If you are free of the control of your mind and have reconnected with your true self, which is your heart, your true Buddha nature, you know that you have everything you need inside yourself to be at peace and happy, you love yourself unconditionally and acknowledge yourself, you do not need anyone's acknowledgment or approval to validate yourself.
But because the mind remains active, even if we have achieved this state in our spiritual practice, and certainly if we haven't, it is important to ask some questions about this need for acknowledgment that is part of human learned nature.
The source of this almost obsessive need is the fact that as babies and in early childhood, the mind learns that we are dependent on others, mainly parents, for our well-being and that if we want to be assured of their attention, we need to please them. And the mind never forgets this lesson; it feels it needs to remind us of this in order to protect us.
You know that if you allow the mind to control your thoughts and actions, you will suffer. And this is certainly one example. But if you're not yet free of your mind, or even if you generally are it still sneaks up on you at moments, how do you deal with this need for acknowledgment and not suffer?
The first question to ask yourself is, is your need for acknowledgment indiscriminate? Do you need acknowledgement from everyone you come in contact with, everyone you submit something to?
The answer you should come to is, no. Why should you care, let alone depend, on what someone who you don't know or don't respect thinks of you? If you need acknowledgment, it should be restricted to those people whom you respect and trust.
There are two points here. First, why set yourself up by seeking acknowledgment from someone you don't know or know but don't respect and trust? The overwhelming likelihood is that because most people are self-centered they will pay no attention to you and you will be devastated. Plus as stated, there's no reason why you should care what they think of you.
The second and powerful thought is: Think about the people you have respected and trusted. And don't automatically put your parents in that category; ask yourself truthfully whether you respect and trust them. It may be there have been no such people, but if there have been, it is almost guaranteed that you will realize that they did acknowledge you, respect you, believe in you. And that's really all that should be important to you.
But the reader may respond, "What about if I have to send out submissions or put myself out there in other ways and I am dependent on the gatekeeper responding favorably to what I sent in order for me to make the money I need to support myself/"
A good and valid question. From a financial standpoint, your perceived need is understandable, although how much you need is a product of the mind not your heart and therefore likely to be grossly overstated.
But when you put yourself out there, what's important is that you have faith in yourself, believe in yourself, and so are not attached to the submission, otherwise you will suffer greatly. When you submit something, make it a practice to say, "If it happens, great; if it doesn't, that's ok too. I will survive."
If you believe in yourself and your product, then what this person, or numerous people, who you don't respect or trust think of what you've produced shouldn't impact how you feel about yourself, or your chance of "success." Obviously, the fact that you have gotten one or more rejections means that you will either have to submit more or change something about your submissions. But that's nothing to get emotional about. That's really the main point: learn to react with dispassion - with some feeling but no emotion.
Bottom line, come to know that you have everything you need inside yourself to be at peace and happy and are not dependent on the acknowledgment of others. You will always be there for yourself. But to the extent you still feel that need, it should be restricted to those you respect and trust.
But because the mind remains active, even if we have achieved this state in our spiritual practice, and certainly if we haven't, it is important to ask some questions about this need for acknowledgment that is part of human learned nature.
The source of this almost obsessive need is the fact that as babies and in early childhood, the mind learns that we are dependent on others, mainly parents, for our well-being and that if we want to be assured of their attention, we need to please them. And the mind never forgets this lesson; it feels it needs to remind us of this in order to protect us.
You know that if you allow the mind to control your thoughts and actions, you will suffer. And this is certainly one example. But if you're not yet free of your mind, or even if you generally are it still sneaks up on you at moments, how do you deal with this need for acknowledgment and not suffer?
The first question to ask yourself is, is your need for acknowledgment indiscriminate? Do you need acknowledgement from everyone you come in contact with, everyone you submit something to?
The answer you should come to is, no. Why should you care, let alone depend, on what someone who you don't know or don't respect thinks of you? If you need acknowledgment, it should be restricted to those people whom you respect and trust.
There are two points here. First, why set yourself up by seeking acknowledgment from someone you don't know or know but don't respect and trust? The overwhelming likelihood is that because most people are self-centered they will pay no attention to you and you will be devastated. Plus as stated, there's no reason why you should care what they think of you.
The second and powerful thought is: Think about the people you have respected and trusted. And don't automatically put your parents in that category; ask yourself truthfully whether you respect and trust them. It may be there have been no such people, but if there have been, it is almost guaranteed that you will realize that they did acknowledge you, respect you, believe in you. And that's really all that should be important to you.
But the reader may respond, "What about if I have to send out submissions or put myself out there in other ways and I am dependent on the gatekeeper responding favorably to what I sent in order for me to make the money I need to support myself/"
A good and valid question. From a financial standpoint, your perceived need is understandable, although how much you need is a product of the mind not your heart and therefore likely to be grossly overstated.
But when you put yourself out there, what's important is that you have faith in yourself, believe in yourself, and so are not attached to the submission, otherwise you will suffer greatly. When you submit something, make it a practice to say, "If it happens, great; if it doesn't, that's ok too. I will survive."
If you believe in yourself and your product, then what this person, or numerous people, who you don't respect or trust think of what you've produced shouldn't impact how you feel about yourself, or your chance of "success." Obviously, the fact that you have gotten one or more rejections means that you will either have to submit more or change something about your submissions. But that's nothing to get emotional about. That's really the main point: learn to react with dispassion - with some feeling but no emotion.
Bottom line, come to know that you have everything you need inside yourself to be at peace and happy and are not dependent on the acknowledgment of others. You will always be there for yourself. But to the extent you still feel that need, it should be restricted to those you respect and trust.
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