ThePracticalBuddhist.com - The Practical Buddhist Blog - Practical Advice on Integrating the Practice of Buddhism in Contemporary Life

Humility - How to Gain It?

10/2/2024

I have written posts on Humility several times before over the years, but while what they said was true, they really didn't get to the meat of things.

As humans, we want what we want, when we want it. We want to feel self-sufficient. And we are prideful. All those things are the opposite of humility, as they are based on the desire and thought that we want to be in control and can be in control.

How untrue that is. While there may be small things that we can control. we have no control of the larger things in life. We can plan as carefully as possible, but still we are not in control, if for no other reason than much of what we desire involves other people, and unless you're the devil, there is no way to control other people. You can be as smart as possible in how you approach others, and increase the chance that people will respond positively to you, but you have no control. This is one reason why we tend to be so frustrated.

I first understood that I had no control when I came to the realization not just that things are they way they are because it's just the way it is, but that it is meant to be, and that it's all ok. It is the laws of the universe and the laws of developed man that determine what happens and when, whether it's a natural occurrence or human interaction. (See my post, "It's Just the Way It Is and It's All OK.")

When I came to that truth, it was profoundly humbling because I knew that I had no control. And surprisingly, that realization was not unsettling. Instead, because of my faith in the Buddha dharma, it was a huge relief knowing that I had no control. Saying "your will, not my mind's," became a relief.

I still need to put skin in the game; things will not happen/appear like manna from heaven. But I know I am not the mover, I am not the provider.

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Burying Your Old Identity - II - Separating Yourself from Your Old Identity

8/6/2024

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Several years ago, I wrote a post, "Burying Your Identity." This was a follow-up to teaching I had received that in order to do what you are meant to do, you need to get rid of your old self, your false self, your ego, and create a new self, a new subconscious for your self. In my case, since I had taken a Dharma name when I took my precepts many years ago, that Dharma name, Hanh Niêm, which means "virtue of mindfulness," was connected with my true self, my unborn Buddha mind, the child of the universe within me. And so I took that identity and buried Ronnie.

But I found that burying my false self, my ego, did not work; And so I looked to other practices to free myself from my false self. But as you know if you've been reading this blog, they did not work either. Recently, I realized why burying my false self didn't work. It's like when someone with great influence over you, for good or bad, dies. His or her death doesn't lessen the influence over you. And so burying Ronnie didn't work.

Instead, I realized that what I needed to do was separate myself from Ronnie, disassociate myself from him completely, as I had from my family several years before. And for the same reason. They had harmed me in a major way. So to had Ronnie, continually. I don't feel estranged from them; they just don't exist for me any more as family. So to with Ronnie.

And so Ronnie no longer exists for me. His mind does not exist. His ego does not exist. He is not a part of me. And I feel a huge sense of relief and freedom.

Yet I know without doubt that Ronnie will make every effort and take every opportunity to sneak back into my life, and by taking control of me if only for an instant, cause me suffering. And indeed he has. He will not do this to cause me suffering, but that will be the effect of his control.

So even though I have banished him from my world, I will still need to be vigilant. And unfortunately, he is not transparent like Mara was in his attempts to influence the Buddha, he sneaks up on me so that I am not aware he has taken control until after the fact, and that doesn't help me.

What I must do is what I said many years ago in a post, "Changing Your Life By Changing the Direction of Your Energy Flow." I must radiate light from my connection to the child of the universe within me and so create a forcefield around me that Ronnie's ego-mind, mara, and the devil cannot penetrate.

That has worked when I think of it, but I need to be in that space 24/7 to protect myself. I know this is the right path. And with my work on my humility. which I will report on in a future post, I have reason to have faith that this can be achieved.

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Faith and Mind - Take III

7/1/2024

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As you know if you have been reading this blog, while I am uaully in a spiritual space and so free of the emotions and feelings that cause buttons to be pushed by life's experiences, I fall off the wagon with some frequency when one particular button is pushed – the desire to be useful/needed and thus loved, especially to those dear to me. My ego-mind rears it's head regarding this need when I am not mindful, which is all too often.

After a recent episode of friction with my friend caused by my saying something stupid – which is to say, thoughtless – because I was not one with god and instead in the control of my ego-mind, I saw the light. After much grief, my friend told me once again that he felt I was doing something in my meditation/prayer that was not helping me. His feeling was that I had all these lists of things I should do or shouldn't do, that I was using my mind to find peace and freedom from suffering, and that that was a recipe for disaster.

He said that instead I needed to take a vacation from myself, from my mind, and just be one with god. When I meditated/prayed the next morning and recited the mantra, "when faith and mind are not separate, and not separate are mind and faith, this is beyond all words and thoughts," it hit me. There, in the words of this ancient Chinese poem, was the answer – which I had been reciting for decades, but without awareness, and so to no avail.

I was about to write a post on this, but first, I wanted to see what I had written on this subject in the past. Much to my chagrin, I found I had written two posts on this topic. and the second one made precisely the point that I just learned ... again. And that post was written in 2015, 9 years ago! See my post, "Faith and Mind Not Separate - 2."

How had I forgotten this spiritual lesson and so continued to cause both myself and those dear to me such needless suffering? Over the years, I had thought I was going deeper and deeper into my spiritual practice, but instead my ego-mind was leading me into a delusional state. I was still consistently falling off the wagon, causing suffering, and my response was to look for the next "causal factor" that I could fix, as I have reported in my posts, rather than going back to the simple truth I had learned so many years ago.

Hopefully I have finally learned my lesson. For the past few days I have resided in my faith. There has been no need to interject myself into the lives of others because that is their task. If they ask me a question, that is one thing. But otherwise, no. I am not "my brothers keeper." Instead, I have faith that things are the way they are because it's just the way it is; it is meant to be and all is ok. I have faith in the universe.

My faith has been revealed to me again from within, not by my mind searching for things that support my faith. And I am free of the conceit that I am someone's provider. The only provider is god, the universe.

As I was rereading some of my posts now, it was embarrassing to see their power, being aware of the truths they reveal, and yet knowing that for myself, my ego-mind never gave up control despite the words that I was writing or the truths that I was discovering. And because I was not awake, not aware of my mind's control, I was constantly surprised, vexed, when I would fall off the wagon.

My nature is to want to help people, for good reasons (spiritual) not just bad (psychological). As I enter this new phase of complete faith (the 12-step saying "half measures avail us nothing" certainly applies), I will still need to on guard against the psychological need to help/be needed asserting itself, especially when I am presented with someone dear to me in great distress.

I have learned the hard way that trying to help people often just causes more grief. Have faith. Don't offer help or guidance unless asked. Respect people's boundaries. Always remember, I am not my brother's keeper.

It all comes down to faith. Faith and mind not being separate.

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You Cannot Radiate Light If You Are Filled with Fear

6/8/2024

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It is rare to see someone who radiates light. The Buddha is said to have radiated light; his skin glowed. The one Vietnamese monk who taught me in Michigan always radiated light. Occasionally we come across people in various settings who radiate light. My friend once told me of a young man he came across sweeping the floor when in NYC who glowed while he was working.

And of course toddlers/babies often radiate light (which as I've written is a major reason why people are so attracted to them). Their ego has not yet formed and so they are closer to the person they were when they were born – pure, unburdened by fear, trusting, full of love. In film, the little boy in Close Encounters of a Third Kind (Terry Garr's son who had been abducted by the aliens) truly radiated light.

We know of course what happens to man as toddlers grow up. In his early childhood and the following years, his ego is formed by his mind's reaction to his life experiences, and because of their nature he becomes trapped by insecurity, fear, anxiety, and other neuroses. These emotions are what controls his life, how he relates to himself and those around him.

And so we who walk the Buddhist path, having heard the truth of the Buddha dharma, work to free ourselves from these emotions and perceptions, using the Four Noble Truths, the Noble Eightfold Path, and all parts of the Buddha dharma. By understanding how we have become what we are, the door is open to us to change our lives, to return to the pure state we once inhabited.

But as anyone who has walked the path knows, including those who have done so with great discipline and intent, as witnessed by this blog, freeing ourselves with consistency, finding that pure state within us, is a huge challenge. Even as, my practice has deepened considerably in the past few months with the addition of a new connection with the divine within me (as I've explained in many posts), and I have invited the child of the universe within me into my subconscious, to be my subconscious, so that "I am filled with abundance and light, faith and strength, humility, freedom of fear ,and jo,," I cannot say that I usually or even often radiate light.

The other morning when I was meditating/praying, I realized the reason: one cannot radiate light if one is in the grip of fear. Now, I would say that in general I am not in the grip of fear, in terms of my everyday actions and experiences. This is past.

However, I think my ambiance, my conditioning, is still largely one of fear and insecurity, and so despite my not feeling or responding to fear in my everyday life, that ambiance is still present – what I've referred to in writing as the "grey cloud" that follows me – and is the cause of the frown that my facial muscles typically form.

I don't think there is anything I can do short term to replace this ambiance, it has after all been formed by the previous 80 years of my life. But what I can do and what I have been doing to increase the moments when fear is not part of my ambience is to consciously be aware of the joy, the gratefulness, the wonder I feel in whatever I am doing or experiencing in the moment.

And so I recite the following mantra throughout the day: "I rejoice in the Lord and am happy, I sing and am happy, I'm awake and am happy, I am grateful and am happy, I am filled with wonder and am happy, I know that things are the way they are because it is meant to be, it's all ok and am happy, I am humble and am happy."

Not only do I recite the mantra, but as I go through the day, experiencing things, I say out loud or to myself how grateful I am, how filled with wonder I am, etc. Or as I pass strangers I will say "hello" to them in my mind. And when I express those thoughts, respond to my environment in that way, I am happy and I do radiate light.

And at some point, I know this will become my default ambience. I will have truly transformed my life.

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It's Just the Way It Is - Take III

5/25/2024

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I've written several posts on the truth that I heard many years ago from a traveling monk: things are the way they are because it's just the way it is. The last post explained why I can say that that's all ok - I will be safe, spiritually, regardless.

I have recently added another element to this truth, which I received from a spiritual video (Sister Sharon Johnson, I believe) – that it is meant to be. I have discussed this elsewhere, but I think it's important enough to have its own post.

What does it mean to say, "It's meant to be?" First, what it does not mean. It does not mean that God or some force decided that this is how things should be. There is no master puppeteer who controls what happens to us or to the world at large. It also does not mean that this is the way things should be. There is no value judgment in the statement.

What it does mean is that there are laws of nature that result in things happening. Everything that happens in nature, whether it's a catastrophe or something welcomed, whether it's clouds or rain, happens because of the way the laws of nature work, how one thing or state interacts with another.

There are also "laws" that result from the way that man has developed. It is a given that most men and women, from the time they are children through adulthood, will be controlled by various neuroses which impact how they feel about themselves and how they interact with those around them, from family to strangers. This is not a volitional choice that people make; it is how they have been programmed by their life experiences.

As a result, man suffers psychologically and makes others suffer much of the time. All of the violence, hatred, self-loathing, fear – and the list goes on – in the world that we experience or observe every day is thus "meant to be" in the sense that it results from the laws of man's developed nature.

As the monk who first imparted the wisdom of "it's just the way it is" to me said, "It's like the laws of thermodynamics." Only when you realize this and understand that this is something you cannot change – except how you react to it – will you be able to experience peace and happiness.

This is the essence of the first part of the Serenity Prayer – "Lord, grant me the serenity to understand the things I cannot change and the serenity to just be." This, together with the second part of that prayer – "And the courage to change the things I can, which is how I relate to myself and others: the thoughts I think, the words I speak, and the actions I take," is what this blog is all about. (The italicized words are my take on what "change the things I can" means.)

The courage and discipline this requires is huge. And that power is only accessible with consistency if you have unshakeable faith in your higher power, whether you call it the Buddha nature within you, your divinity, or the child of the universe within you. Even then it can be a struggle, but you will always come back to your faith and the truth of the Buddha dharma.

May you experience peace and happiness.

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Freeing Yourself from Fear - III

5/9/2024

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Many years ago, I wrote two posts about freeing yourself from fear. Everything I said in those posts is true, including the comment that I know that fear will keep on rising, despite all the awareness I expressed in those posts, because my ego is so strong and the fear of not being happy so ingrained.

And so while I have truly been free of fear regarding many things in my life, regarding the neuroses that are most central to my conditioning – that I am not worthy of happiness, that I am not a likable or lovable person – I remained filled with fear. Whenever that particular fear was activated, I was helpless, incapacitated, paralyzed and was not able to draw on my knowledge of the fact that fear is just a product of the mind and has no intrinsic existence.

Until the other night when my fear struck again with the usual unpleasant results, because when I am gripped by fear, I cannot exercise good judgment and so do exactly what I should not do at that moment.

But on this occasion, I expressed my fear to my friend, and he told me what I needed to hear. Note: Over the past year or two, as you know from my posts, I have added prayer to my meditation and have come to know that things are the way they are because it just as it is, it is meant to be and all is ok. And being in that state choose to be one with god, with the child of the universe within me, inviting him into my subconscious, to be my subconscious. (See my post, "Seeking the Guidance of Buddha/God/the Universe.")

But even with that transformation, there is much of the day when I am not one with the child of universe within me, and so I am still open to the harmful guidance of my ego-mind. And so I experience my deepest fears. My friend pointed this out to me and that the only antidote to fear is to be one with god throughout the day.

I of course knew this to be true but, despite my considerable discipline, I was not disciplined enough to stay with this truth. I did not focus on all three key truths – that fear is a product of the ego-mind, it is irrational; that I know that I am and have been truly loved; and that when I am one with god, there is no fear because I know that everything will be ok.

And so the next morning I sat with these truths and went deep inside myself. I felt viscerally that I was loved and that there was no basis for my fear of losing that love because it is unconditional, as it had shown itself to be, regardless that I had done things, with some frequency, that caused anger or hurt. That indeed it is my fear that results in my making bad judgments and acting in ways that do not show respect or regard; of being what Sister Sharon Johnson calls a "joy snatcher."

At the same time, I knew that when I am one with god, with the child of the universe within me, I am always loved, regardless whether I am loved by a fellow human; I am never alone and will be at peace and happy, I will be ok.

Those two truths are the double whammy that I used to prevent my ego-mind from creating fear within me and if that fear should arise nevertheless stop it from controlling me.

As a result, the last few days I have felt a freedom, a relief, from my fear of not being loved or happy. I am very grateful. My task is to continue the discipline of feeling the oneness with the child of the universe within me, with my divinity, and humbly invite it into my subconscious, to be my subconscious, and so to always know that fear is just a product of the mind. Throughout the day. When I am one with god, I will be happy regardless what transpires in my life.

My task - just do it!

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The Power of Prayer

4/20/2024

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Prayer is not a part of Buddhism. Chanting is, but that is a learning and affirming process; it is very helpful, but it is not prayer.

It is important to note that the prayer I'm talking about is not traditional prayer, which is to some force outside us; as I have explained before, I am not referring to the Judeo-Christian God, asking Him to make something happen. There is no force in the universe which is a master puppeteer. Instead, my prayer is to the Buddha nature, the divinity, or child or the universe within me. I am choosing to ask for its guidance and help rather than my ego-mind's. (See my post "Buddhism and the Divine.")

This is a riff on the saying, "The lord helps those who help themselves," meaning that by choosing to be one with the divinity within you, your child of the universe, your Buddha nature, you are helping yourself by choosing to put yourself in a place where nothing pushes your buttons and you are in the flow of the universe and thus ready to receive its bounty.

Every morning, I recite several prayers when I get up and during my meditation to focus me on what I need to do to live my life well, which is to experience peace and happiness, and radiate light. I am providing them to you as an example of prayers you can develop for yourself.

Mirror Prayer (said while looking in the mirror and smiling at my reflection first thing in the morning)

Good morning! I love you!

I rejoice in you, Lord, and am happy.
I sing and am happy..
I am awake and am happy.
I am grateful and am happy.
I am filled with wonder and am happy.
I know that things are the way they are because it's just the way it is, it is meant to be; it's all ok, and am happy.
I am humble and am happy
I forgive myself and am happy.

Thank you lord, I love you lord, I need you lord, I have faith in you lord.

Subconscious Prayer

Lord, I am so grateful that I am not alone, that you are here with me now.
I invite your into my subconscious, be my subconscious,
Filling me with abundance and light, faith and strength, freedom from fear, humility,
So that I radiate light and am a light unto myself and others,
Creating a forcefield around me which my ego-mind, mara, and the devil cannot penetrate.

Thank you lord, I love you lord, I need you lord, I have faith in you lord.

Courage Prayer

Lord, grant me the courage to
Live my life on a higher plane, experiencing all things with dispassion, free of emotion and fear.
To be free of cravings and attachments.
To love myself unconditionally, to know that you love me, to like myself, to forgive myself, to know that I am somebody without the acknowledgment of others.
To be strong, finding my strength in my faith in you, freeing myself from the weakness of my ego-mind.
To be aware of how my actions and words impact others, not causing them suffering.
To live my life's values.
To manifest financial abundance, good fortune, and financial security, and to know that I am deserving of that.
To know that things are the way they are because it's just the way it is; it's meant to be; it's all ok.
To be humble,
To turn my will and my life over to your care; to surrender my ego to your care.
To free myself from the conceit "I am" and instead say "your will, not my ego-mind's,"
To see myself and the world around me through the eyes of the child of the universe within me: full of positive energy and joy, the neutrality of my senses - the equanimity of my 3rd eye, free of worries, concerns, and fears, full of faith and strength.
To seek your guidance every moment of every day, to listen for your guidance, hear your guidance and follow your guidance.

Thank you lord, I love you lord, I need you lord, I have faith in you lord.

Natural State Prayer

Lord, please lead me away from my ego-mind's world of darkness, fear and anxiety, doubt and confusion, guilt and shame, back to my natural state of light, love, faith, trust, compassion, humility, gratefulness, joy, contentment, courage, strength, and wisdom.

By reciting these prayers, I am lifted to a place where i feel whole, at peace, happy, well, and safe. And I continue that state by focusing on my intent throughout the day, often reciting the subconscious prayer.

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Joy - The Final Take - Taking Joy in Each Moment Is Only Possible When You Radiate Light

4/6/2024

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I have written many posts about the challenge of experiencing joy - as my Vietnamese monk teacher said to me, "Take joy in each moment, in everything you do." Every time I thought I had found the key to have this experience, it turned out to be lacking.

Recently though, in visualizing the monk who gave me this advise, I realized something. He always radiated light, much as the Buddha is reported to have done. His skin was said to have glowed; the monk's did as well.

And when I realized that, I had my answer, the key to experiencing joy. You cannot experience joy unless you radiate light. Because if you do not radiate light, if you do not change the direction of your energy flow, you will be overwhelmed by the negativity in the world and your surroundings, you will be overcome with fear and anxiety, and so experiencing joy will not be possible, except occasionally.

This ties in directly to what I explained in my last post, "The Source of Peace and Equanimity." Knowing that things are the way they are because it's just the way it is, it is meant to be and it's all ok, I no longer feel the need to control and so I have the courage and freedom to choose to be one with the lord, one with the child of the universe within me – to say "Your will, not my mind's," – inviting him into my subconscious, to be my subconscious, filling me with light and abundance, faith and strength, humility, so that I radiate light and am a light unto myself and others, creating a forcefield around me that my ego-mind, mara, and the devil cannot penetrate.

And so it is that since my adopting this new practice, I experience joy on a regular basis. But when I don't radiate light, which happens because this practice is new and not embedded in me yet, I don't experience joy, The path forward is clear.

May you experience peace and happiness.

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The Source of Equanimity and Peace

3/28/2024

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I often refer in my writing to turning your will and your life over to your true Buddha nature, the divinity that is you, or the child of the universe that is within you - interchangeably. I also say that things are the way they are because it's just the way it is; it is meant to be and it's all ok. I also refer to Buddha-mind and ego-mind.

Realizing that these words can cause confusion - these are foreign concepts for many if not most people - I thought I should explain the connection of these thoughts in one post, rather than just referring you to various posts I have written over the years on these subjects. The interrelatedness, the balance, of these various thoughts is critical to understanding their power.

It all starts with the truth that we are all born essentially perfect with the Buddha nature inside us. This is a Buddhist maxim. While we may not be in that state now – we have typically been defiled by our learned experiences and by the reaction of our ego-mind – our Buddha nature is always inside us.

In the last few years I have realized the connection between the concept of Buddha nature and the concept of the divinity within us, the child of the universe that is us. (See my posts, "Buddhism and the Divine," and "The Miracle That Is You.") They are all one. Each of us has this force within us.

But how does our Buddha nature, our divinity, coexist with our ego-mind? They would seem to be irreconcilable forces, mutually exclusive. But our experience of ourselves, carefully examined, shows us that both these elements are within us. Think about your actions. Even if your actions are mostly in the control of your ego-mind, there are always those times when your Buddha nature, your divinity, comes through – presented in cartoons as an angel sitting on one shoulder whispering in your ear while the devil sits on the other shoulder urging you to take his path – and sometimes you choose to follow the guidance of the angel.

To understand this, one should think of the mind as a continuum, with the ego-mind at one end and our Buddha nature/divinity at the other end. Before we found Buddhism, the dial of our mind was set firmly on the ego-mind end of our mind's spectrum. But as our practice deepened, the dial moved more towards center, and if our practice becomes very deep, the dial is almost one with our Buddha nature. But unless we achieve enlightenment, our ego-mind will always be an active part of us and will rear its ugly presence when we have a weak moment.

From the acknowledgment of the Buddha/divinity/universe inside us comes a deepening of our practice by understanding that things are the way they are because it's just the way it is. I was told this truth many years ago by a monk in response to my question that if we are born essentially perfect with Buddha nature inside us, why is suffering universal. (See my post, "Suffering is Universal - But Why?")

After a time, I realized that this is not a statement of resignation, but a source of strength. When we know that there are forces in the universe, both the laws of nature as well as the nature of man, that cause things to be the way they are, it enables us to release the desire for control, recognizing that control is impossible (people may think they are in control, but that is a delusion; they aren't), and say, "Your will, not my mind's," understanding that things are the way they are because it's just the way things are; it is meant to be, and that we will be ok, safe, spiritually.

"Meant to be" does not mean that there is some force, like the Old Testament God, that determines what happens to us. Instead, it means that there are forces in the universe that bring about things as they are, whether it's the weather or the actions of man. As the monk who spoke to me said, "It's like the laws of thermodynamics."

And how can I say that "we will be ok" even when these forces can cause us terrible suffering, whether it's something like cancer or something brought about by man, like the material deprivations of poverty (hunger, lack of housing) or the concentration camps of the holocaust? The answer is twofold: first, just saying and believing that "things are the way they are because it's just the way it is; it is meant to be and all wii be ok," is self-fulfilling in that you will be calm regardless what is going on and so be able to exercise good judgment – that's a large part of being ok. Second, when we are one with the Buddha nature inside us, our divinity, or the child of the universe within us, we are sustained by that force and have no creature/carnal wants; our focus is on eternity. And so we are spiritually ok, safe. We have everything we need inside us to be at peace and happy. The Star Wars phrase, "May the force be with you," has real meaning; but you must give yourself over to that force.

But how do you get to that state? How do you free yourself from the control of your ego-mind. Most of my posts address this issue in one way or another; I have suggested numerous practices to help achieve that goal.

But I have found that what works best for me is my latest revelation, sparked by a phrase from an ancient Chinese poem, "When faith and mind are not separate, and not separate are mind and faith, this is beyond all words or thought, for here there is no yesterday, no tomorrow, no today; there is only the present moment, all else is thought."

And that practice is: Knowing that things are the way they are because it is meant to be, it's all ok, and being humble, I choose to be one with the divinity within me, the child of the universe within me, inviting it into my subconscious, be my subconscious, filling me with abundance and light, faith and strength, humility, so that I radiate light, am a light unto myself and others, and so create a forcefield around me that my ego-mind, mara, and the devil cannot penetrate. (See my post, "Change Your Life by Changing the Direction of Your Energy Flow.")

When I make that choice every day, throughout the day, I have no fear, no weakness. All internal and external struggle cease to be. I have everything inside me I need to be at peace and happy. I know all will be ok, I am safe spiritually, because I am one with the divinity within me. And so I am at peace and experience equanimity.

Humility - How to Gain It?

Burying Your Old Identity - II - Separating Yourself from Your Old Identity

Faith and Mind - Take III

You Cannot Radiate Light If You Are Filled with Fear

It's Just the Way It Is - Take III

Freeing Yourself from Fear - III

The Power of Prayer

Joy - The Final Take - Taking Joy in Each Moment Is Only Possible When You Radiate Light

The Source of Equanimity and Peace

March 15th, 2024

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