It is rare to see someone who radiates light. The Buddha is said to have radiated light; his skin glowed. The one Vietnamese monk who taught me in Michigan always radiated light. Occasionally we come across people in various settings who radiate light. My friend once told me of a young man he came across sweeping the floor when in NYC who glowed while he was working.
And of course toddlers/babies often radiate light (which as I've written is a major reason why people are so attracted to them). Their ego has not yet formed and so they are closer to the person they were when they were born – pure, unburdened by fear, trusting, full of love. In film, the little boy in Close Encounters of a Third Kind (Terry Garr's son who had been abducted by the aliens) truly radiated light.
We know of course what happens to man as toddlers grow up. In his early childhood and the following years, his ego is formed by his mind's reaction to his life experiences, and because of their nature he becomes trapped by insecurity, fear, anxiety, and other neuroses. These emotions are what controls his life, how he relates to himself and those around him.
And so we who walk the Buddhist path, having heard the truth of the Buddha dharma, work to free ourselves from these emotions and perceptions, using the Four Noble Truths, the Noble Eightfold Path, and all parts of the Buddha dharma. By understanding how we have become what we are, the door is open to us to change our lives, to return to the pure state we once inhabited.
But as anyone who has walked the path knows, including those who have done so with great discipline and intent, as witnessed by this blog, freeing ourselves with consistency, finding that pure state within us, is a huge challenge. Even as, my practice has deepened considerably in the past few months with the addition of a new connection with the divine within me (as I've explained in many posts), and I have invited the child of the universe within me into my subconscious, to be my subconscious, so that "I am filled with abundance and light, faith and strength, humility, freedom of fear ,and jo,," I cannot say that I usually or even often radiate light.
The other morning when I was meditating/praying, I realized the reason: one cannot radiate light if one is in the grip of fear. Now, I would say that in general I am not in the grip of fear, in terms of my everyday actions and experiences. This is past.
However, I think my ambiance, my conditioning, is still largely one of fear and insecurity, and so despite my not feeling or responding to fear in my everyday life, that ambiance is still present – what I've referred to in writing as the "grey cloud" that follows me – and is the cause of the frown that my facial muscles typically form.
I don't think there is anything I can do short term to replace this ambiance, it has after all been formed by the previous 80 years of my life. But what I can do and what I have been doing to increase the moments when fear is not part of my ambience is to consciously be aware of the joy, the gratefulness, the wonder I feel in whatever I am doing or experiencing in the moment.
And so I recite the following mantra throughout the day: "I rejoice in the Lord and am happy, I sing and am happy, I'm awake and am happy, I am grateful and am happy, I am filled with wonder and am happy, I know that things are the way they are because it is meant to be, it's all ok and am happy, I am humble and am happy."
Not only do I recite the mantra, but as I go through the day, experiencing things, I say out loud or to myself how grateful I am, how filled with wonder I am, etc. Or as I pass strangers I will say "hello" to them in my mind. And when I express those thoughts, respond to my environment in that way, I am happy and I do radiate light.
And at some point, I know this will become my default ambience. I will have truly transformed my life.
And of course toddlers/babies often radiate light (which as I've written is a major reason why people are so attracted to them). Their ego has not yet formed and so they are closer to the person they were when they were born – pure, unburdened by fear, trusting, full of love. In film, the little boy in Close Encounters of a Third Kind (Terry Garr's son who had been abducted by the aliens) truly radiated light.
We know of course what happens to man as toddlers grow up. In his early childhood and the following years, his ego is formed by his mind's reaction to his life experiences, and because of their nature he becomes trapped by insecurity, fear, anxiety, and other neuroses. These emotions are what controls his life, how he relates to himself and those around him.
And so we who walk the Buddhist path, having heard the truth of the Buddha dharma, work to free ourselves from these emotions and perceptions, using the Four Noble Truths, the Noble Eightfold Path, and all parts of the Buddha dharma. By understanding how we have become what we are, the door is open to us to change our lives, to return to the pure state we once inhabited.
But as anyone who has walked the path knows, including those who have done so with great discipline and intent, as witnessed by this blog, freeing ourselves with consistency, finding that pure state within us, is a huge challenge. Even as, my practice has deepened considerably in the past few months with the addition of a new connection with the divine within me (as I've explained in many posts), and I have invited the child of the universe within me into my subconscious, to be my subconscious, so that "I am filled with abundance and light, faith and strength, humility, freedom of fear ,and jo,," I cannot say that I usually or even often radiate light.
The other morning when I was meditating/praying, I realized the reason: one cannot radiate light if one is in the grip of fear. Now, I would say that in general I am not in the grip of fear, in terms of my everyday actions and experiences. This is past.
However, I think my ambiance, my conditioning, is still largely one of fear and insecurity, and so despite my not feeling or responding to fear in my everyday life, that ambiance is still present – what I've referred to in writing as the "grey cloud" that follows me – and is the cause of the frown that my facial muscles typically form.
I don't think there is anything I can do short term to replace this ambiance, it has after all been formed by the previous 80 years of my life. But what I can do and what I have been doing to increase the moments when fear is not part of my ambience is to consciously be aware of the joy, the gratefulness, the wonder I feel in whatever I am doing or experiencing in the moment.
And so I recite the following mantra throughout the day: "I rejoice in the Lord and am happy, I sing and am happy, I'm awake and am happy, I am grateful and am happy, I am filled with wonder and am happy, I know that things are the way they are because it is meant to be, it's all ok and am happy, I am humble and am happy."
Not only do I recite the mantra, but as I go through the day, experiencing things, I say out loud or to myself how grateful I am, how filled with wonder I am, etc. Or as I pass strangers I will say "hello" to them in my mind. And when I express those thoughts, respond to my environment in that way, I am happy and I do radiate light.
And at some point, I know this will become my default ambience. I will have truly transformed my life.
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