When we experience trauma and typically cannot express our pain, neither by speaking and often not even by crying let alone screaming, the throat chakra represses the pain and it is shoved deep down inside us, there to remain typically for our entire life. In my post, “Trauma,” I describe what the body and ego-mind do with that trauma and several ways to release the pain/trauma stored in the body and so heal.
I have often noted in different contexts that when we work to free ourselves from suffering, we usually need to identify what we need to free ourselves from with some specificity. For example, wanting to free yourself from all pain usually won’t work; you need to identify the source or type of the specific pain. Micro healing, if you will, rather than macro healing.
During a recent meditation, I became aware that my ego-mind had been deceiving me on an important matter. At one point during an earlier meditation, I had visited my inner child at moments of trauma, and I had been surprised to find that the child did not cry. I interpreted that as meaning that my true Buddha self was providing my inner child with the strength and self-confidence not to cry; to react with dispassion; that even though I had no awareness of it, my true Buddha self was helping me traverse these traumatic events.
Wrong. What I became aware of in my meditation was that on each of these occasions, what my inner child did was repress the pain and shove it deep down my throat chakra, never to have the light of day shine on it again. So painful were these events that the only way I could move forward was to banish the pain from my thought.
And so when I was doing my trauma exercises as described in my post, “Trauma,” these were not in my awareness as trauma. Instead I thought of them as disturbing events which impacted me, which I now embraced as part of my Heart’s Embrace practice, but not painful trauma because I had “seen” my inner child at those moments and he didn’t cry.
Now I knew otherwise. These were extremely painful moments and the pain had been repressed. And so now I did the exercise to open my throat chakra, allowing the pain to rise to the surface, and I voiced the pain, releasing it, not fearing it, and so no longer repressed, the healing process has begun.
I have often noted in different contexts that when we work to free ourselves from suffering, we usually need to identify what we need to free ourselves from with some specificity. For example, wanting to free yourself from all pain usually won’t work; you need to identify the source or type of the specific pain. Micro healing, if you will, rather than macro healing.
During a recent meditation, I became aware that my ego-mind had been deceiving me on an important matter. At one point during an earlier meditation, I had visited my inner child at moments of trauma, and I had been surprised to find that the child did not cry. I interpreted that as meaning that my true Buddha self was providing my inner child with the strength and self-confidence not to cry; to react with dispassion; that even though I had no awareness of it, my true Buddha self was helping me traverse these traumatic events.
Wrong. What I became aware of in my meditation was that on each of these occasions, what my inner child did was repress the pain and shove it deep down my throat chakra, never to have the light of day shine on it again. So painful were these events that the only way I could move forward was to banish the pain from my thought.
And so when I was doing my trauma exercises as described in my post, “Trauma,” these were not in my awareness as trauma. Instead I thought of them as disturbing events which impacted me, which I now embraced as part of my Heart’s Embrace practice, but not painful trauma because I had “seen” my inner child at those moments and he didn’t cry.
Now I knew otherwise. These were extremely painful moments and the pain had been repressed. And so now I did the exercise to open my throat chakra, allowing the pain to rise to the surface, and I voiced the pain, releasing it, not fearing it, and so no longer repressed, the healing process has begun.
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