As the saying goes, if you view something as a problem it will be a problem. When you label something, it sticks and has real impact. So when you label something as antagonistic, you will certainly feel that it is antagonistic. And you will suffer.
Buddhism on the other hand teaches that all the challenges we face in life are opportunities for growth, both spiritually and otherwise. It is the nature of man that he becomes stronger and grows when his mettle is tested, when he passes through the fire.
Find a way to make an opportunity out of a disappointment. Even if you “just” embrace the challenge and don’t label it as antagonistic, you will grow spiritually and you will not suffer over this challenge. It is something that you will accept as just being.
Never forget that as a monk once said to me, “It is up to you whether you suffer or not. All you need do is surrender your ego to your true Buddha nature.” Or as I like to phrase it, turn your will and your life over to the care of your true Buddha nature.
I put the “just” in quotes because I know only to well how difficult it is to do that, certainly with some consistency. But the more you do it, the easier it becomes. It is another daily process and challenge. It is not, as I thought for many years, a once and done thing.
Only you can find the oneness with your heart, your soul. Only you can say “no” to the drag of your ego-mind into its world of fear and anxiety, doubt and confusion, guilt and shame. It is your responsibility. What’s needed is awareness, clarity and discipline.
Give yourself a break; do something good for yourself and get over yourself. (See my post, “Get Over Yourself.”)