Blog Archives

Death and Life, Part 2

1/28/2014

So once we accept that death can come at any moment and we no longer fear death (see my post on “Death and Life”), how does that impact how we live? Sogyal Rinpoche says that we cannot live life because we are unprepared for death.

In our culture, when someone becomes aware of their mortality (which they definitely still fear), the common reaction is to want to live life to the fullest, to live each moment as if it were the last. Unfortunately, in our culture what that usually means is that one goes for everything one has wanted to do but hasn’t. We try to gratify all our unskillful desires, our cravings. This hardly brings peace and just heightens the anxiety of approaching death. It’s indulgence on the edge.

For a Buddhist, the definition of living life to the fullest is very different. Aware of the emptiness of all five skandhas, having no fear of and being prepared for death, we are fully aware of the impermanence of all things. We know that everything our thinking mind wants to grasp is transient.

And so we understand that trying to grasp these things is of no use and produces nothing but stress and anxiety. Thus we are able to free ourselves from our cravings and instead focus on our purpose in life, which is to offer others joy and help relieve the suffering of others. This is the change in life that being prepared for death brings.

0 Comments

Step #11: Sought through meditation to constantly improve our conscious contact with our true Buddha nature, observing things without the intervention of thought, practicing the Six Paramitas, and following the Noble Eightfold Path

1/26/2014

0 Comments

If there is one practical truth about the Buddhist path, it is that it is never-ending. As explained in the post for Step #10 and many others, all of our fears, anxieties, neuroses, perceptions remain part of our ego thinking-mind and thus part of us forever. We are always recovering addicts.

What changes, hopefully, is how we relate to them, how we become aware of their emptiness, and so are able to view ourselves and the world around us directly, with dispassion, free of labels, free of the intervention of the thinking mind. As the ancient Chinese poem, “Affirming Faith in Mind,” says. “When the mind rests undisturbed, nothing in the world offends, all obstructions cease to be, for things are things because of mind as mind is mind because of things.” When we are in this space there is no doubt or confusion, no fear or anxiety, no negativity or anger.

And how do we find that space and increase the amount of each day that we are in that space? Through meditation, practicing the Six Paramitas (generosity, virtuous conduct, understanding, enthusiastic effort and diligence, meditation/
concentration, and wisdom), and following the Noble Eightfold Path (Right View, Right Intention, Right Speech, Right Action, Right Livelihood, Right Effort, Right Mindfulness, and Right Concentration) ... but above all through meditation, the “gateway to freedom.”

Within the space of this post, I can’t address each of these aspects of practice. For more on the six paramitas, see my book, Scratching the Itch. For more on the Noble Eightfold Path see my recent post and many other sources. For more on meditation, see any of my books and various posts, but if you want a very detailed guide to meditation then go to one of the many sources out there that provide that.

Suffice it to say that incorporating these elements into your daily life is important both for the discipline it brings to your practice and also for the support these elements provide for staying on the path in the face of the challenges that our ego thinking-mind and our culture present. This is taking refuge in the Buddha, the dharma, and the sangha.

0 Comments

The Noble Eightfold Path

1/23/2014

0 Comments

In preparing a post recently, I realized that I have never written anything specifically regarding the Noble Eightfold Path; most of its elements have been discussed but in other contexts. Given the centrality of this path in the Buddha dharma, I thought I should address its elements directly.

My only previous comment about the Noble Eightfold Path was to say that one can’t practice Right View or Right anything until one has surrendered one’s ego to your true Buddha nature, because if the ego, one’s learned experience, is still an active force it will intervene by generating thoughts/obstructions which commandeer us and pull us away from our true Buddha nature, from which flows the various Right aspects.

As will be obvious if you’ve been reading my posts, by this I do not mean that following the Noble Eightfold Path is dependent on successfully freeing oneself from all intervention of your ego thinking-mind. That comes only with full enlightenment. But as one makes this vow and slowly increases the circle of your life which is relatively free of the intervention of your ego thinking-mind, you will become more and more able to make progress on the path.

So let me briefly discuss the eight parts of this path, all of which are to be found in other aspects of the Buddha’s teaching.

Right View - This is understanding the truth of the dependent arising of all things, especially the five skandhas. Coming to understand this truth, first intellectually and as your practice deepens internally, in your gut, opens the door to the other parts of the path as well as to the Four Noble Truths.

Right Intention - This is the intention to free oneself from all the cravings that cause our suffering. It can also be seen as the intention to live one’s life consistent with the Five Precepts.

Right Speech, Right Action, and Right Livelihood - These are pretty self-explanatory when thought of as speech, action, and livelihood that is consistent with the Five Precepts. Together they also constitute Virtuous Conduct which is one of the Six Paramitas.

Right Effort - This is the effort we make in freeing ourselves from unwholesome states and developing wholesome states. Meditation, and putting the awareness we have during meditation into practice in our daily lives, is the centerpiece of Right Effort.

Right Mindfulness - Mindfulness is being aware of the emptiness of all five skandhas and experiencing everything in life with dispassion, free of the intervention of our thinking mind. The skandhas, or aggregates as they are often called, thus do not become “clinging aggregates” which are the cause of our craving and suffering.

Right Concentration - This is a level of meditation which proceeds in the Buddha dharma through four stages. While on first reading this sounds like it's the meditation of a monk, a bhikkhu, closer thought reveals that it is something that all who walk the path can aspire to. It begins with a stage free of all sensual craving and unwholesome states with happiness and pleasure born of seclusion from these states and ends with a stage free of pleasure and pain, as well as joy and grief, a pure state of perfect equanimity.

This does not mean that the meditator is a zombie with no feeling. What these words mean is that one no longer labels experiences joy or grief, pain or pleasure. The experiences are still there; but one experiences things directly as they are, free of labels, free of thought.

As the ancient Chinese poem "Affirming Faith in Mind" says, "For as it is, whole and complete, this sense world is enlightenment." The point is that when we are aware of the emptiness of all five skandhas and experience things just as they are, free of our thinking mind, that is nirvana … we are free of fear and obstructions, free of confused illusions. Thus we are at peace and content, suffering and doubt cease.

These steps are ones that all of us walking the path can aspire to and make incremental progress on as our practice deepens.

0 Comments

Step #10: Continued to be mindful of the arising of cravings and desires, and when they arose, stopped, did not attach to them, and allowed them to subside.

1/18/2014

0 Comments

Despite all our work, regardless of the nature of one’s addiction, it never fully goes away. There is no cure in that sense. That is why the saying in 12-step programs is that one is a “recovering” addict, never “recovered.” Our cravings remain a part of our ego thinking-mind, even after we have surrendered our ego to our true Buddha nature and turned our will and our lives over to the care of our true Buddha nature.

Our ego remains a part of us, watching, waiting for a moment of weakness to assert itself. As you’ve no doubt discovered, your ego does not like not having its way.

Please understand that this does not indicate a failing on your part or a deficiency in your practice in any way. Even the Buddha stated that he was still aware of his thoughts, feelings, and perceptions, but as he was the Buddha he was able to just watch them arise and then allow them to subside. He did not engage them.

While you most likely will not be able to achieve 100% consistency in both being aware when your cravings arise and allowing them to subside, you can work towards that. Over time you will find that it becomes easier as your practice deepens.

As I’ve written in other posts, the first challenge you have is to be aware for as much of the day as possible. Don’t be discouraged that even when you stop during the day to focus on your breath and be present, a few moments later you become distracted and your mind carries you off. That’s just the way it is. All you can do is work towards increasing your awareness.

Then assuming you are aware of your craving arising, you have a choice to make. Do you follow the lead of your craving or do you with compassion tell it that it is a remnant of your past and that you are now seeking guidance from your true Buddha nature and will not follow your craving’s lead, you reject its guidance, knowing it will lead only to frustration, fear, anger, and overall suffering.

The choice is yours to make. And hopefully having worked the previous steps in this program, you will be firm in your choice not to follow your craving and allow it to subside.

For more help, please see the various blog and advice posts I’ve written on this subject.

0 Comments

Step #9: Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.

1/5/2014

0 Comments

When one goes through the process of recognizing and accepting that our cravings are harmful, we become aware that not only have our cravings caused us a great deal of suffering, but they have caused others harm as well, be they family members, friends, colleagues, or others.

For example, let’s take the almost ubiquitous craving to succeed. Because of our craving to succeed, we often harm precisely those who supposedly we are trying to be a success for ... our spouse/partner and children. When all one’s energy goes into one’s job or career, there is little left for family.

It is an all too common occurrence that men or women come home from work and have no energy to either provide quality time, attention, and conversation to each other or their children. We are just too exhausted. Indeed, we want to be coddled and cared for. But that is exactly what our spouses/partners and children desperately need from us.

At work, our desire to succeed can sometimes cause us to harm others. It is a dog eat dog world out there in most corporate and even nonprofit settings. There are only limited opportunities for advancement above a certain level, and either you receive the opportunity or someone else. And so sometimes we are not content to just let our merit speak for us and instead take actions which attempt to denigrate colleagues who we view as competition.

A central part of every 12-step program is to recognize such harm and make amends to such individuals, except when to do so would injure or embarrass them or others. Why? Because making amends accomplishes several things.

First, it helps free us from guilt. Guilt is not a healthy feeling. Recognizing we have harmed someone, accepting responsibility, is one thing, but feeling guilty is another. It interferes with loving ourselves unconditionally and having compassion for ourselves. By making amends to the person harmed, it makes it easier for us to have compassion for ourselves because we have attempted to at least partially right a wrong and we have accepted responsibility.

Second, making amends is a humbling experience. And humbling ourselves before others is a healthy experience, a check on our often outsized ego. It reminds us of our interconnectedness, our oneness, with others. Everything we do has an effect not just on us, but on others as well. whether directly or indirectly.

Finally, when our addiction has harmed either family members or friends, making amends is a first step in healing an often troubled and conflicted relationship. By opening yourself up to the other, you are showing yourself as human and caring, which often can lead to a cathartic exchange which allows all to put the hurts of the past behind them and be present, reestablish trust, and recognize and be grateful for the good things in their lives.

0 Comments