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End of Suffering Cheat Sheet

3/30/2014

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I know the title of this post must seem very odd, but there is so much that’s written out there, including my own writing, that goes on and on about the process, or that discusses different aspects of the process in different writings, that I thought it would be helpful to just lay out in one place, in a simpler almost-outline form, what the process is.  Each step in the process may be very challenging and take an extended period of time to achieve, but at least the steps, the path, will be clear.

Let’s start first with the endpoint ... Nirvana.  Yes, nirvana!  As I said in my post, “Nirvana - It’s Right Before Your Eyes,” it’s not some spiritual heaven or impossible goal, but something in the here and now.  As the teachings I cite make clear, it is a state of mind ... being free of the intervention of your ego thinking-mind.  Then you are free of all fears and obstructions, free of all confused illusions, free of all cravings, able to experience things directly just as they are, and your mind rests undisturbed.  You are at peace and are open to experiencing happiness.

Right away you probably feel some push-back.  Yes, you want to be free of suffering, at peace and happy, but give up everything that has defined you?  It's one thing to be free of fears, but free of your cravings?  You now understand the fundamental challenge in walking the path!

And so, before going any further, it is important to affirm why you are embarking on this spiritual journey.  
This can't be lip service.  It must come from your heart, your gut.  ​

Ask yourself what is most important to you, what you value most.  If the answer is not immediately "peace and happiness" then continue asking "why" regarding each answer you receive. Even if you initially answer something like "money" or "security," when you go deeper eventually you will arrive at the core, which is the yearning for peace and happiness.


This is important, because you will be met with lots of challenges and obstacles while walking the path, it is not a walk in the park, and your knowledge of why you are doing this helps both overcome those challenges, or if you are pulled from the path, get yourself back on it.  Until you can affirm that your peace and happiness is what's most important to you, you will not go far on the path because your cravings and emotions will continue to dominate you.  

An important note:  Being at peace and happy, free of cravings, does not mean existing in some static space with no desires, no goals.  As you will learn, what it means is having skillful desires and goals that come from a place of equanimity, not dissatisfaction or unhappiness.  It's being able to say, "If it happens, great!  If not, that's ok too."


A further important note:  The ego thinking-mind is the part of your mind that places labels or value judgments on things.  It is also the part of your mind that endlessly seeks answers about the future, “what if ... ,” like a gerbil in perpetual motion.  It is not the part of the mind that decides how most efficiently to get from point A to point B, or weighs the merits of different procedures.  These are factual questions, they have nothing to do with ego.  Whereas value judgments and wanting are all about ego, our learned experience about how we feel, or how we are supposed to feel, about something.  I wish I could come up with a different phrase that wouldn’t require this explanation, but so far I haven’t been able to.  

So the question becomes very specific ... how does one become free of the intervention of your ego thinking-mind?  I believe that there are three stages on this path:  building a platform of serenity, coming to a deep understanding of the truths of the Buddha dharma, and, knowing that the choice is yours, complete working the 12 steps on the Buddhist path.  The essential factor underlying all three is faith in the teachings of the Buddha.


The first stage is building a platform of serenity, which I describe in each of my books, so important do I feel this initial stage is.  As I said, “Just as space explorers need to go to an orbiting platform before venturing into deep space, I felt I needed to create a platform of serenity upon which to build further explorations of my mind. For meditation to be transformative, I believed that not only is it important to create a physical atmosphere that is calm, it is important to have a psyche that, if not abidingly calm, at least is not in constant turmoil. Otherwise, try as I may to focus on my breathing during meditation, my mind would be bombarded with thoughts of the unfinished business of my life; my ego would not give me much rest.”

​At the end of this stage, one begins to understand that things are the way they are because it's just the way it is.  It has nothing to do with you.  This awareness together with the various techniques I describe will bring the beginnings of serenity into your life.

Once we have achieved some semblance of serenity in our lives, we are ready to go deeper into ourselves and become aware of the truths of the Buddha dharma ... this is the second stage.  Here faith becomes understanding.  The following 8 steps have been discussed in various postings or in my books and are summarized here:

1.  Awareness of breath:  Whether you’re sitting on your meditation cushion or at some other point during the day, you need to be focused on your breath.  Recite the mantra, “Breathing in, I’m aware I’m breathing in.  Breathing out, I’m aware I’m breathing out.”  And stay with it.

2.  Become present:  When you are focused on your breath, continue the mantra with, “Here there is no yesterday, no tomorrow, no today.  There is only the present moment, and this is the only reality, all else is thought.”  

When you are fully focused on your breathing, there is no interference from your mind, and so there is no yesterday, tomorrow, or today because putting yourself in those places all requires thought and the mind cannot be in two places at the same time.  And so we come to realize that the present is the only reality; thought is not reality.  We can imagine what something was like or what it will be like but that is not reality we can’t with the power of our mind put ourselves in situations that are not real and know what the reality was or will be like.  It is unknowable.

“Ah,” you say, “so that’s all I need to do to be free of my thinking mind?”  Unfortunately, not so fast.  One can’t focus on one’s breath 24/7.  You need to build a whole alternative support structure for yourself to be free of the intervention of your thinking-mind for as many moments of the day as possible.

But what this momentary freedom provides is the clarity to proceed further and build that support structure.

3.  Awareness that the source of our suffering is our cravings:  When the Buddha set rolling the wheel of the dharma and for the first time set forth the Four Noble Truths, he stated that the origin of suffering is craving.  Your suffering is not caused by what’s happening to you, what’s happening in the world, or even what happened to you in the past.  It’s caused by how you react to those things, by your craving for things to be other than they are.  It's caused by a lack of equanimity.  (NOTE:  One can work to change things, but it must come from a place of equanimity.)  Freeing us from our cravings is thus at the heart of the Buddha’s teachings.  Awareness and acceptance of this truth is central if you want to end your suffering and experience peace and happiness.  And what causes our cravings?  See the next step.


4.  Awareness that all 5 skandhas are empty of intrinsic existence:  The 5 skandhas again are ... appearance of form, feelings, perceptions, mental formations, and consciousness-ego.  It is our attachment to these products of our ego thinking-mind, our learned experience, that cause our suffering, our cravings, our fears and anxiety, our doubts and confusion, our anger and negativity.  

Initially, we learn from the teachings of the Buddha that all these aspects of our ego thinking-mind are of dependent origination, they only exist because we were taught, and thus they have no inherent or intrinsic existence.  They are a product of our mind.  They are not a reflection of reality.  My favorite and easiest to understand example of this is how we feel about the weather.  The weather is what it is; it is a fact. Yet one person with one background may label it negatively and feel terrible in a given situation, whereas another person with a different background will have positive thoughts about it and feel very comfortable in that very same situation.  It’s all in the mind.  The facts are not in dispute here, it is how we react to the facts.  

Even when we come to understand this on an intellectual level, though, while it begins to provide us with some relief, we have not absorbed this understanding in our gut.  It has not become our default way of observing the world.  And so our learned way of looking at ourselves and the world around us continues to press upon us.  But over time, as we reinforce this understanding, it slowly enters our bloodstream and becomes more and more our default.

5.  Experiencing things directly, being one with all things:  In this step, aware of the emptiness of everything in your ego-mind, all barriers between you and the world around you are removed and so you are at one with all things ... whether it’s the weather, animals, trees, or people, even unkind people.  It is often put that one affirms “not two.”  This does not mean that you are them, or they are you.  It means instead to experience things as they are ... with dispassion, free of labels, and free of the intervention of our ego thinking-mind.

To be dispassionate is to neither romanticize nor demonize something.  It is to view something impartially, free of bias ... objectively rather than subjectively.  To be free of labels is to be free of the value judgments we place on things based on our learned experience (remember the weather example).  To be free of the intervention of our ego thinking-mind is to be free of all the neuroses housed in that mind ... primarily our habit of constantly asking ourselves “what if ...” which brings on fear, anxiety, and frustration either because of what we foresee or because we have no way of knowing what will happen in the future.

This is to be aware that things are just as they are, including us (see my post, "It's Just the Way It Is).  When we are in that state, our mind rests undisturbed and thus we are open to receiving all that the present moment has to offer, embrace the moment, and take pleasure in the moment.  For when our mind rests undisturbed nothing in the world offends, and when no thing offends all obstructions cease to be ...  all cravings, doubts and confusion, fear and anxiety, anger and negativity cease to be ... for things are things because of mind as mind is mind because of things.  Both at source are emptiness. 

  
6. Developing unconditional loving kindness and compassion towards yourself and for all beings and things:  As a rule, we do not like ourselves, or at least aspects of ourselves, let alone love ourselves.  We are so caught up in all the negative images that have been thrust upon us.  We think these negative images define us; we don't know who we truly are. 

​But when we come to know that these images are just a product of the mind, we are able to experience ourselves and others directly.  We find that our true self is our heart, our true Buddha nature.  And we are able to feel our heart's natural energy of unconditional loving kindness and compassion


A strong practice that bring this state about is first to be one with yourself by opening your heart to embrace all aspects of your being and experience (see my post, "The Heart's Embrace).  When you do this all internal struggle ceases and you are able to see yourself through your heart, your true self.  All external struggle ceases as well and so are able  to see others through your heart as well.

We are all part of the same force of nature.  Regarding our fellow humans, even unkind ones, we know that suffering is universal and that we all have the Buddha nature inside us.  Being able to experience things directly without the intervention of our feelings and perceptions enables us to know that no matter how evil or powerful someone may be, that person suffers just as you do; indeed, the more evil someone is the greater the turmoil that person is likely suffering, hence the nature of his acts.  We are indeed all one, all children of the same force of nature.

7.  Knowing what it’s all about:  One of the bedeviling questions we ask ourselves when nothing seems to be going right in this world, which is quite frequently, is, “What is it all about?”  And of course there is never a clear answer; we are subject to so many inputs from various sources in our culture and family.

But when you are present, aware that feelings and perceptions are all just a product of your mind, at one with all things, and experiencing things directly, you perceive that your only purpose in life is to offer yourself and others joy (see my post, "Offer Myself Joy!") and to help relieve the suffering of others.  You have nothing to prove.  All the other purposes you have felt come from family or cultural inputs, your learned experience, your ego-mind, not your heart, your true self.

And beyond that, you perceive that the only things you need to experience peace and happiness is to open your heart and embrace all aspects of yourself, to offer yourself and others joy, be in contact with loved ones and friends, respect your body, respect your mind, be in contact with nature, and live within your means.  All else is ego.  Everything else you think you need to be happy are things that you have been taught to want, to need.  

8.  Peace and happiness are always available:  Peace and happiness as I’ve just described is an experience that is available to all people in all circumstances.  It is a state of mind.  It depends on nothing other than you.  

For example, even in situations often deemed degrading, like living in poverty, or being terminally ill and in pain, or even being in a prison or worse, one can experience happiness.  One can always offer oneself and others joy.  One can always be in contact with loved ones and friends, not always physically, but mentally.  One can always respect one’s body and mind.  One can always be in contact with nature, even if it’s through a prison window or living in an urban ghetto, or even just in your mind.  And one can always live within one’s means.

You come to understand that you have what you need, what is important to you every moment of every day.  And so you are able to receive all that each present moment has to offer and experience happiness in each moment.   And because you experience peace and happiness in the moment, you have faith that regardless what the world throws at you or how far you may stray from the path, all will be well, you will be ok, safe, because you will always return home to your true Buddha nature and be at peace and happy. 

Now we are ready for the third stage.  We have come to understand all the steps I’ve described and perceive their truth while we’re sitting on the cushion, focusing on our breath, meditating.  But what happens when we get off the cushion?

Typically, our best intentions go out the window and we get pulled into the vortex of our ego thinking-mind and its dance of death.  Our rediscovered Buddha nature is at this point still no match for the power and craftiness of our ego thinking-mind which has been the dominant force in our lives, in how we view ourselves and the world around us, for almost our entire lifetime.  We have watered our Buddha seeds, but the roots have not yet had the time to ground us firmly.

So even though we know at this point that we have a choice, we are still at our ego thinking-mind’s mercy, and it has none.  We know that if we really want to experience peace and happiness, there is only one answer.  It is not to satisfy our ego-thinking mind, not to satisfy our cravings.  It is to follow the path of the Buddha and be present, aware the five skandhas are all just a product of the mind and have no inherent existence, be at one with all things, experiencing things directly and thus at peace.  We should have compassion for our ego thinking-mind but decline to follow its lead and not accept its invitation to the dance of death.

But nevertheless, we are constantly pulled into its vortex, consumed with craving and fear, from which we sometimes only escape the next morning when we sit on the cushion and focus again on our breath and meditate.  What is the way out of this conundrum? 

In The Self in No Self and Scratching the Itch I describe the Fourfold Path to Freedom, which I learned from my Vietnamese Zen monk teachers.  The last step of that path is surrendering your ego to your true Buddha nature, turning your will and your life over to the care of your true Buddha nature.  Here we go beyond faith and understanding, becoming one with our true Buddha nature.  

But as will be known to anyone who has been reading my blog posts, despite the fact that I took this step many years ago in what I would call a macro-spiritual way, I continued to be assaulted by various aspects of my ego, its cravings, and its fears and anxieties.  And at times I was not aware of my ego thinking-mind arising, or if I was I didn’t always have the strength to just allow it to subside and instead was pulled into its vortex.

The answer I found to this conundrum is described in my post, “12 Steps on the Buddhist Path.”  We must be aware and accept that our cravings are addictions.  And the only way to free ourselves from them is to treat them as such and follow the well-proven path of 12 step programs, turning our will and our life over to the care of our true Buddha nature in a micro-spiritual way.  Each fear, each craving needs to be named and faced before we can be free of it.

By following this path, you will by and large free yourself from suffering.  But to be truly free, rather than, as they say in 12-step programs, be a "recovering addict," there is one final step to really seal the deal.  And that is, through meditation, to realize the truths of the Buddha dharma, especially those contained in Step #4 of my 12 Steps (see also the Heart Sutra), from within yourself.  Not from being taught, not by intellectual understanding, but by personal realization or knowing.

​The path of the Buddha is a never-ending one, for the ego continues to coexist with our true Buddha nature.  It is part of us.  Nevertheless, by walking the path with discipline. we experience greater freedom from the known and thus more peace and happiness as our practice deepens.  Take refuge in the Buddha, the dharma, and the sangha.


UPDATE:

The foregoing post and the Buddha dharma deal with suffering caused by the ego-mind, by our attachment to emotions, judgment, cravings, and things in general.
  But as related in my post, “Trauma,” there is another cause of suffering, the physiological aspect of deep trauma.  While all trauma impacts the ego-mind, deep trauma has a physiological presence separate from the ego because the trauma resides in the body. 

This trauma is as explained in my post impervious to language; it cannot be healed through spiritual practice or talk therapy.  There are thankfully exercises that have been discovered, as I relate, that help heal  body trauma.  Not much has been written about this phenomenon and the ultimate efficacy of these exercises is unproven.

In the meantime, however, as related in my post, “The Choice Is Yours” (see the Updated section), you do have a choice here as well.  In concert with freeing yourself from your ego-mind, you have the choice to take your life in your own hands and choose to experience yourself and the world around you with the joy and the positive energy that is your true Buddha self, your unwounded, pre-trauma heart.

Once realized, this trauma seems to be easier to get around than the ego-mind as it is mostly a passive force rather than an active force.  Unfortunately, it has taken me a lifetime to realize that part of my suffering relates to this deep trauma residing in my body.


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How to Start the Day

3/19/2014

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How you start your day is very important to how the day progresses.  Meditating each morning before you begin your day is an important discipline.  

But for many people, meditating does not provide much in the way of direction for how to live their day free of  suffering.  And even when it does, when we’re off the cushion the clarity we have in meditation often leaves us astonishingly quickly as we are distracted by the events of the day and the pull of our ego thinking-mind.

How you meditate is thus very important.  Beyond the basics of proper posture, being aware of your breathing, and not engaging the thoughts that will inevitably rise in your mind, there are other things you can do to help your meditation in providing you with direction that has a better chance of sticking.  

In my books, I’ve talked about the various mantras that I recite in the morning to focus myself on the most basic aspects of the Buddha dharma as they apply to my everyday life.  These mantras not only provide me with direction and support, but they often will stimulate an awareness during my meditation of something that has occurred recently that was not done in a spiritual way and I have a teachable moment.

During a recent meditation, I realized something else that would be helpful to add to my meditation ... ask myself, “Do you really want to experience peace and happiness today?”  And when I answer, “yes,” I know that the only way I can experience that is if I am free of the intervention of my thinking mind for as much of the day as possible.  (See my recent post, “Joy/Happiness - A Choice We Make,” as well as the post, “Do You Really Want to Be at Peace and Content?”)

You might think that this sounds silly, asking yourself such a stupid question ... “Of course the answer is, ‘yes.’”  But it is not stupid.  

One must realize that every moment of every day, there are two forces contending for primacy in your mind and actions ... your ego and your true Buddha nature.  And your ego is the far more powerful because it is far more aggressive than your true Buddha nature, which is there for support but pretty passive.

I have written in numerous posts that we have a choice.  Assuming we are aware of our ego thinking-mind arising, we have a choice either to engage in its dance of death or to follow the path of the Buddha dharma and experience peace and happiness.  (See my post, “Nirvana - It’s Right before Your Eyes”) 

But because of the power of our ego and its craftiness, we do not always make the choice we really want to, even when we are aware.  We often are literally swept away by our ego thinking-mind and pulled into its vortex.  So strong is our conditioning to follow it and believe what it is telling us, even when we know it will only result in our suffering.

And so I realized that each morning, I need to ask myself that simple question and answer it with a resounding, “Yes!”  To remind myself what my most important goal is that day and every day ... to experience peace and happiness and end my suffering.  And to use that direction not to argue with my thinking mind when it arises, but to greet it with compassion yet say firmly that I am going in a different direction ... I am following the direction of my true Buddha nature to experience peace and happiness.  I am not available for its invitation to the dance of death.

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Joy/Happiness - A Choice We Make

3/16/2014

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In several early posts, I discussed taking joy in each moment, in everything you do.  I discussed the meaning of joy or happiness in the Buddhist context, how feeling the pain of others impacts taking joy in each moment, and how our past, our subconscious can impact our ability to experience joy.  In these posts, joy was derived either from the task you were doing or what you were seeing/experiencing.  

In a later post, I related how I came to realize that all I needed to be happy was to follow my purpose in life, which is to offer others joy and help relieve the suffering of others; be in contact with loved ones and friends; respect my body; respect my mind; be in contact with nature; and live within my means.  (Not all have to be present at the same time.)  And that those were things that everyone could experience regardless of the circumstance they were in if they were present free of the intervention of their thinking mind.  This is generating your own happiness.

Recently while meditating, I realized further that experiencing happiness like experiencing peace and contentment is thus a choice we make, or don’t.  If we are present, and if we are aware of our ego-mind arising ... two not inconsequential “if’s” ... we have a choice either to engage in its dance of death with the turmoil and suffering that inevitably will follow or allow it to subside and follow instead the teaching of the Buddha


Aware of the emptiness of all five skandhas and experiencing all things directly, with dispassion, free of labels, free of the intervention of our thinking mind, we are then in a spiritual space where we can experience the happiness that is our birthright, because we can do the things that bring us happiness free of taint.

And actually, even if you do not believe that our thoughts are all empty of intrinsic existence, that there is some reality there ... even in that circumstance ... there still is only one way to experience happiness, as there is only one way to experience peace and contentment; it's just more difficult.  It is to be present and experience all things directly, free of the intervention of our thinking mind.  Unless we are free of the intervention of our thinking mind, there is no end but suffering.

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To Love Unconditionally = Loving-Kindness

3/6/2014

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In Buddhist literature and speak, it is common to talk of loving ourselves and all others unconditionally.  But given the meaning of “love” in the English language ...  to have a tender or passionate affection for, feeling a warm personal attachment to, having sexual passion or desire for … this phrasing poses barriers to the teaching (in addition to the barriers to compassion noted in my previous post).  It doesn’t work when thinking of “all others.”  And while people may feel comfortable using that language when referring to oneself or family, it isn’t what is meant by the phrase.

In my writings, I have cited a number of instances where a word or phrase from the Pali has been translated into English in such a way that it distorts the meaning and thus causes barriers to those walking the path.  This is yet another instance, and unfortunately I have been as guilty as others of using the common phrasing.

So where do we go to get a correct understanding of this basic Buddhist concept and a different way of expressing it in English?  As I often do, I looked at Bhikkhu Nanamoli’s The Life of the Buddha and interestingly found no examples of the Buddha teaching “unconditional love.”  

Instead, what we find are numerous instances where the Buddha teaches the merit of loving-kindness (“metta” in Pali).  The Buddha said that to abide with a heart full of loving-kindness is to be unaffected by ill-will, unhostile, and to extend ones heart to every living being.

Put into practice, loving-kindness thus means offering joy to all no matter what they may have done.  It means helping to relieve the suffering of others.  It means opening ones heart and understanding to all, without limitation, unconditionally, with equanimity.  And from loving-kindness comes compassion because compassion comes from understanding and an open heart.  These are in fact the Four Immeasurable Minds taught by the Buddha ... loving-kindness, compassion, joy, and equanimity.

To practice loving-kindness is thus what is meant when the phrase “to love unconditionally” is used.  It has nothing to do with the English or really any other culture’s concept of love.

And the phrase applies equally to your relationship to yourself, your family and friends, and the world around you.  It is to understand that we all suffer, we all are creatures of our learned experience, and that beneath all the suffering that we therefore in turn cause both ourselves and others, our true Buddha nature lies waiting to be uncovered, waiting to be embraced and to embrace us.

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Compassion

3/4/2014

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Compassion is a difficult thing for most of us to feel, whether towards ourselves, our loved ones, or colleagues, let alone people who demonstrate a capacity for major acts of evil.  Towards the great mass of people, we often have an easier time feeling compassion.

“Wait,” you say, “I have felt pity towards myself or sorrow at my condition as well as towards others.” But pity and sorrow are not compassion, at least not in the Buddhist sense. Because pity and sorrow do not negate the underlying condition as perceived by our ego.  It does not change the perception that we or others are bad or a failure or whatever.

For a Buddhist, the origin of compassion is being aware that we all suffer and that we have become who we are and do what we do because of our life experiences, our samsara.  It is being aware, as the Christian saying goes, that "there but for the grace of God go I."  Although we are all born essentially perfect with the true Buddha nature inside us, our life experiences and the mind's reaction to those experiences has left us weakened, separated from the Buddha dharma.   

And so compassion is unconditional; we do not judge ourselves or others anymore.   We accept ourselves and them for what we are … without labels.  For an exception to this acceptance, see my post, "Evil - How Should a  Buddhist Respond?"

Why is compassion so difficult?  It’s often because we feel anger towards a particular person or group of people.  If we don’t, then we don’t usually have a problem feeling compassion because it doesn’t go against our grain.  For those towards whom we feel anger, the greater the anger the harder it is for us to feel compassion.

The reason is that we are not forgiving.  We hold onto past hurts or slights tenaciously.  They become a powerful aspect of our ego-mind.  Whether the hurt is caused in our view by our own action (or inaction) or someone else’s makes no difference.  In many cases we are least forgiving of ourselves.

And we are not forgiving because we hold either ourselves or others accountable for the fact that our lives are not the way we want them to be.  It is our fault or it is their fault.  

In order to develop a compassionate heart, there are thus several things that we need to do.  The first is to accept, or better yet embrace, the fact that our life is exactly the way it is right at this moment because it’s just the way it is.  If there’s a perceived problem, it’s no one’s fault.  (And remember, if we are aware that all our thoughts are empty of intrinsic existence, then there is nothing that is a “problem.”  That is yet another label we apply that impacts our experience of reality and creates a barrier.)

Someone, ourself or another person, may have caused the situation, but it is not our or their fault.  It may be someone’s responsibility, but not their fault.   

“That makes no sense,” you are probably thinking.  Let me explain. We know from the Buddha dharma that each person’s suffering is a result of the learned experience of a lifetime.  That is especially true of our childhood.  Suffering is universal.  Each and every one of us, regardless how rich or poor, how powerful or weak, suffers because of the insecurities that we learned at the hands of our family, our peers, and our society.  

And because we are all a product of our learned experience, despite all the talk about free will, we actually have very little free will ... only within a small range of activity ... because we are programmed by our experience to act in a certain way.  So even though each person acts in a purposeful way, whether doing good or bad, we really have precious little choice how to act.  

That is why I said that someone may be responsible ... they did indeed cause something ... but they are not at fault, because they really didn’t have a choice to do much else.  This is a hard fact to accept because it goes against everything we’ve been taught about choosing between right and wrong, about free will.  

And besides, we feel the need to blame someone.  But if we accept our lives as being the way they are right now because it’s just the way it is, then there is no need to blame, there is nothing to feel bad about.  Our life just is, just like everything else.

So we should have compassion for ourselves and for all others.  Even those who have done great harm to others are deserving of compassion because their heinous acts are a direct reflection of the extreme inner turmoil they experience due to the brutality that they suffered at the hands of family, peers, or society.


The other barrier to compassion is our not feeling at one with others.  For example, many people find it difficult to feel compassion for street beggars or dope addicts or prostitutes, etc.  We feel that these people are somehow different from us, less deserving, they are at fault for their present circumstance, we are often scared of them or feel threatened.  This can even be true regarding family members or colleagues who have "problems;" we feel they are at fault.  Again, we are not forgiving.

But the Buddha dharma teaches that we are all one.  Suffering is universal.  Such people are the way they are at this moment because they have suffered greatly at the hands of their family, peers, or society.  They were not  born that way.  Their circumstance is not something they chose, certainly not with anything approximating free will.  And so realizing our common humanity, we have compassion.

I know the lesson of compassion is a hard one.  But remember, we forgive and we have compassion first and foremost to heal ourselves.  That is the only way to rid ourselves of the anger and negative feelings and feelings of separateness that eat away at us day after day and cause us much suffering.


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Walking Away from Modernity

3/2/2014

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One of the things we do by walking the path is to free ourselves from our learned experience, which is the source of our samsara.   One type of learned experience which is generally not thought of in this connection is the learned experience that with modern technology all sorts of things are possible and achievable.  

For example, we can fly almost anywhere in the world and experience exotic places firsthand.  And because it’s possible and because lots of average people do it, we feel that we should be able to do it too.

But modernity, or “progress” for that matter, is a very mixed blessing, certainly from a spiritual perspective.  Much of progress involves speed, being able to do things more quickly.  While that may indeed be a more efficient use of time, it makes us less aware because you can’t be aware when you are running around all the time.  And if we’re not aware, we’re not present, and are subject to all the suffering caused by the activity of our thinking mind.

And what has flying become?  We have put ourselves in a situation analogous  to animals in a factory farm.  We are squeezed together in tight, poorly-ventilated spaces for long periods of time as we fly through the air at hundreds of miles an hour.  When we pass through several time zones in such rapid order, we arrive with our bodies totally unprepared for day before us ... the common experience of jet lag.

There are two factors here.   First, even before the drudgery of post-9/11 security, the experience of flying as a mass transportation was a spiritually and physically deadening one.  Our bodies are not meant to be put through such a wringer.  And when the world moves by so quickly, we lose the ability to experience anything in the present ... it’s all a blur.

I couldn’t put it better than the words from George F. Kennan’s recently published memoirs.  “Life is too full in these times to be comprehensible.  We know too many cities to be able to grow into any of them, ... too many friends to know any of them well, and the quality of our impressions gives way to the quantity, so that life begins to seem like a movie, with hundreds of kaleidoscopic scenes flashing on and off our field of perception, gone before we have time to consider them.”

Indeed we seek this rapid pace in the movies we watch as well.  The most popular films are action-packed, fast moving.  The movie that is slow and savors the subtle aspects of life is doomed to low ticket sales, if it’s able to be made at all.

It we wish to lead a spiritual life and walk the path, one of the choices we can make is ... at least where it is practically feasible ... to walk away from modernity.  We must return to a simpler, slower, way of life so that we have the opportunity to be aware and experience things as they are meant to be experienced.  

For example, there’s even a huge difference between driving at 60 miles an hour (5 over the limit) and driving at 45 miles an hour (10 under).  Try it and see how the body and mind react positively to the slower, less stressful pace.

Think about the real choices you have in life.  Don’t just follow the well-trodden, heavily marketed, path before you like a lemming following his peers off a cliff.

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    1. The Goal Of Buddhism
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    Paradise Lost
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    Protecting Yourself From The Elements
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    Reality Is Not What We Experience
    Receiving The Love Of Your Buddha Nature
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    Reflecting On 75 Years
    Reincarnation - An Unorthodox Take
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    Seeking Guidance From The Buddha/God/the Universe - III
    Seeking Guidance From The Buddha/God/the Universe - IV
    See Things Through Your Heart Not Your Mind
    See Yourslef And The World Through Different Eyes
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    Self-Responsibility During The Pandemic
    Sex - Misused And Abused - A Different Perspective
    Shall We Dance? - An Invitation To The Dance Of Death
    Shame
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    Soul -True Self - And Ego-Mind
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    Speak The Truth But Beware
    Starving The Ego
    Step #10: Continued To Be Mindful Of The Arising Of Cravings And Desires And When They Arose Did Not Attach To Them And Allowed Them To Subside.
    Step #11: Sought Through Meditation To Constantly Improve Our Conscious Contact With Our True Buddha Nature
    Step #1: Admitted Our Cravings Cause Us Suffering And That We Are Powerless Over Them
    Step #2: Came To Believe That Our True Buddha Nature Could Restore Us To Peace And Created A Platform Of Serenity
    Step #3: Committed Ourselves To The Path By Practicing The Five Precepts And The Six Paramitas
    Step #4 Came To Believe That All Our Perceptions Are Learned - That They Are Just A Product Of Our Ego-mind - And That Our Ego-mind Is Not Our True Self - Instead We Knew That Our True Self Is Our Heart.
    Step #5: Were Ready And Willing And Made A Decision To Surrender Our Ego And Turn Our Will And Our Lives Over To The Care Of Our True Buddha Nature Opening Our Heart To Embrace All Aspects Of Our Being.
    Step #6: Came To Believe That We Have Everything We Need Within Ourselves To Be At Peace And Happy
    Step #7: Came To Be Free Of Our Cravings
    Step #8: Were Entirely Ready To Love Ourselves Unconditionally And Have Compassion For Ourselves And To Accept Ourselves And The World Around Us As Being The Way They Are Because It's Just The Way It Is.
    Step #9: Made A List Of Persons We Had Harmed And Made Amends To Them
    Stopping Self-Sabotage
    Strength Not Courage
    Suffering Is Universal - But Why?
    Survival - The Force That Controls Our Life
    Taking Pleasure In Each Passing Moment
    Taking Refuge In Yourself
    Taking Responsibility Is Not Blame
    Teaching Only Points The Way
    Test The Wisdom Of What You’re Doing Or Thinking Of Doing
    The 3-legged Stool Of Spirituality
    The Art Of Self-Nurturing
    The Challenge Of Staying Aware
    The Coexistence Of Ego And Buddha Nature
    The Conceit "I Am"
    The Devil Is Alive And Well
    The Distinction Between Pain And Suffering
    The Divine And Man
    The Ego As Saboteur
    The Emptiness Of Intrinsic Existence And Its Relevance To Global Warming
    The Felt Need For Acknowledgment
    The Five Precepts
    The Four Bodhisattva Vows
    The Fourfold Path To Freedom
    The Four Noble Truths
    The Fragility Of Man
    The Freedom Of Focusing On Someone Or Something Outside Yourself
    The Heart/Mind Divide
    The Heart’s Embrace - More On Freeing Ourselves
    The Heart's Embrace - Updated
    The Hurt Of Rejection - Its Enduring Impact
    The Illusion Of Control
    The Imperative Of Self-Preservation
    The Lessons Of Siddhartha
    The Light Within You
    The Limits Of Rational Thought
    The Lord's Role In Your Work
    The Meaning And Power Of Selflessness
    The Middle Way - A Way Back From The Breach
    The Mind And The Wounded Inner Child
    The Mind And Your Inner Child - II
    The Mind Is Sneaky - Surrender It
    The Mind's Deep State
    The Mind - Suffering Connection
    The Miracle That Is You
    The Misleading Teaching Of No Self
    The Missing Noble Truth
    The Myanmar Situation
    The Mystery Of The Ego - An Answer
    The New Me - I Not I
    The Noble Eightfold Path
    The Original Trauma - Birth
    The Parable Of The Raft
    The Path As Tightrope
    The Path From Peace To Joy
    The Path Is Never-Ending
    The Power Of Affirmations - Use Carefully
    The Power Of Giving Voice To Thoughts
    The Power Of Prayer
    The Present Beyond Us
    The Purpose Of Life
    The Purpose Of Meditation
    The Push/Pull Of Ego-Mind
    The Question Is Not Whether The Glass Is Half Empty Or Half Full
    There Are No Bad Persons
    There Is Nothing Wrong With You
    The Remnants Of The Ego
    The Serenity Prayer
    The Serenity Prayer - II
    The Soul’s Yearning And How Best To Fulfill It
    The Source Of Equanimity And Peace
    The Stages Of Acceptance
    The Stages Of Man’s Spirit
    The Subconscious
    The Sun Is Always Shining/ There's No Such Thing As Bad Weather
    The Three Stages Of Embrace
    The Truth – Seeing It And Speaking It
    The Unaware Consumer
    The Wisdom Of Chickens
    The Wisdom Of Now
    This Is Not Me This Is Not My Self
    Thought Objects
    To Free Yourself From Cravings You Must Free Yourself Of Fear
    To Love Unconditionally = Loving-Kindness
    Tonglen - How To Approach Its Practice
    To Observe Free Of Mind - To Experience Joy
    To See Opportunity You Must Be Free Of Fear
    To Thine Own Self Be True
    Trauma
    Trauma Begets Trauma
    Trauma Denied No Longer
    Trauma - Healing It Is Critical
    Trauma - It’s Release
    Turning Your Will Over To Your True Buddha Nature
    Waking Up
    Walking Away From Modernity
    Walking On The Beach
    Walking The Path - It’s A Lot Of Work But It’s Well Worth It
    Wandering Until ?
    Wealth Poverty And Buddhism
    We Are All One
    We Are Not Meant To Suffer
    We Have Everything We Need To Be At Peace And Happy Inside Ourselves
    We Have Lost Our Sense Of Place
    We Make Our Own Mental Environment
    We Never Stop Healing
    What Activates The Ego-Mind?
    What Are We Celebrating On July 4th?
    What Blocks Me From Being Truly Present And Radiating My Inner Energy 24/7?
    What Drives Us Mad?
    What If The Present Is Bad?
    What Is Joy? What Is Happiness?
    What Is Life Without Emotion?
    What Is Most Important To You?
    What Is Your Task In Life?
    What Lies Behind Our Good Deeds?
    What Nourishes My Soul?
    What Price Peace And Happiness?
    What's In A Name?
    What's Real And What’s Not Real?
    What’s The Real Challenge - Life Or The Ego?
    What To Do When You Lose Faith?
    What Use Fame Power Fortune?
    What You Can’t Will And What You Can
    When A Heart’s Desire Is Commandeered By The Ego
    When Joy Is Not Joy
    When Love Is Not Love ...
    When Nothing Offends
    When Really Bad Things Happen
    When Smiling Toddlers Cry
    When The Mind Intervenes
    When Things Are Not The Way We Want Them To Be
    Who Am I?
    Who Are You?
    Who/What Is Your True Self?
    Why Diets Fail - A Buddhist Perspective
    Why Do We Crave?
    Why Is Being Grateful Such A Challenge?
    Why Is It So Hard To Be Free Of Your Ego?
    Why Is Mankind Trapped In A Box?
    Why Point The Compass Towards Tomorrow?
    Why We Take Offense
    Wisdom - What Is It?
    Wounded Our Ego-Mind Becomes The Devil
    Yes Virginia There Is A True Buddha Nature
    Yet Another Past Attachment
    You Are Not Alone
    You As Observer
    You Can Be In Control
    You Cannot Radiate Light If You Are Filled With Fear
    You Don't Need To Be Liked
    Your True Self And The Irrelevance Of The Min
    Your Will Not My Mind's - II
    Your Will Not My Mind's - III

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