Once again, my thinking mind has used my spiritual practice to create a trap for me. I believe that if live my life well ... that is, in accord with the Five Precepts and Six Paramitas ... that all will be well, that the future will take care of itself, because regardless what life throws at me or how far I stray, I will always return to my true Buddha nature and be in touch with my inner strength, present, aware of the emptiness of all five skandhas, experiencing things directly with dispassion, not ruled by fear and anger, and able to make decisions that are in my best interest,
At some point, however, I changed this mantra to say, I believe that if I live each moment well ... And during the past few months as I’ve been contemplating some changes in my life, I have felt much stress, anxiety, and doubt.
What I realized while meditating the other morning was that my revised mantra had created a new fear within me ... that if I did not live each moment well, the consequences would be bad. My mind had created it’s own trap because I know that I won’t be spiritually centered, aware, 24/7. And so I had fear about the process I was going through. Basically I couldn’t trust myself.
However, I do believe without any doubt that regardless how unaware I may be for much of the day, at a minimum I will return to my true Buddha nature once a day when I meditate each morning. And at that time I will realize what transpired the previous day, have a teachable moment, be present, and center myself once again.
And with that faith and knowledge, I have no fear of the unknown, nor fear of the known, because there is nothing to fear; fear is just a thought in my thinking mind and I am aware of the emptiness of all five skandhas. Regardless what life throws my way, I know I will always return to my true Buddha nature each day and be at peace and content.
And if I am present, at peace and content, not ruled by fear and anger, in conscious contact with my true Buddha nature, there is nothing that can harm me. In that space, I know that the only thing that’s important is for me to follow my purpose, which is to offer others joy and help relieve the suffering of others, to respect my body and my mind, to live within my means, and to be in touch with nature.
At some point, however, I changed this mantra to say, I believe that if I live each moment well ... And during the past few months as I’ve been contemplating some changes in my life, I have felt much stress, anxiety, and doubt.
What I realized while meditating the other morning was that my revised mantra had created a new fear within me ... that if I did not live each moment well, the consequences would be bad. My mind had created it’s own trap because I know that I won’t be spiritually centered, aware, 24/7. And so I had fear about the process I was going through. Basically I couldn’t trust myself.
However, I do believe without any doubt that regardless how unaware I may be for much of the day, at a minimum I will return to my true Buddha nature once a day when I meditate each morning. And at that time I will realize what transpired the previous day, have a teachable moment, be present, and center myself once again.
And with that faith and knowledge, I have no fear of the unknown, nor fear of the known, because there is nothing to fear; fear is just a thought in my thinking mind and I am aware of the emptiness of all five skandhas. Regardless what life throws my way, I know I will always return to my true Buddha nature each day and be at peace and content.
And if I am present, at peace and content, not ruled by fear and anger, in conscious contact with my true Buddha nature, there is nothing that can harm me. In that space, I know that the only thing that’s important is for me to follow my purpose, which is to offer others joy and help relieve the suffering of others, to respect my body and my mind, to live within my means, and to be in touch with nature.
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