I have noted often in my posts that despite all the progress I have made on the path and the disciplined nature of my practice, that my ego-mind continues to pull me away, even if less frequently and in a milder manner. Even after I opened my heart to embrace all aspects of my being and experience and felt that that was the key to turning my will and my life over to the care of my true Buddha nature.
I thought perhaps that’s just the way it is. But when meditating one morning recently I realized that the reason why this keeps happening, even though to a far lesser extent, is that I had not fully turned my will and my life over to the care of my true self when I opened my heart. I, as observer, was still in charge.
The next morning I sat with this question: how do I fully turn my will and my life over to the care of my true self?The resolution of this came to me in two parts: “Get over yourself” and “It’s your true self that will do these things, not the ‘I’.” And so this final section is about even more closely identifying with your true self.When I say, “Get over yourself,”
I don't mean this in the sarcastic way the phrase is often used, nor as meaning that people should not be aware of their value or talents. Rather, I mean that after learning that your true self is your heart not your ego-mind, and that all your feelings and perceptions are just a product of your ego-mind and are the cause of your suffering, one comes to the realization that whatever is going on around you, whatever is being done to you or in the past was done to you, has nothing really to do with you. It’s all about others.
A monk once said to me that if someone or society does something that pushes your buttons, that's an expression of the other person’s or society’s trauma, their insecurity or suffering; it has nothing to do with you. So do not become angry or upset.
There is no reason to take things personally. It may deserve a response, but not an ego-driven one. There is no need or reason to “deal” with these things in an emotion-laden manner.
There is another aspect to getting over yourself, and that is realizing that in the larger scheme of things your life is like a grain of sand. Your life definitely has meaning in that you offer joy to others and you make a difference in the life of others. You do good and are important in that sense. But when viewed against the background of the world, let alone the universe, you acknowledge that you are just a tiny speck. And so you get over yourself by letting go any feelings of self-importance. And any feeling that you are special.
Feeling self-important, feeling that everything revolves around you, feeling that you are special is a terrible trap, as I've indicated. When you have those feelings, you will always expect to be treated a certain way and when you’re not you will suffer.
When, however, you are over yourself you can more easily affirm that you have everything you need inside yourself to be at peace and happy. And that regardless what life throws at you, all will be well because you will continue to do what’s important to you and be yourself.
And when you’re in that state, you will be free of cravings because you have everything that’s most important to you … you’re doing what you are meant to do and you are being yourself and experiencing peace and happiness. What more could one desire? The ego-mind could obviously come up with lots of things, but that’s the point.
Yes, there will still be things that you may want to do to improve your life in various ways, but these do not become cravings, they don’t become something that your peace depends on. You’ll say, “If it happens, great. If if doesn’t happen, that’s ok too.”
You will also come to realize that your ego-mind adds and has added nothing positive to your life. To confirm this intuitive feeling, I reviewed the events in my past that were important positive moments. And I found that all of those occurred because of the guidance of my heart. My ego-mind was not the catalyst for my doing any of those things.
I came to the realization that it was not the "I" that moved my life forward, it was instead my true self. To the extent that my ego-mind involved itself, it instead created problems by creating expectations and goals, rather than just being satisfied by the process, the journey.
When you understand these truths and act on them, getting over yourself, you will in effect be one with your true self. And the last barrier to your fully turning your will and your mind over to your true self disappears. You will have no fear of an ego-free life.
I thought perhaps that’s just the way it is. But when meditating one morning recently I realized that the reason why this keeps happening, even though to a far lesser extent, is that I had not fully turned my will and my life over to the care of my true self when I opened my heart. I, as observer, was still in charge.
The next morning I sat with this question: how do I fully turn my will and my life over to the care of my true self?The resolution of this came to me in two parts: “Get over yourself” and “It’s your true self that will do these things, not the ‘I’.” And so this final section is about even more closely identifying with your true self.When I say, “Get over yourself,”
I don't mean this in the sarcastic way the phrase is often used, nor as meaning that people should not be aware of their value or talents. Rather, I mean that after learning that your true self is your heart not your ego-mind, and that all your feelings and perceptions are just a product of your ego-mind and are the cause of your suffering, one comes to the realization that whatever is going on around you, whatever is being done to you or in the past was done to you, has nothing really to do with you. It’s all about others.
A monk once said to me that if someone or society does something that pushes your buttons, that's an expression of the other person’s or society’s trauma, their insecurity or suffering; it has nothing to do with you. So do not become angry or upset.
There is no reason to take things personally. It may deserve a response, but not an ego-driven one. There is no need or reason to “deal” with these things in an emotion-laden manner.
There is another aspect to getting over yourself, and that is realizing that in the larger scheme of things your life is like a grain of sand. Your life definitely has meaning in that you offer joy to others and you make a difference in the life of others. You do good and are important in that sense. But when viewed against the background of the world, let alone the universe, you acknowledge that you are just a tiny speck. And so you get over yourself by letting go any feelings of self-importance. And any feeling that you are special.
Feeling self-important, feeling that everything revolves around you, feeling that you are special is a terrible trap, as I've indicated. When you have those feelings, you will always expect to be treated a certain way and when you’re not you will suffer.
When, however, you are over yourself you can more easily affirm that you have everything you need inside yourself to be at peace and happy. And that regardless what life throws at you, all will be well because you will continue to do what’s important to you and be yourself.
And when you’re in that state, you will be free of cravings because you have everything that’s most important to you … you’re doing what you are meant to do and you are being yourself and experiencing peace and happiness. What more could one desire? The ego-mind could obviously come up with lots of things, but that’s the point.
Yes, there will still be things that you may want to do to improve your life in various ways, but these do not become cravings, they don’t become something that your peace depends on. You’ll say, “If it happens, great. If if doesn’t happen, that’s ok too.”
You will also come to realize that your ego-mind adds and has added nothing positive to your life. To confirm this intuitive feeling, I reviewed the events in my past that were important positive moments. And I found that all of those occurred because of the guidance of my heart. My ego-mind was not the catalyst for my doing any of those things.
I came to the realization that it was not the "I" that moved my life forward, it was instead my true self. To the extent that my ego-mind involved itself, it instead created problems by creating expectations and goals, rather than just being satisfied by the process, the journey.
When you understand these truths and act on them, getting over yourself, you will in effect be one with your true self. And the last barrier to your fully turning your will and your mind over to your true self disappears. You will have no fear of an ego-free life.
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