so simple. There really is nothing else to be said. But the psychic benefit of removing a major source of frustration and suffering is potentially significant. Try transforming your goals in this way and see the difference it makes to your peace and happiness.
Goals, however, often cause us frustration and suffering because we get attached to the end point and either the goals themselves or the time frame or way we saw reaching the goals were unrealistic. This is a common human experience.
The other day while talking to someone about this issue, I had a different thought of how to approach the tasks we set ourselves. Instead of making goals, focusing on the end point, or even interim end points. talk about the direction that you wish to go.
What difference will that make? The only way you can see yourself as a failure or being frustrated would be if you don’t undertake any effort at all. If you work on the project, then you are going in your intended direction. How long it will take or whether you face challenges or what is the end point is not in the equation or expectation. Your mind will nevertheless ask the child’s classic question, “When are we getting there?” Your responsibility is to respond, “That’s not the point,” and not take the bait.
It seems so simple. There really is nothing else to be said. But the psychic benefit of removing a major source of frustration and suffering is potentially significant. Try transforming your goals in this way and see the difference it makes to your peace and happiness.
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