ThePracticalBuddhist.com - The Practical Buddhist Blog - Practical Advice on Integrating the Practice of Buddhism in Contemporary Life

We Are Not Meant to Suffer

9/16/2021

The Buddha said:
"If it causes you suffering, it is not you, it is not yours,
it is not your self, for your self would cause you no suffering." This quote appears in the original Pali canon, as translated in The Life of the Buddha, Bhikkhu Nanamoli.

Although psychic suffering is universal, it is the state of mankind because of the way man has developed his culture. Suffering is not inherent in man because man is born with the true Buddha nature, luminous, the divine essence inside him (see my post, "Buddhism and the Divine"), and that nature knows no psychic suffering.

This truth is central to the process of implementing the Four Noble Truths and the Noble Eightfold Path.   Here's how it works.

The Buddha said that suffering is caused by craving.  Realizing that our mind and its emotions, judgments, cravings, and attachments are the cause of our suffering, not the events we experience or aspects of our being, is the key that opens the door to freeing ourselves from the control of our mind and our psychic suffering.

For since our mind causes us suffering, we know from what the Buddha taught that the mind is not our true self, and so we can say to all five skandhas, "Not me!"    And so not engage them and return home to our true self, our heart, which is light, love, faith, trust, compassion, humility, gratefulness, joy, contentment, strength, courage, and wisdom.

This in turn enables us to open our hearts and embrace all aspects of our being and experience – past, present, and future – and know that we will be safe, ok, regardless what life throws our way. Because we have returned home to our heart, our true Buddha nature, our divine essence, are sustained by the love of that nature/essence, and so experience abundance and light, happiness and contentment, peace and equanimity, faith and strength.

And so nothing offends, all internal and external struggle cease, we know we have everything we need inside ourselves to be at peace and happy, and allow nothing to disturb that peace and happiness.

This is the core of the spiritual path. They are the truths that lie behind all of my posts, my books, and my videos.

May you experience peace and happiness.

Joy - A Hopefully Final Take

9/14/2021

I have written many posts about joy. This is something I've obviously struggled with. The monk in Michigan always used to say, "Take joy in everything you do," and yet I found that very difficult to do, regardless how my concept of joy morphed and deepened over the years.

In my last post on this subject, I recounted my going to my spiritual advisor and her telling me that I wasn't able to experience joy on a regular basis because I was raised as an adult and the joy was taken away from me. I had to go back and reclaim the narrative of my life, reclaim that joy.

Which I did, but I did not sit with the new narrative for long and so its truth did not permeate the considerable barrier of my mind.

Recently I have again been troubled by my inability to experience joy as a regular part of my existence, despite my having come to know that I am sustained by the love of God, my true Buddha nature, within me. And that I thus experience abundance and light, happiness and contentment, peace and equanimity, faith and strength.

As I sat with this, I remembered what my spiritual advisor had told me and I went back and reread my reclaimed narrative. updated by a recent trip to my boyhood neighborhood. This is something I need to read again and again over the course of some time. I need to create a new movie in my mind to supplant the old.

But I also came back to the question of the definition of joy. I had said that experiencing joy was not the same as being joyful, which was a heightened state. A look at the dictionary recently taught me that I was wrong. Joy is defined as "the emotion of great delight," "elation," "a source of keen pleasure or delight. "

Certainly given what I learned about my being a Capricorn, that it is my nature, my birthright, to be serious, to expect myself to experience such a feeling in each passing moment is not realistic. Indeed, I don't know that it's realistic for any person.

However, other words came to mind then. I have always said that one of the challenges of spiritual teaching is how thoughts are expressed. Using the wrong word can create a barrier where none should exist.

The first word I thought of was "value," as in "find value in each passing moment." That is something that I believed without any hesitancy. Even moments when bad things happen are to be valued because they are an opportunity for spiritual growth. But when I used that phrase in my meditation mantras, I found that expression somewhat depressing. Was that all there was to each passing moment - value? It's a cold word.

The second word I thought of was "cherish," as in "cherish each passing moment." When I sat with that wording, I found it both right and uplifting. It brought my mind back to a video I had seen several years ago about cherishing just being alive! It was such a novel thought to me when I saw the video, and I must be honest and say that it still is today. But that is what is at the heart of cherishing each passing moment. Yes the moment may be of value regardless how painful, or it may just be a rather blah moment from most perspectives. Or of course it might be a lovely moment. Regardless, each moment is to be cherished because you are alive, breathing and feeling.

And so while i would still say that my purpose in life is to offer myself and others joy, I do that by modest things that all together result in experiencing joy, in the sense of pleasure and happiness.

If I cherish each passing moment regardless what is going on, sustained by the love of God inside me. If I connect with the positive energy in my heart. If I release all desire that my life be different in any way from that way it is right now at this moment. If I am aware of all the things I am grateful for. If I love myself unconditionally and have compassion for myself.

If I do all of these things, and if I reclaim my ability to experience the joy I had as a toddler, then I will experience joy. Every human being, whether of a serious nature of not, has the ability to experience joy.

Money and Spirituality

9/5/2021

Recently, I listened to a video with an usual, but wise, take on money and spirituality.

Many people think there's something wrong about being spiritual and having wealth, especially making money from offering spiritual advice. I don't know if it's because of the history of monks and priests taking vows of poverty. I don't know if it's because money is connected with business, and that is a decidedly unspiritual place. I know I have had feelings that it was unseemly when someone became quite rich from spiritual writings.

But is that perspective grounded in a spiritual truth? Money is considered bad by spiritual people because it is often obtained through unethical behavior, corruption, exploitation, etc. People who crave money will do almost anything to obtain money.

Also money obtained is often put to use in very unspiritual ways . . . conspicuous consumption, gainer power over others, flaunting oneself.

These very statements, however, make clear that it is not money pre se that is tainted, it is the things that people will do to obtain money and how they use it. Money is not the root of all evil, it is our culture's obsession with money that is the root of all evil.

Therefore, there is nothing inherently wrong with making money through spiritual products or services, or being spiritual and making lots of money. The important point is that one does not do what you do as a way of solving the problem: how to make money. One does this out of love and responsibility and devotion, and yes, secondarily, to bring in money. Second, that if you do obtain wealth, after taking care of your reasonable needs, you use it to benefit others.

The other point to remember is that in our society, people, even those spirituality-minded, listen to those who are acknowledged leaders, who have that power. In the spiritual realm, unless you're a monk, the only source of that kind of esteem is evidence that your product sells, is valued by others. So doing well financially is actually critically important to one's efforts to share the dharma and make a difference in people's lives.

Therefore, for people who see themselves as having a spiritual purpose, such as myself, it is imperative that they be sufficiently successful at it that people are drawn to read their books and partake of their services.

Nature of Mind Revealed - A Transformation

8/21/2021

There is no more important understanding than knowing the nature of mind. If you've watched my videos or read my writings, you know that my perspective on the ego mind is that it is our adversary in our intent and efforts to walk the Buddhist path. It's emotions, judgments, cravings, and attachments . . . its constant 'what if" questioning . . . pull us away from the Buddha dharma, And its power over us is great because its roots are deep within us and it's voice is all we've known our whole life. I just didn't realize how deep.

I thus developed the practice I've explained of saying "no" to the guidance of my ego-mind and looking instead to my heart, my true Buddha self, for guidance. My ego mind may always be a part of me, but I could not allow it to control me.

I always thought of my ego-mind and Buddha mind as being separate, either at first two separate entities or later two opposite poles on one spectrum as I came to understand that we have only one mind. And so I worked at surrendering my ego-mind to my true Buddha nature, or as I reframed it, turning my will and my life over to the care of my true Buddha nature.

This was to a large extent successful. Through engaging in a variety of practices that I've described in posts, and in particular The Heart's Embrace, I was able to free myself from the control of the emotions and judgments of my ego-mind and be at peace, having returned home to my true Buddha nature.

Yet as I've related previously, I still felt there was a grey cloud hanging over me; I was at peace but experienced little joy. And my ego-mind would sneak up on me with some regularity and cause me and those around me suffering.

It was at that point that a friend said that I talk about the ego-mind as if it weren't mine. I realized then that I needed to embrace my ego-mind as part of The Heart's Embrace. I had embraced specific trauma, my life as it presently is, and the future, que sera sera, but I had not specifically embraced my ego-mind, and as I have written often, it is crucial when doing spiritual exercises to name the specific things you are working on; general measures are not effective.

You could well wonder how, when listing major aspects of my being and experience, I did not include my ego-mind? The answer is that although I knew it was part of me, and always would be part of me, I knew it wasn't my true self. Also, I now realize that all the things I embraced were external things or my reaction to those things. I didn't really embrace myself.

And so, as I related in my post, "Don't Just Say No To Your Mind," what I started doing when my ego-mind (which I now refer to just as "the mind") asserted itself was to still say "no" to it, but embrace it, say this is not how we respond to things, and provide it guidance from my heart. I knew this was going in the right direction, but something was still missing, I felt distanced, it felt forced.

Then one recent morning when I meditated and I spoke these words (silently), I realized that my mind was like a child, it is my inner child, who without any guidance had developed its own way of reacting to life experiences and it was just all wrong; it was thus creating suffering for me. My mind, my inner child, my wounded inner child were all one. No wonder the hold of the mind on us is so strong.

And so I did as I would to my child – say "no," embrace it, saying with loving kindness that this isn't how we respond, and provide it guidance from my heart.

Although the words are the same as I just had stated previously, the feeling, the manner of expression was very different. This time when I embraced my mind it was out of love, love for my inner child, love for myself. And so I have reached a point of unconditional love for my mind. It is my errant inner child who must be directed and guided, but who I love unconditionally.

Wow! Who would have thought?

May you experience peace and happiness.

How to Live in Our World

8/13/2021

It's one thing to meditate while sitting on your cushion. It's another thing to interact with the world throughout the day, remaining true to your spiritual practice.

Why is it so difficult to not "fall off the wagon" and get entangled in your emotions, judgments, cravings, etc.? The answer is simply that we were raised and have lived our whole lives in a culture that is inimical to the Buddhist path. I'm 77 years old, so even though I've been a practicing Buddhist for 27 years, I spent 50 years being molded by our culture and all the neuroses that I developed in early childhood.

Now you're trying to change the paradigms of your life. And that is not easy. I have always taught that we live in this world and we can't change it. But we don't have to interact with the world on its, the culture's, terms. We must interact with it on our own spiritual terms. This is laid out in detail with specific examples in my book, Making Your Way in Life as a Buddhist.

Then one recent morning I had a very interesting and empowering experience. I woke up in a funk, probably because I have been trying to get a project off the ground and I recently sent emails to a number of people, 3 of whom I new rather well. And I have heard back from no one.

One option to deal with this type of situation would have been to say, it's summer, people are traveling now that restrictions are lifted, etc. so it's not reasonable to expect a quick response even though that's what I would have done after receiving that email. That would have been good, it would have temporarily ended my frustration, but that's all.

I also could have said, "It's just the way it is." That would have provided permanent closure to my mild case of angst.

What I realized instead during my meditation is that while I may be dependent on others for the success of ventures where I'm trying to make money or be heard, I am not dependent on any one or any thing for my peace and happiness. I know that I have everything I need inside myself to be at peace and happy.

The way to be a Buddhist and live in this world, free of frustration, is to realize that the two worlds I am inhabiting are distinct and discrete; they interact but they are discrete. There's the real world out there and there's my spiritual world – how I relate to myself and the world around me.

I know that all I need to be at peace and happy is to offer myself and others joy, to be in the company of loved ones and friends, to respect my mind, to respect my body, to be in touch with nature, and to live within my means. (For a detailed discussion of these steps, see my post, "Happiness - What You Need to Be Happy.")

Regardless of the material or other situation you are in, you have the power and the choice to be at peace and happy rather than agitated by any factual hardship or frustration at the situation. Again this is hard for someone who has been formed by this culture to truly accept, rather than just mouth the words. In our culture, having enough money has a very real impact on one's peace and happiness. And so it is easy to confound the two. But that is the province of the mind, not your heart, your true self.

When I saw clearly the demarcation between the two worlds, a load was lifted off my back. There is nothing that is more important to me than to be at peace and happy (see my post, "What's Most Important to You?"). My efforts on this and other projects, and the results, are what they are. Period. They have no impact on my peace and happiness.

Post-script: When I reread this before posting, I thought, is this last statement true? When I get good news or bad news, I certainly feel that my peace and happiness is impacted. But I realized that that impact is momentary. Within a short time frame I have regained by normal equilibrium, Whatever the situation is, it has become my new "present."

I Am Being Reborn

8/5/2021

Part of my mantras for years is that I am one with my unborn Buddha mind (from the teachings of Zen Master Bankai) and that I turn my will and my life over to its care. And while I have indeed done that, with increasing success, over the years, anyone reading my blog will know that I have with some regularity been pulled from this path by the power of my mind.

Recently, as related in my post, "Replacing Weakness with Strength," I identified for the first time in my 25+ years of Buddhist practice that I have felt weak in my personal relationships. And that this weakness has caused actions that have brought on much suffering both for myself and for those dearest to me, despite all the progress I have made in walking the path.

As related in that post, i am now in the process of freeing myself from that feeling of weakness with the help of my Buddha nature, my divine essence, and the universe. (One needs all the help one can get.) Replacing it with the strength that is within me,

When I meditated this morning, I realized that having finally identified the central aspect of my samsara, of my false core beliefs, and intending to free myself from that perspective and asking for the help of my Buddha nature et al in doing so, that I have removed the last barrier, I think, to truly being at one with my unborn Buddha mind. Which is to be reborn, because then one is in the state in which you were born, free of all feelings and perspectives that were acquired with life's experiences.

Many years ago, years before I found Buddhism, I was working with someone who used the Course in Miracles to help people get over their problems. At the end of our working together, he went through a rebirthing process with me. But it didn't work. Obviously, I was not ready for that yet.

Being reborn is a valid and essential step on the spiritual path, although I had not heard it mentioned as such in any Buddhist teaching until I recently Googled it. Unfortunately, the phrase has been given a bad name by all the Evangelicals who claim to be reborn and have a "personal" relationship with God. But it is clear from their pronouncements and actions that they are not reborn in the sense of being at one with the divine essence, for they are full of prejudice, hatred, and pride, to name just a few of the emotions that are not reflective of divine essence.

The problem with the Evangelical process of being reborn is that they make contact with God as they have been taught he exists. It is a God who views with skepticism if not contempt those, including other Christians, who do not accept his truths as stated in the Bible, which they view as His word and inerrant. It is quite astounding how fervent followers of Jesus Christ can act and think in ways that are massively contrary to "what Jesus would do" as evidenced by his teachings and actions as related in the New Testament.

And so forget about all the people who go on about being reborn. Focus instead on the core emotions and judgments that prevent you from being one with your true self, your unborn Buddha mind.

When you have identified those forces and freed yourself from their control, you will be reborn, you will be one with your unborn Buddha mind. You will view yourself and the world around you in a way which would have been hard to even imagine in your former state. Because you will have reached the state of nirvana, you will see nothing but the truth before your eyes. You will be sustained by the strength, love, and light of your unborn Buddha mind, your divine essence, and so experience abundance, be happy and content, and at peace.

Replacing Weakness with Strength

7/28/2021

I have been well-aware of the trauma I have suffered at different times in my life and the impact that it has had on me. The creation of fear, feeing there's something wrong with me, insecurity, feeling that I'm not worthy of love or that love is conditional. Those are certainly core emotions/perspectives that have fed my samsara and which, through the grace of my Buddhist practice, I have been able to free myself from over the course of many years.

But as a reader of my blog will know, there are still moments, all too regularly, when my mind sneaks up on me, causes me to act in ways not in my best interest, causing me and those dearest to me suffering. Sitting recently with this fact of my life, after someone brought weakness to my attention the night before, I realized with some amazement that I have never used the word "weak" or "weakness" to describe any feelings of mine or the the results, the impact of my trauma.

That word was taboo to me. I could face all other maladies but that. Why? Because it was totally against my self-image. I had built a self-image of being strong. And professionally, in my relationship with my work life, I was indeed strong because I was certain of the quality and power of my mental ability.

This reality of my professional life was carried over and was a façade for my personal life. I knew I had problems stemming from my childhood. I knew I was insecure, etc. , but I was not weak.

And because I did not identify this affliction, this emotion, all the work that I have done did not heal it, did not free myself from its control. I have written often that one must identify and name the emotion or action that one has the intent of being free of. Global intents don't work.

So now I have named the emotion, "feeling weak. " And I have found in my meditation that so many things about my daily actions relating to others have become clear to me. I have stopped lying to myself and to them about what I was feeling when I did what I did.

There is strength and power in just naming and recognizing the force operating against your best interests. But the real key is when you replace that force with a positive force, in this case "strength."

Recognizing the strength of my true Buddha nature, my true self, my heart has been part of my mantra for decades, but it was never something I focused on; it was just stated. Now, however, I have focused on that strength and the light and faith that it is based on. My strength comes from being sustained by the love of my Buddha nature, my divine essence, within me.

I am aware now in my meditation, that it is only my strength that gives me the ability to be present, to not engage the mind's endless "what ifs." And when I am not in touch with my strength, when my feeling of weakness is in control, I am lost to all my spiritual intents and act towards myself and others in decidedly harmful ways.

In my daily meditation, and throughout the day, I am watering the seeds of my strength, keeping it uppermost in my mind, in my awareness. It is the beginning of yet another new day, a new plateau in walking the spiritual path.

Craving "Survival" Condemns You to Suffering

7/21/2021

Why is it that people, even those who are walking the path, find it so difficult to free themselves from the past, from their fears and anxieties, their cravings, and so enable them to end their suffering and find peace?

As I've written in the past, "Survival - The Force that Controls Our Life," the fear of not surviving, the fear of dying (which for many is a form of not surviving), is nourished by all the "what if's" that our mind throws at us continually, becoming primal forces that create cravings and anxieties that overwhelm us.

Survival of course is a basic force of nature. It is present not just in humans, but in all sentient beings and even bacteria and plant life. Survival is an essential force behind evolution, the survival of the fittest.

But whereas for all other forms of life, survival is defined by the forces of nature, for humans, survival is defined by the world that man has created, its social and work structure, and by the expectations that our culture fosters. For man, to survive does not mean to stay alive, it means to have various levels of creature comfort and wealth, depending on one's social background and that to which one aspires.

There is only one way to free oneself from the suffering that comes from being tied to the values of the culture in which we live. And that way isn't to succeed, to achieve success, because we not only always want more but we fear losing what we have. And so even the rich and powerful suffer.

The only way to free oneself is to not submit oneself to the values of our culture and follow a different path . . . the Buddhist path or another spiritual path. This does not mean that one has to physically flee the culture, to live off-grid in isolation or in a monastery. It does mean that you must deal with yourself and the world around you on your terms, spiritual terms, not the culture's.

For such a person, survival means first and foremost remaining in touch with his true self, his Buddha nature, his faith - which as I explain in my post, "Buddhism and the Divine," is his divine essence. It does not even mean staying alive because death is a part of life; when it comes, it comes. Such a person is lit by a light from within that nothing external can extinguish.

To evolve into such a person, you develop faith in your Buddha nature, in your heart, and that you will be ok, safe, regardless what life throws your way because you have returned home and will always return home to your true Buddha nature, be sustained by the love of that nature, and so experience abundance, be happy and content, and at peace.

And instead of either feeling a victim or feeling that you have the power to achieve whatever you want and are so driven, you have the humility and faith to trust in the guidance you receive from your heart, your Buddha nature, and channel that energy into action that you pursue with diligence but without attachment; if it happens, great, if it doesn't that's ok too.

And so you have no buttons to be pushed. You are always at peace and happy. And allow nothing to disturb that peace and happiness. Free of all mental obstructions, you experience all things with dispassion, your mind rests undisturbed, and so nothing offends. You are very aware of all the things that are not right in this world and you act in your own small way to make this a better place to live, but you have no mission to save the world.

To reach this state of mind, you have to acknowledge that the way you've been leading your life isn't working. Playing the game isn't working. Even if it is bringing you success, money, it is not working in that despite achieving what you have achieved, you are still insecure and suffer.

We are not raised in this culture to be humble. Whether rich or poor, humility is not a learned experience. Indeed we learn it is dangerous to be humble. Yet humility is an essential step to reconnecting with your true self, your Buddha nature, your heart, your divine essence, and ending your suffering.

Rejoice and Be Happy - II

7/11/2021

I related in my previous post of this title, how the video I watched of Sister Sharon led me to experience this wonderful powerful energy. But although I connected with this energy frequently, I could not say it came from within me. I thought of the phrase, and when I recalled the words, said them, I felt its energy.

In the meantime, I have watched other videos of spiritualists with strong positive energy, especially Valerie Love. She explains that her power comes from being sustained by the love of God within her, which I noted in a previous post after I adopted that affirmation, changing God to Buddha.

More recently I watched one of her videos in which she explained that all of her feeling of abundance also comes from her being sustained by the love of God within her. It's not money, or things, or other people that give her the feeling of abundance and power.

When you watch her, if you are open, you cannot help but absorb some of her positive energy. And as I have sat with that, she has helped me see the light of life.

And so this morning when I woke up, I said, "rejoice and be happy." It came deep from within. Whatever problems I had been struggling with, projects I was attempting to get off the ground, they were all placed in a different perspective. I knew as I have known before that I have everything inside myself to be at peace and happy. But now, sustained by the love of my Buddha nature inside me, and aware of the abundance I experience because of that love, I was able to truly rejoice and be happy.

To say that it changed my day is an understatement. It is a blessing to be at peace, to not be plagued by the mind, to not have one's buttons pushed, to accept and have faith. But to be joyful and happy at the same time, that is a true gift.

Reprogram Your Mind to End Your Suffering

7/2/2021

First, let's accept some things. Life is the way it is. We experience what we experience. For the most part, we have no control over these things. What we do have control over, at least potentially, is how we react or respond to these events, and thus whether we suffer or are content and happy.

I say "potentially" because we have been trained, raised, to be insecure and to respond to negative life events with fear and anxiety. These emotions and perceptions are a product of our mind. We have been programmed to respond to life in this way. This is true of virtually everyone. It is true of our parents and their parents, and it is true of us. We are part of a cycle of insecure people raising insecure children who become insecure adults who raise insecure children.

But it doesn't have to be that way. While our mind got us into this mess, we can also use the rational thought aspect of the mind to get us out of it. The key is to use the mind, rather have the mind use and control us.

And how does one accomplish that? I have written many posts on this subject, including a summary, "How to Free Yourself from the Control of Your Ego-Mind."

But to put it most simply, one has to first be aware and accept that you suffer (feel anxiety, fear, frustration, etc.) because of the way you have been trained to respond to life, not because of the events themselves or aspects of your being. It is in fact possible to respond with dispassion, with equanimity, to these same facts.

Next you have to say to these emotions and perceptions, "Not me!" while reconnecting with your true self which is your heart. And so while you free yourself from these negative feelings, you replace them with feelings of light, love, faith, trust, compassion, humility, gratefulness, joy, contentment, strength, courage, and wisdom – all the properties of your heart. It is critical that you replace your negative thoughts with positive ones; otherwise, the negative ones will just flood back in.

And you must repeat these affirmations or mantras, whatever you want to call them, on a daily basis as part of your meditation practice. Your are attempting to reprogram your mind, to change the paradigms of your life, and that takes both time and constant watering of these seeds. Especially since you will get no support in this effort from society and your mind will not give up its habit-energies easily.

There are many things you can do to support this effort, and they are mentioned in the post. The main thing is to not lose faith; do not give in to or be discouraged by the constant badgering of your mind with its "what if's" and emotional reactions. You cannot get to the space you want without slogging through a gauntlet that can at times seem never-ending.

There is light at the end of the tunnel. Even though your mind will still ambush you, you will find that more and more you will hear and follow the guidance of your heart and thus find that events don't agitate you. You will be very clear about what's going on, but not agitated, and so find that you are able to make sound decisions about what actions to take or not.