While I was on vacation recently, there was an incident that really pushed my buttons. As you’ve heard me say many times, regardless how far along one is with one’s practice, even if you have turned your will and your life over to the care of your true Buddha nature, your ego is still a part of you, waiting for the opportunity ... a weak, unguarded moment ... to rise up and take control of the situation.
For the first time in years, I felt real anger if not rage. Thankfully, I was aware and felt this ego emotion rising within me. When I did, I said to myself, “It’s just the way it is.” And I returned to a state of calm. But it was a neutral kind of state ... I wasn’t agitated, but I felt no positive energy, I did not experience/savor the moment. (This was before my meditation and post on savoring each moment ... the “Boredom” post.)
The next morning when I meditated, this experience flashed through my mind and I let it sit there, observing it. And I realized that although I say a mantra every morning about sending the world love and compassion, I only do that abstractly or to people who do not face to face push my buttons.
I was reminded once again of the wisdom of the Buddha’s teaching. By holding on to these negative feelings, not being at one with such people, all I was doing was hurting myself by feeding my samsara and causing me to suffer. What I needed to do instead is be in conscious contact with my true Buddha nature and send such people love and compassion. I know that these people were a product of their own learned experience and like all of us were pretty much programmed by that experience to do what they do. Regardless their power or wealth, they suffer as do all of us.
As I sat and observed the incident, I let it play out but this time sending them love and compassion. What a difference I felt. Instead of just feeling calm, I felt the glowing warmth of positive energy. All traces of negativity vanished.
The challenge to implementing this practice in a real life situation is, as with all things spiritual, being aware. But if I am aware of the emotion as it arises, as I was that day on vacation and is often the case, then I will project love and compassion.
For the first time in years, I felt real anger if not rage. Thankfully, I was aware and felt this ego emotion rising within me. When I did, I said to myself, “It’s just the way it is.” And I returned to a state of calm. But it was a neutral kind of state ... I wasn’t agitated, but I felt no positive energy, I did not experience/savor the moment. (This was before my meditation and post on savoring each moment ... the “Boredom” post.)
The next morning when I meditated, this experience flashed through my mind and I let it sit there, observing it. And I realized that although I say a mantra every morning about sending the world love and compassion, I only do that abstractly or to people who do not face to face push my buttons.
I was reminded once again of the wisdom of the Buddha’s teaching. By holding on to these negative feelings, not being at one with such people, all I was doing was hurting myself by feeding my samsara and causing me to suffer. What I needed to do instead is be in conscious contact with my true Buddha nature and send such people love and compassion. I know that these people were a product of their own learned experience and like all of us were pretty much programmed by that experience to do what they do. Regardless their power or wealth, they suffer as do all of us.
As I sat and observed the incident, I let it play out but this time sending them love and compassion. What a difference I felt. Instead of just feeling calm, I felt the glowing warmth of positive energy. All traces of negativity vanished.
The challenge to implementing this practice in a real life situation is, as with all things spiritual, being aware. But if I am aware of the emotion as it arises, as I was that day on vacation and is often the case, then I will project love and compassion.
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